Stranded
by KeepingSchtum
Summary: Emily and Naomi meet in Paris as stranded travellers who just want to get home to England. They band together and find their way out of France, but something other than companionship forms. Will their relationship survive when they get home?
1. Rusty French and Cigarettes

Author's Note: Hello, all! I'm new to the Naomily fan fiction scene, and am actually quite scared about putting this out, since I've had writer's block for about a year now and this is the first thing I've been able to write.

This story is based on true events, but sadly I have nothing to do with skins, nor do I own these characters.

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><p><em><strong>Stranded<strong>_

Chapter 1: Rusty French and Cigarettes

"You just don't understand," I pleaded, as I ran my fingers roughly through my short blonde hair. "I need to get to Heathrow _tonight_!"

The airline representative smiled tightly at me. "I understand that, madame, but there is nothing I can do. Heathrow is closed and may re-open tomorrow morning. We will send you to a hotel in the meantime, and will give the hotel your flight information as soon as we can figure everything out. You have to understand... there are 1500 other passengers from three separate flights here that we are dealing with who _all_ need to get to London tonight." She spoke with a thick French accent, which made her words sound much more harsh than what they truly were.

"Fine," I said, completely dejected and feeling the weight of pure exhaustion on my shoulders. She fussed about with a few papers and wrote down my hotel room number on the back of a card for me.

I had been on the red-eye from Toronto to London, an eight hour long flight. An hour before we were supposed to land, the pilot announced that London Heathrow was closed due to a snow storm, and that we were being diverted to Paris. I didn't fall asleep on the plane, was too uncomfortable to even contemplate it. At first we were told that we would just stay on the plane for 45 minutes or so while we waited for Heathrow to open back up, but eventually everything went tits up and they told us to get off the plane and speak to an airline representative to find out what we were supposed to do next. So here I was, being shipped off to Euro Disney in a bloody blizzard and was being forced to share a hotel room with a complete stranger because rooming up was the only way we'd all be able to stay in one location, and as I was so pleasantly reminded, there were 1500 other passengers that the airline had to deal with and that I should stop making such a fuss.

Normally, I wouldn't be making such a fuss. Normally, I would have thought to bring my credit cards with me. Normally, I wouldn't have hesitated to change my Canadian Dollars into Euros. But this time, I didn't bring my credit cards – they were awaiting my return safely in my apartment in Bristol. And this time, Currency Exchange was closed when I reached Charles DeGaulle airport.

I was shit outta luck.

I grabbed all my bags and huffed and puffed my way through the crowd of other frustrated travellers and made my way into the blizzard outside as I queued up to wait for the Coach Bus to take me to fucking Euro Disney. In a fucking blizzard. Hoo-fucking-ray.

I didn't even know who my roommate was supposed to be yet. They gave us room numbers and told us to try to found our roommate on the bus or at the lobby in the hotel. But I didn't give a fuck at that point. All I cared about was trying to use my rusty French to bum a cigarette off a copper standing next to me.

"Excuse moi, monsieur, mais puis-je err...emprunter une cigarette?" I asked as the copper laughed his ass off at me.

"I speak English, miss," he laughed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. "But yes, you may 'borrow' a cigarette." He laughed even harder as he placed the cigarette between my lips and lit it for me. "Au revoir!" He called out as he walked away.

I smiled to myself and puffed away happily on my cigarette, even though I was freezing my fucking ass off in France waiting around for a coach bus, and I was pretty sure I just got made fun of by a Frenchman. At least I was still smiling. The people around me didn't seemed too worried about being stranded in Paris – two women near me had found a wine shop and bought a few bottles and had plastic cups sitting next to them. They were sitting on their suitcases and laughing their asses off as they sipped on their chardonnay. Maybe if I wasn't such a miserable bitch I could be as carefree as they were.

"'Scuse me, coming through," a tired, distinctly feminine yet husky voice called out nearby. She had her head down, and a blue knit cap on her head, covering her bright red hair, and was pushing through the crowd, seemingly headed my way. She stopped right in front of me and looked up for the first time, her brown eyes gazing into mine. She was breathtaking, to say the least.

"Can I bum a fag? Fucking security assholes at Pearson confiscated mine," she said, shuffling about awkwardly.

"I haven't got any more, sorry. Had to bum this one off a French copper. But you can finish this off if you like," I said as I handed her the cigarette. She smiled her thanks and stood next to me.

"Well, right fucking party this is," she said sarcastically and I laughed. "What room are you staying in?" She asked, peering up at me once again.

"Room 327, you?"

"I guess we're roommates," she said as she took a deep drag from the cigarette. "Let's hope the hotel sells cigarettes."

"It's owned by Disney, so it's not bloody likely," I said, a hint of sadness to my voice. She looked up at me with a smile in her eyes.

"Yes, but this is France. I just walked by a 10 year old smoking and selling newspapers." She said, exhaling and letting the cigarette smoke waft around us. "I'm Emily," she said with a smile and held out her hand for me to shake.

"Naomi." I shook her hand and smiled warmly at her. The bus pulled up as we were standing there like two fools, smiling at each other.

"Well, Naomi, this will be a bloody adventure, won't it?"

I laughed and nodded as I couldn't help but think that it already was quite the adventure. From the look in Emily's eyes, the curiosity and playfulness that I saw, I could tell it was only going to get better. Or at least, I could only hope that it was going to get better.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please do leave me a review and let me know what you thought :)<p> 


	2. Potentially Lost Buses in Blizzards

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for reading and for leaving me such lovely reviews on the last chapter. I replied to all the ones that I could, meaning the non-anonymous ones, and am now back with chapter 2 for you. I'm not feeling very confident about this one, feeling that it could have been a bit longer and that it ended a bit unnaturally but I got very stressed out while writing this due to some university stuff that came up, so I apologize immensely for that!

And again, the events in this story are true, but I sadly have nothing to do with Skins, nor do I own these characters.

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Potentially Lost Buses in Blizzards<span>

We were sitting on the bus next to each other, Emily fidgeting awkwardly, poking her fingers through her knit blue hat, which she'd now taken off. I wasn't sure if she was fidgeting because she was nervous around me or because she desperately wanted a fag. I could relate on both counts.

"So what brings you to Paris?" she asked with a shy smile as she continued to look down at her hands. Definitely nervous.

"Oh you know, London Heathrow closed due to four inches of snow so Air Canada sent me here for a lovely little vacation while I waited two or so hours for the snow to melt," I replied sarcastically, my dry humour making Emily laugh. "You?"

"Pretty much the exact same thing!" She said as she shrugged. "Who would have guessed?"

I laughed, maybe a bit too loudly as people around us started to turn around and stare at us. We were still waiting for the bus to finish loading up before we drove to Euro Disney.

I looked out the window and my stomach (and smile) dropped at what I saw. The sky had turned dark and grey, and it was a total white out. Snowflakes the size of my fist were falling, and I had a horrible feeling that even if Heathrow opened up tomorrow, Charles DeGaulle would be closed.

"Right mess we're in, aren't we?" Emily asked gently beside me. I merely nodded.

"I just wanted to get home in time for Christmas, you know?" I said, the stress and worry finally getting to me and making me feel horribly sad. "Work sent me out to Toronto last minute and I couldn't get out of it. It's been two weeks since I've seen my mates or my mum. Being alone in a strange city for two weeks during the holidays wasn't easy."

I looked down at my own hands and fiddled with the strap of my purse. Emily put her hand on top of mine and squeezed gently.

"It's okay to feel scared, Naoms," she said gently. I nodded and sniffled, possibly due to the cold and possibly due to the overwhelming urge to cry my heart out. "At least we're not totally alone now. I'll keep you company."

I smiled and nodded before she removed her hand from on top of mine. We sat quietly next to each other for a little while until the bus finally pulled away from the terminal, though how the driver was able to see where she was going was a total mystery to me, what with the blizzard she was now driving in.

Emily and I settled in for the drive, she pulling out her cell phone to try to get a signal, and I pulling out a hat, scarf, and mittens to try to keep warm. I was absolutely exhausted at this point, and figured that since we were in for a bit of a drive I may as well get some shut eye. I tried to get comfortable, resting my head against the window, but the bus kept bobbing up and down and made my head knock against it uncomfortably.

"Naomi?" Emily asked in an amused voice. I looked over to see that she was trying desperately not to laugh at me. "You can always lean on me if you want to sleep."

I smiled, relieved that she had offered and saved me from potential concussion and cuddled up into her shoulder, moving the arm rest that separated us back. She was so warm and comfortable and smelled delicious. It was easy to fall asleep, leaning on her.

"Mum, don't worry, I'm fine," Emily said in a hushed voice as I slowly woke up. I didn't dare move though, I was far too comfortable. "The airline is putting us up in a hotel for the night and arranging flights for us tomorrow. I'm sharing a room with a girl named Naomi...yes, mum, _a girl_!... I don't know, she could be...look, I've got to go, we're pulling up to the hotel. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."

She hung up with a huff and put the cell phone back in her bag rather aggressively. As tempted as I was to continue leaning on Emily, my neck was starting to hurt a bit and if we really were at the hotel I'd have to get up. I yawned and made a big show of sitting upright again. I looked over at Emily to see that she was smiling at me.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" She asked as I ran my fingers through my hair and trying to assess whether I'd made a total mess of it or not. I shook my head and she nodded. "I think we're either lost or almost at the hotel," she said, her voice sounding tired.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking out the window and trying to understand what she meant.

"Well, we've been driving around in circles for about a half an hour, and I'm not sure if that means we're completely lost or the driver just can't see the bloody hotel in this blizzard," she replied as she rubbed her eyes. I nodded and continued to look out the window into the pitch black roads. The snowflakes falling were illuminated by the lights from within the bus, and they were still the size of my fist.

Emily grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly again. "I'm kind of scared, Naoms," she said quietly. I smiled at the nickname she gave me and turned to look at her.

"Me too, Em," I said as I squeezed her hand back and gave her my best reassuring smile. "But, like you said, at least we're not totally alone."

She smiled at me just as the bus driver pulled into the hotel driveway. Her eyes brightened up at the sight of the huge Easter Island-like sculptures that were dotted around the hotel and I smiled.

We got off the bus and hauled our suitcases out, which was really quite difficult considering there was already a foot of snow on the ground and rolling our suitcases was nearly impossible. I was thankful I'd worn boots on the plane at this point, but Emily had no such luck and had snow in her running shoes. She was a pretty good sport about it, squealing and laughing and trying not to let me see how she was shivering or how her teeth were chattering. Luckily we were one of the first ones in the hotel lobby and were able to get checked in right away.

We decided to put our bags up in the hotel room and possibly get changed and showered before coming back downstairs in search of fags and food. We made our way up to our room just as most of the people started flooding in from outside with their bags and started to check in. Emily smiled at me, her eyes warm and happy, probably because she knew we now had a place to sleep tonight. I had to admit it was quite a relief, a small bit of comfort when I was feeling so out of sorts. But to be honest, I'm not sure if the idea of a bed was what was truly comforting. Part of me wondered if what was really comforting was the gorgeous redhead standing next to me, pulling chunks of snow out of her running shoes and smiling as she did so.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	3. A Female Equivalent to

Hello everybody! So here I sit at 1:30 am, typing out this author's note in total darkness and total blindness I might add as I can't find my glasses at the moment and can't see anything really, lol! That is either true commitment or obsession and I'm not totally sure which one it is at this point. I'm really loving writing this story and hearing from all of you, and it's kept me going to a point where this is the third day in a row that I've updated even though life has been quite hectic lately.

Thank you so much to all of you who are continuing to read, review, and add this story to your alerts and/or favourites! It makes me feel so immensely happy to know that people are reading this and liking it :)

And once again, this story is inspired by true events, but I have nothing to do with Skins and I sadly do not own these characters.

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><p>Chapter 3: A Female Equivalent to...<p>

"Emily can you please stop hogging the hairdryer, these normally lovely blonde locks are starting to look much less than lovely!" I called out from my spot on the bed. I had the TV turned on and was watching the news in French, listening for weather updates and flight cancellations.

"I'm almost finished, Naoms, I promise!" She replied, earning an exasperated huff from me. I walked into the bathroom and froze at what I saw.

Emily. In a towel. Blow drying her hair. _Emily's naked under that towel_.

"Um, Naoms?"

I snapped out of it and raised my eyes up to her face to see that she was smiling slightly, almost looking like she was going to burst out laughing.

"As lovely as you look in those track pants and that t-shirt with a pig on it, you were right...your hair does look a bit of a mess," she said, still smiling. I stuck my tongue out at her.

"That wouldn't have been a problem if you didn't take half an hour blow drying your hair," I retorted as she laughed and turned the blow dryer off. She smiled at me mischievously and handed me the blow dryer before leaving the bathroom. I could only hope that she would put on some clothes so I could at least have a chance at not imagining her naked.

I blow dried my hair, making it look significantly better than it had a few minutes ago, and put on some chapstick. I turned to head back into the room and dig through my suitcase to find a pair of jeans – Emily and I were planning on heading down to the lobby, finding fags and maybe even dinner. We were more worried about the fags, though.

Emily was sat on the bed where I had been sitting minutes earlier, watching the news in French and frowning every once in a while at a story that caught her attention.

"Did you know that this soccer guy did something to this other soccer guy and some French people seem really pissed off about it?" She asked me with a playful smile. I laughed at her and pulled on a pair of jeans – yes I was comfortable enough around Emily to be in my knickers for a few brief moments before putting on a pair of jeans. I was also hoping she would be appreciating the view. I turned around after a few moments of hearing nothing from Emily and caught her checking me out. I smiled at her as she blushed and returned her attention to the TV.

"See something you like, Ems?" I taunted, shaking my ass in front of her as she laughed and slapped it. I feigned shock and gasped at her. "_Emily! _I am a _lady!_ How dare you slap my ass as though I'm a horse!"

She laughed and turned off the TV before grabbing my hand and leading me out the door.

Two hours, two packs of fags, a bag of chips, and maybe a few too many drinks later, Emily and I returned back to our hotel room. My sober-self was screaming at me to stop grabbing her hand so much, stop staring at her ass so much, and to stop picturing her naked, _for Christ's sake!_

But my drunk self...ho, ho, ho, my drunk self was having a right laugh, "accidentally" grazing Emily's left breast, staring at her ass so much so that Emily noticed, grabbing her hand, dancing with her, drinking with her, and then convincing her to drink more even though she was definitely already drunk.

"This was such a bad idea, Naoms. It's midnight and we have to wake up at...4 in the morning to line up to get the coach for 6. What if we wake up," Emily started laughing uncontrollably at this point and fell on the bed, pulling me down with her. She turned on her side to face me, still laughing. "What if we wake up and we're still drunk! They won't let us on the plane!"

I laughed, but really I wasn't even listening to her anymore. The way she was looking at me was driving me mad. She stopped laughing, and her smile slowly faded when she noticed the way I was looking at her. I moved closer towards her, scooting closer on the bed. Her eyes darkened and she licked her lips before looking down at mine.

I brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes, making her shyly look down. "Ems," I whispered, moving even closer still. She looked up at me, the lustful look those crazy dark brown eyes making my legs feel like jelly.

I leaned in and gently brushed my lips against hers, barely even touching them really, but my god, the electric current that ran through my body at that moment of contact was like absolutely nothing I'd ever felt before. She pulled away slightly and licked her lips before leaning back into me, descending her lips upon mine. She took my bottom lip between hers and started sucking on it, still being so gentle with me.

This wasn't a typical drunken hook up. I'd never been so gentle, so caring with anyone I'd been with, really, drunk or sober.

Emily wrapped her arms around me as I threaded my fingers through her hair and rolled her over so I was straddling her. Her tongue gently brushed against my lips, asking for entrance, which I happily granted her.

My hands slowly descended from her hair, moving first to her collarbones and then to just above her breasts. I broke apart from the kiss, looking into those deep brown orbs as I pressed my hands into her, feeling every breath and every heart beat. I'd never felt so connected to anyone.

"Naoms," she whispered, her eyes hooded and lustful. "I want you so badly."

I kissed her again gently because I could sense that there was another part to what she was saying, a part that could include rejection and I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to stay in this moment with Emily, frozen, no words maiming whatever it is that I was feeling that made my heart hurt this much, but simultaneously made me feel higher than even the best drugs could.

She pulled away from my lips and looked up at me again. "Naoms," she whispered much more seriously this time. "I really do want this, I really do, but I can't."

There it was. I pulled away from her so I was basically sitting on top of her and closed my eyes. Ran my fingers through my hair frustratedly.

"I just don't want us to be drunk right now," she said, grabbing my hand and placing it on her chest. "I don't want to risk forgetting this."

I sighed heavily. If she wasn't being so logical or sweet and maybe if her boobs weren't looking so fucking fantastic I'd actually have the capacity to feel angry right now. But she was being logical and sweet and her boobs really did look fucking fantastic so I had to just go along with what she was saying. I huffed and laid down next to her, tangling my fingers through my hair.

"I wonder if there's a female equivalent to blue balls," I said after a few moments. Emily burst out laughing and cuddled into my side, dropping a kiss just below my collarbone.

"I'll make it up to you," she whispered as she continued to kiss down slightly lower, until she was kissing right where my heart was. "I promise."

And then she cuddled up into my side like some tiny baby koala bear and gave me a light kiss on the lips. Within minutes she was asleep, letting out a gentle yet feminine snore.

"I'm so fucked," I said to no one in particular.

My drunk mind couldn't help but note that I was most definitely _not_ fucked.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	4. Safe

Hello everybody! This chapter was a bit difficult for me to write today as my good friends are going away to university this weekend and I'm feeling a bit lonely. But I pushed through and finished up this chapter for you since I know most of you are loving the consistent updates! Thanks so much to those of you who continue to read and review this story and add it to your favourites/alerts. It makes me amazingly happy to know that people are reading this and enjoying it :)

And as usual, this is based on a true story but sadly I have nothing to do with Skins and therefore do not own these characters.

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><p><span>Chapter 4: Safe<span>

I was woken up from my pleasant slumber by the sound of Emily's hushed voice. I noticed immediately that she wasn't cuddled up next to me as she had been when we first fell asleep. She was still next to me, but was now sitting up and seemed to have her head buried in her hands.

"Mum, please. It's three in the morning and I'm in fucking France, how am I supposed to know where Katie is?" she mumbled. I would have smiled, she sounded so cute, but I could also hear the pain in her voice. She probably had a massive headache by now and was likely feeling the hangover set in. "Look, mum, I've got to go, I really need to get some sleep. Goodnight."

She hung up and huffed before tossing her cell phone back down onto the bed. She laid back down next to me and turned to face me, smiling as she noticed that I was awake.

"Sorry for waking you," she whispered huskily before kissing me lightly on the lips.

I shrugged. "It's alright. Who's Katie?" I asked, rubbing my eyes in an effort to seem nonchalant when really the question was eating away at me. All I could think was _"please don't tell me she's your girlfriend"_.

"Ahh, Katie's my twin sister. Bit of a party girl, that one. Mum didn't know where she was, as usual, and somehow thought that I would," she said, rolling her eyes. I could sense some kind of hostility or resentment just radiating off Emily, so I tried to comfort her. I took her in my arms and squeezed her, maybe a bit too tightly and kissed her gently.

"We should really get some sleep," I said as she snuggled in closer to my chest. She nodded against me, and we fell back asleep curled up together like that.

We were up exactly one hour later at 4 in the morning so we could be the first people in line for the coaches that were due to pick us up at 6 to take us back to the airport. The plan was to get us on a plane as soon as possible and get us to Heathrow before an even bigger snowstorm hit Paris and potentially closed the airport.

Emily and I rushed around the room, gathering all our things and throwing them in our bags. We knew we both looked like absolute shit, but neither of us seemed to care.

We were in the lobby at 4:15, sitting on our bags and waiting for the coaches. And yes, we were first in line, thank goodness. But the downside of getting up at 4 was that neither of us could see outside as it was pitch black, so we couldn't really be sure of just how bad the weather was out there.

Emily seemed to be acting a bit weird, almost as though she was avoiding me. She wouldn't really look at me and responded a bit shortly whenever I spoke to her. It was worrying me, especially considering what had almost happened last night. I wasn't even really sure if Emily was gay. I couldn't help but worry I had been pushing her too hard last night and that now I'd essentially pushed her away.

After about 45 minutes of sitting in silence, I turned to Emily and stared her down. I continued to stare at her until she finally decided to acknowledge my presence and looked at me with an apprehensive look.

"Ems, what the fuck?" I asked, trying my best not to sound harsh. She flinched slightly and shook her head.

"I'm just...worried," she replied, knotting her fingers in her hair. "I mean, is it even a possibility for us to be together? Are you even gay? Where do you live? What do you do for a living? How old are you? Did I push you too far last night? Did I not push you far enough? Why did it feel so nice to sleep next to you? Why don't I want to go home?"

I was flabbergasted. How could she possibly have been thinking all these things about us...about me? We'd only known each other for less than 24 hours. This was madness, something here should have been sending off alarm bells in my head. But what was even scarier was that I wasn't scared. Emily didn't make me feel uneasy or uncomfortable or anything of the sort.

And _that_ scared the crap out of me.

I could only imagine that she was feeling the same way. So I did everything I could to assure her that I wanted exactly what she wanted. That I wanted to know everything about her, too. That I was worried about what things were going to turn into when we got home.

"Yes, there is a possibility for us to be together. Yes, I am gay. I live in Bristol. I work for a publishing company and I edit articles and textbooks. I'm 24. You didn't push me too far last night, and you didn't not push me far enough. I'm glad we didn't have drunken sex. I want more than that for us. I don't know why it felt so nice to sleep next to me, but I do know that it felt nice to sleep next to _you_, even though you woke me up at 3 am. I don't want to go home either because I'm scared of what's going to happen once we get back to reality. I'm already scared that things won't work out and nothing has even started yet."

I sat there for a few moments after, just staring at Emily. Taking in all the emotions that were written all over her face.

And then I leaned in and I kissed her, trying desperately to convey all my confusion and all my want and need and lust, just hoping that she would finally _get it_.

The coaches pulled up a moment later. Emily and I walked outside together, holding hands and pulling our bags behind us through all the snow that had accumulated overnight. We didn't say anything to each other, but I knew that the silence was what we needed right now. I needed a moment to process things and I was sure Emily did too. Frankly, I was scared shitless. I'd never done anything like that before. Let anyone in like that before, especially so soon after meeting them. But Emily made me feel like I was alright. Like whoever I was would be accepted unconditionally, and that every emotion I felt was perfectly fine and justified, as long as I talked to her about it and reciprocated. She just made me feel safe, and I could only hope and strive to do the same for her.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	5. Late Coaches and Cancelled Flights

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews you've all left me and for continuing to read this story. So I wasn't able to keep up the daily updates and I don't think I'll be able to keep it up anymore. School's starting up again and it's back to University for me. I'm going to aim for updates twice a week, and hopefully I'll be able to stick to it :)

I'm feeling a little unsure about this chapter, probably because basically all my friends have gone away to uni and I'm stuck here without them. Oh well!

And again, this is based on a true story but I still have nothing to do with Skins and therefore do not own these characters.

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><p><span>Chapter 5: Late Coaches and Cancelled Flights<span>

Emily and I were supposed to be at the airport for six am that day, along with everybody else who was on the flight from Toronto. Of course, nothing about this trip went to plan so we didn't end up at the airport until seven am. I didn't even end up panicking. I just shrugged as Emily looked at me worriedly after checking her wristwatch.

"Can't control the snowstorm, Ems," I said and she smiled slightly and then shrugged too.

Yes, another snow storm was rolling in and it just so happened to start snowing the second the coach bus pulled away from the hotel. Because of this snowstorm the drive to the airport took two hours instead of one. We'd been told by hotel staff that our flight was supposed to leave at 7:15 that morning, so by the time we finally got to the airport we figured we'd definitely missed the flight. We all shuffled off the coaches regardless and grabbed our luggage and hauled it into the airport, heading straight to the airline representative desk.

But of course, with our marvellous luck, there wasn't even a single representative standing at the desk. In fact, the airport looked very empty.

"This is bullshit," Emily said to me as we sat down on our suitcases. "They thought we were going to be here for 6 – we're an hour late and they still haven't even shown up!"

"Ems, it'll be alright, we'll get home eventually," I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly.

An announcement was made then as Emily and I continued to hold hands. I listened attentively, using my shoddy French to try to figure out what they were saying.

"_Un annonce a tous les passagers. L'aeroport Charles DeGaulle a ete ferme en raison de mauvaises conditions meteorologiques. Tous les vols sont annules. Merci pour votre patience_."

Emily looked at me expectantly as I buried my face in my hands and shook my head.

"Flights are cancelled, airport's closed," I mumbled through my fingers. I sighed heavily and stood up, resorting to what I referred to as Plan Z – also known as 'Get the fuck out of Paris using any means possible'.

"Ems, you want to go home today, right? You wouldn't want to stay another night?"

She nodded at me, the tiredness in her face showing through. I grabbed her hand tightly.

"Okay, this is going to be really chaotic but you've got to trust me and don't ask me any questions until I find the place we're going to," I said firmly. She nodded at me, slightly wide eyed. I could understand why, I was acting like a mad woman. I just had to get the fuck out of France and I'd be damned if I didn't get home today with Emily. Christmas was quickly approaching and I was dying to get back to my apartment and see my mates and my mum. I was fucking _done_ with this country.

"Grab your things," I said as I kissed Emily quickly and grabbed all of my things before I started digging around my purse for my cell phone.

I lead Emily in the direction of the train station as I called my mum and explained the situation to her. I knew that once I got to the train station, buying a ticket there would be almost impossible. I had to buy the tickets beforehand online so I could simply go to the EuroStar kiosks they had there and pick up the tickets instead of purchasing them. Of course, the problem with that was that the only free wifi in the airport was at McDonalds and the bandwidth would be no doubt be totally used up by everybody who was trying to rent cars, buy ferry tickets, buy train tickets, and reserve hotel rooms. I talked my mum through buying the tickets, making sure she bought them first class as well. It may have seemed a bit excess, but I knew that if there was a problem, whether it be train delays or cancellations, first class ticket holders would receive priority over other ticket holders. I expected the delays and potential cancellations due to the weather – trains would be operating at a reduced speed and would be over capacity as well due to the overwhelming amount of stranded passengers.

"Ok, Naomi, the tickets are bought. I'll email you the confirmation numbers and all the fee details so you can pick up the tickets. I'll be at King's Cross tonight to pick you and your friend up, alright love? Keep me updated on what's going on."

"Yes, thank you so much mum, I really appreciate this. Sorry for waking you up so early."

She laughed and wished us luck before hanging up.

I glanced behind me to make sure that Emily was still managing to keep up. I had longer legs than she did and was worried I was going too fast for her, but she was keeping up really well. The determined look on her face made me smile. She'd obviously heard me talking to my mum and had figured out that we were heading to the train station in the airport.

"You alright, Ems?" I called out behind me as I finally saw the elevators to go down to the train station.

"Bloody fantastic!" She replied sarcastically, making me laugh. We stopped just in front of the elevators and she smiled at me. "We made it!"

I kissed her over and over and over again, feeling euphoric that we were finally getting the fuck out of France and heading back home. I knew we'd probably have to spend the night in London before getting the train down to Bristol but I just didn't care anymore. I was just so bloody happy that Emily and I were finally going back home and figure out whatever was going on between us. It was difficult to do that while we were here, since we were almost constantly worried about flights or coaches or luggage. Whatever was blossoming between us had taken the backseat to what we were dealing with now. I certainly felt that if we did end up becoming a couple being together through such a stressful situation and coming through it could definitely help us later on.

Even though it felt crazy to be thinking about Emily and I as a couple, especially since we'd only known each other a day, it just felt right somehow. Everything about my time in France felt a bit mad, but I was learning to let go of my controlling habits and just go with it for once. It was refreshing and new, as were the feelings I had fluttering in my stomach whenever I looked at Emily, or caught her smiling at me.

Of course, I hoped that things between Emily and I would develop when we got home, but at the same time I worried that they wouldn't. That we'd let the realities of real life get to us and wouldn't be able to make things work. It's easy for me to get overwhelmed, since I over-analyze things all the time. Part of me couldn't help but feel scared. But there was another part of me who was laughing at my irrational thoughts, reminding me that Emily and I had already been through quite a bit in only 24 hours and that I hadn't felt overwhelmed by her yet.

"Naomi," Emily mumbled against my lips. "Stop over-thinking things and get in the fucking elevator."

I broke apart from our kiss and smiled at her as she dragged me into the elevator and kissed me again.

And I still didn't feel overwhelmed. I just felt happy.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you thought :)<p> 


	6. Suitcase Forts

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for continuing to read and review this story. This chapter is really quite short but I felt it just fit; some important revelations are made in the chapter and I felt that the focus should be on that rather than other little things. I've been going a little crazy these past few days at uni, and today I walked around so much that I ended up with very sore and blistered feet - lovely! One of the benefits of having such a huge campus. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!

Sadly I still don't own Skins, but this story is based on true events.

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><p><span>Chapter 6: Suitcase Forts<span>

"Excuse moi, madame, vous ne pouvez pas fumer dans la gare!"

If I had five euros for every time a French officer told me not to smoke in the train station, I'd be a bloody millionaire.

"Excuse moi, monsieur, mais ca c'est la France! Tout le monde fume dans ce pays!" I replied back as I handed Emily a cigarette and the lighter. She smiled at me as the officer frowned. "Il y a beaucoup de stress dans ma vie a le moment et j'ai besoin d'un cigarette."

"I have no clue what you're saying but I like it," Emily whispered beside me, smoke blowing into my face as she spoke. I smiled back at her and the officer shrugged and walked away.

"I told him that this is France and that everybody smokes here," I said as she cuddled into my side. "And then I told him that I had a lot of stress in my life at the moment and that I needed a cigarette."

"I see," she whispered as she put the cigarette to her lips and inhaled. "You know, I'm not usually this super shallow girl who gets turned on when she hears a hot girl speak another language."

"Really?" I asked with a smile on my face as she continued to cuddle up closer to me. "Well I suppose I just bring out the best in you then, Ems."

She laughed and took another drag from her cigarette. It was absolutely freezing in this train station, and we still had another three hours to wait for our train. There was a "first class" designated waiting area, though it definitely didn't seem like it. What it had become was "the only bloody room in the whole train station that had doors that closed and power outlets with maybe a few seats here and there", so naturally everybody was in there. Every single seat was taken and every single power outlet was taken, so Emily and I had formed a fort on the floor using our luggage and some spare coats. We cuddled up together under our fort, staying blissfully warm while everybody else stared at us. I wasn't sure if they stared at us because we were fucking geniuses and built a fort for warmth, or if it was because we looked a bit mad. I didn't really care either way.

We had to leave the closed room and take down our fort when we wanted to have a cigarette though, which was a bit of a bummer really. I liked that fort.

"D'you think your mum will like me?" Emily asked timidly as she snuggled in closer to me. I smiled at her.

"Of course she'll like you!"

She looked down at her shoes, seemingly still unsure about herself. "She won't mind that I'm a girl?"

My heart melted. If Emily was actually concerned about what my mum would think of her, it meant that she was in the exact same place I was – hoping for this to develop into a relationship. I knew I would be worried if I was meeting Emily's mum later tonight; this little tidbit of information could only reassure me of my feelings for her.

"Em, she nearly threw me a fucking party when I came out. She's very open minded and will probably be so bloody excited to meet you. Don't worry," I said as I pulled her in closer and kissed her on the forehead. She nodded against me before stubbing out her cigarette. She waited for me to finish mine before she looked back up at me with unsure eyes.

"I wish I had a mum like yours," she said quietly, letting out a huge sigh. "She...isn't very accepting."

I nodded at her, urging her to continue. I couldn't understand how someone so sweet could have fought through having an un-accepting family when she was coming out. From what I'd seen in Emily, I could tell that she was sensitive and cared about others deeply. I couldn't imagine how much pain her mother's rejection would have put her through.

"The first night we were here, when she called, she asked me if I was rooming with a girl, as though I'd had some kind of control over it. She probably thinks I'll meet some guy with a magic dick who'll cure me or something of the sort. But that's just not who I am," she sighed again and looked down. She sniffled a little bit, and I was quite sure it wasn't from the cold.

"Emily, I'm sorry," I whispered before kissing her gently. She shrugged and laughed uncomfortably, trying to play the situation off as though it was nothing. "Thank you for telling me."

She looked up at me then, her brown eyes open completely to me, showing me every ounce of her vulnerability. "I care about you, Naoms," she said gently, not breaking eye contact with me. "I want you to know this kind of stuff about me."

I could think of nothing to say so I kissed her gently before smiling at her, and dragging her back to the waiting room to rebuild our suitcase fort.

I realized that that was the first time Emily truly opened up to me. She had a few moments the night before, once while we were on the coaches when she told me that she was scared, and the other while we were waiting for the coaches and she basically admitted to having feelings for me. While that was a step forward, it was nowhere near what had just occurred between us. I felt as though I'd only just been allowed to see Emily for who she really is. That Emily trusted me enough to let me in that deep. It was powerful and moving and amazing. Maybe even a little bit scary. But I pushed all those kinds of commitment-phobic thoughts from my head and turned to look at the girl beside me, tossing extra coats over our suitcases to rebuild our fort. I felt myself smile and realized that for the moment, there was no need to feel afraid of being committed to her. For the moment, we were happy and together and stuck in Paris.

And really, that was all that mattered. For the moment, at least.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	7. Follow Me

Hello everybody! I'm back for the first update of the week, and am hoping to stick to a Wednesday and Friday updating schedule now that uni's started back up again. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I am so glad that you've all decided to continue reading this story and reviewing and adding it to your alerts and favourites and such! I hope you don't mind that I haven't had time to reply to reviews as of yet this week as things have been quite hectic with lectures and readings and such, but I have tomorrow off so I hope to get that done then :)

And again, I don't own or have anything to do with skins but this is based on a true story.

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><p><span>Chapter 7: Follow Me<span>

The train ride to Lille was positively blissful. Emily and I were one of the only people in the car of the train, and we got big seats that reclined and had power outlets built into them as I'd made sure to buy the first class tickets. Looking out the window and seeing the snow covered French countryside took my breath away. Everything was so calm and peaceful and warm. Emily was sat across from me, a table between the two of us. She charged her cell phone and reclined her chair and fell asleep. She looked so beautiful and peaceful that I almost didn't want to get to the train station in Lille since I'd have to wake her up. Neither of us had slept very well since we got here and though I felt exhausted, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the beautiful woman in front of me.

I was so excited to finally be going home with Emily for so many different reasons. I wanted her to meet my mum and my friends and I wanted to meet hers as well. I wanted to see how she would fit into my life with the pressures of work and everyday stresses. I suppose I was a bit worried yet excited at the same time about what was to come. I knew I'd only really seen one part of who Emily was so far and I couldn't wait to find out about all her little quirks and what she did for a living and all the kinds of things you would usually find out on a first date. It seemed a bit odd to me, not knowing very much about the details of Emily's life, but then again we'd only known each other for about a day and a half. I did care for her quite a lot, though – there was something that immediately attracted me to her, from the first time I saw her with that blue hat on her head. Obviously she'd felt drawn to me too, for whatever reason, since she chose to come and talk to me, ask _me_ for a cigarette when she could have asked anybody else around us who was smoking. It was all a bit mind-blowing really, to think that if I had decided to stand somewhere else, or had argued a bit more with the airline attendant that I wouldn't have been at that place at the moment Emily decided to walk out into the cold. Would she still have found me? Would we still have developed the same relationship that we did?

Regardless of what could have been, I was immensely happy to have what I did now. It finally looked as though I'd be home in time for Christmas, and I'd get to see my friends and my mum and maybe even ring in the New Year with Emily and kiss her at midnight.

I stared out the window into the vast French countryside and smiled to myself.

I was happy.

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><p>"Fuck, Naoms, I'm fucking freezing, I think my nose is going to fall off," Emily said through chattering teeth as we queued up at the Lille Europe train station. I was watching the departures and arrivals board, watching as many of the departing trains turned from the green "on time" to orange " delayed" and then red "cancelled". It was frightening to say the least.<p>

"I'm sorry, Ems, d'you want me to find another jacket for you?" I asked as I tried to move us closer to the sporadically placed heating poles which everybody was crowding around for warmth.

Emily shook her head and held her hands up in front of her once she managed to get a coveted spot by the heating pole. "It's alright, I'll be fine now, Naoms," she said quickly before sneezing. God, she had a cute sneeze.

"Okay, just try to keep an eye out for where I am and don't let me get too far ahead in the line. We've got to stick together, yeah?" I said, kissing her on the cheek gently as she nodded at me and smiled her thanks.

The line moved quite slowly and eventually Emily had warmed up enough to come stand next to me again. A EuroStar representative flowed through the queue and asked to see people's tickets. From what I could see, she was marking who was first class and trying to create a designated line for them. I was so thankful we'd bought those first class tickets as the representative approached us and asked us for our tickets. She smiled at us and moved us into the much shorter first class line. We got through customs easily enough and were seated in a warm waiting area for our train. The company even dropped off warm dinners for us all while we waited as our train was delayed by about two hours due to the poor weather conditions.

"We couldn't have done this without each other, could we, Naoms?" Emily asked me as she slipped another forkful of rice into her mouth.

"No, Emsie, I don't think we could have." I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. I watched as the corners of her mouth turned up before she continued to eat her dinner.

I'd never really depended on anybody other than my mum, but this trip had definitely forced me to depend on Emily, and vice versa. So while Emily and I didn't have the quintessential perfect first date, or the proper factual foundation for a good relationship, we'd built something else. We built something based on trust and dependence and perseverance. That must have counted for something. I may not have known what she did for a living, or whether she still lived at home or even what she was doing in Toronto, but I knew that Emily trusted me and cared about me. I knew that she'd stick with me through blizzards and cancelled flights and closed airports, and let's face it, travelling can be one of the most stressful things a person goes through these days, especially when things don't go according to plan. But we'd pulled through. It gave me hope that we could continue to do that through whatever relationship we may form once we get back to England.

I'd never really bothered to let anybody get in too deep and meet the real Naomi Campbell. I was far too sensitive, far too soft deep down and I knew that if I really did ever let somebody in, it would have to be a big deal for me. I'd have to really care about them to let them see the real me. Emily had seen glimpses, but I was still cautious of letting her in completely just yet. While we'd built a strong bond and strong feelings for one another, everything was still too unsure for us to delve into things any further just yet. And to be honest, I was alright with that, probably because I was petrified of what would happen if I did let Emily in and things didn't work out due to circumstance or conflicting schedules or other trivial things.

But within that moment, within knowing that I couldn't have gotten through my French debacle without Emily, I decided that if and when the time came to let her in, I would do so willingly. She'd let me in, even if it was just a little bit and I owed her the same.

I heard the rumble of the train tracks and smiled at Emily as she looked up at me with a matching smile. The train was here.

"Ready to go home and face the real world, Ems?" I asked her as she dropped off our trays. She smiled at me and grabbed my hand.

"Only if you come with me," she said with a smile as she leaned up to kiss me.

I knew then that I'd follow her wherever she wanted to go.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought of the chapter in a review :)<p> 


	8. Gina

Hello everybody! Here's the second update of the week - I've managed to stick to my Wednesday and Friday updating schedule so far! Thanks so much to those of you who continue to review and add this story to your alerts/favourites, it really means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

And once again I have nothing to do with Skins but this is based on real events.

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><p><span>Chapter 8: Gina<span>

As the train pulled into King's Cross station, every passenger clapped and cheered, Emily and I a little louder than the others, likely due to the two glasses of wine we had flowing in our systems.

"Oh, God, Naomi, I'm gonna meet your mum and she's going to think I'm drunk!" Emily said between laughs and hiccups as we grabbed our bags and loaded them off the train.

"Don't worry about it, Ems, mum's probably brought some form of alcohol to greet us with anyway," I said as she handed me the last bag and then hopped off the train. "Besides, you are _slightly_ drunk."

She laughed and hit me playfully on the arm as we started pulling our suitcases off the platform. "You had the same amount of wine as I did and yet you're not drunk at all!" She said with a slight pout, making her look even cuter. Half of me wanted to pinch her cheeks and kiss her on the nose, and the other half wanted to do much dirtier things to those perfectly plump pink lips.

"Yes, but Ems, you're half Oompa Loompa," I said seriously as she stared at me bemusedly. "Such tiny creatures aren't meant to handle so much alcohol, darling."

Emily looked over my shoulder, as I'd stopped to turn around and talk to her, and she smiled at me.

"Naomi, you never told me your mum was a cowgirl," she said playfully as I shot her a confused look. She pointed over my shoulder, and surely when I looked over, Gina was standing there waving her arms in the air...wearing a cowboy hat.

"She looks exactly like you, Naoms," Emily said with a smile. "And now I can't stop picturing you with a cowboy hat and boots on...and nothing else."

And with that she pushed me towards my mother as my face flushed a shade of crimson I didn't know existed.

"H-hello, mum," I said, clearing my throat awkwardly as I tried to stop imagining Emily kissing me, Emily's hands all over my body, Emily's-

"And this is Emily," I said as I grabbed Emily's hand and dragged her over to us.

"Hello, Emily, love, it's wonderful to finally meet you!" My mum said as she grabbed Emily forcefully and hugged her. I smiled as my mum looked up at me over Emily's shoulder and gave me a thumbs up and a joyous smile.

"Mum," I said as soon as my mum let Emily go. "May I ask why you're wearing a cowboy hat?"

My mum blushed and apologized for looking like an idiot before explaining. "I left the house in such a rush, I asked Kieran to find me a hat and this was the only thing he could find for me. I was already running late for the train so I told him he was a twat and then I left."

I smiled as I watched Emily desperately try not to burst out laughing. My mum rolled her eyes and shrugged before she smiled at us and grabbed some of our bags and lead us out of the station.

"We've got to take the tube and get to Paddington since our train tomorrow is leaving from there and the B&B I've booked for us is there. It'll be a right pain in the ass getting all these bags down the stairs to the tube but with the three of us I'm sure we can manage," she said as she shot us an apologetic look. The idea of carrying all our bags down the stairs to get to the tube would have normally pissed me off, but I felt so happy that I was finally back in England and that I was seeing my mum for the first time in weeks that it didn't really matter to me.

"That's alright, mum, I'm sure we'll be fine, right Ems?" Emily nodded at me and smiled as we finally reached the stairs to get down to the tube. We obviously weren't going to be able to take down all the bags at once as Emily and I had two bags each. We decided that my mum and I would do the first set of bags while Emily waited at the top of the stairs with the other two. I left my mum at the bottom of the stairs with the two bags we'd already carried down and went back up to get another bag, and Emily carried down another one.

Mum had already taken off the baggage tags from the two bags she was guarding, and told Emily and I to do the same, muttering something about dodgy people being on the tube this late at night.

We got on the tube a few minutes later, having the car completely to ourselves. Emily and I told mum all about everything that happened in Paris, told her all about Euro Disney and the suitcase fort we built and the officers who asked us to stop smoking in the train station. It all seemed hilarious now that we were finally home.

We got to Paddington and walked around the streets as my mum tried to remember where the B&B she booked for us was. After a while of searching the street lamp lit streets, we found it and dropped our bags off in our rooms – one for Emily and I, and one for my mum. We went back out to explore a bit and found a chippie.

"Jesus, Ems, that haddock was the size of your face, you must've been hungry," I commented as Emily hit my shoulder playfully and ate the rest of her chips.

"Well from what I've heard you two have been surviving on cigarettes and wine for the past two days. I'm not surprised she's hungry!" My mum commented. Emily smiled at her as my mum grabbed her and hugged her. "I'm so happy you two are finally home. Emily, you live in Bristol as well, right?"

Emily nodded and my mum almost squealed in delight before enthusing about us all taking the train back to Bristol tomorrow and how Emily could come round for Christmas dinner. Emily smiled at her and shot me an amused look and smiled brightly at me as well.

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><p>"Bloody hell, I think I ate too much," Emily said, flopping down onto our queen sized bed as I washed my face and brushed my teeth.<p>

"Aw, Emsie, do you have a tummy ache?" I said as I walked out of the bathroom and flopped onto the bed next to her as she nodded and groaned. I lifted up her pyjama top and kissed her stomach before rubbing it gently. She closed her eyes and threaded her fingers through my hair, pulling at it gently and twirling it through her fingers.

"Thank you, Naomi," she whispered quietly. I leaned up above her and stared down into her deep brown eyes. "For everything," she added. "I really wouldn't have been able to do any of this without you."

She leaned up and kissed me gently, her lips soft and gentle against mine as her tongue ran against my bottom lip. Our tongues met and she moaned softly against my lips as her fingers pulled slightly more aggressively at my hair. We let the kiss die down and eventually we were just kissing each other chastely before she sighed. I opened my eyes and broke our lips apart, looking into her eyes and saw pure contentment. She smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

I rested my head on her shoulder and cuddled into her side as she traced patterns into my hip.

"Goodnight, Naoms," she whispered before kissing my hair and pulling the covers over us.

"Goodnight, Ems."

The sound of her heartbeat lulled me to sleep, thoughts of trains and Bristol and Emily and home dancing before my eyes.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	9. Four Days of Emily Fitch

Hello everybody! I'm so sorry I've been MIA the past week and a half - I have no excuse other than getting run down from uni and work! I felt pretty uninspired for a while so that didn't help on the writing front, but after this I am back on my regular updating schedule (Wednesdays and Fridays) meaning you should get another update tomorrow! Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews, and I promise I will get around to replying to them all (eventually)!

And again I don't own Skins or the characters but the story is based on true events.

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><p><span>Chapter 9: Four Days of Emily Fitch<span>

We woke up early the next morning at around 6 am so we could gather our things and get ready for the day before getting to the train station with all our bags to catch our 7:15 train. Of course, we ended up running a little bit late as we tried to navigate the narrow stairway of the B&B with all our bags and we ended up getting to the platform just as the train started to pull away.

"That's alright," mum smiled at us and pointed behind her towards a small cafe. "I fancy a cup of tea and a bacon butty anyway."

Emily smiled and nodded before linking arms with my mum. "Gina, I like the way you think," she said as she and my mum walked off towards the cafe. I rolled my eyes and followed them, slightly annoyed that we'd missed the train even though I was also dying for a cup of tea and some breakfast.

The B&B we stayed in was nice and I slept well next to Emily but I still hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in quite a few days now – I could only sleep properly in my own bed and something about hotel linens always creeped me out a bit. I was getting a bit grumpy and I was dying to finally get home as I wasn't all too fond of London and its busy city life. I much preferred Bristol where you could still get the feel of living in a city but know that you were only an hour's drive from the beautiful countryside.

My mum went up and bought us all tea and bacon butties as Emily and I found a cozy spot next to a fireplace for us all. The sandwich and tea hit the spot perfectly and as soon as we were done the next train was just arriving on the platform. We boarded the train and made sure we were all sitting together. As soon as I sat down on that train I felt relief wash over me. This was it – the last step before arriving in Bristol and being home.

After being in Toronto for two weeks and getting used to their transit systems I had to say that I much preferred England's. There was just something about taking a train in England, maybe it had to do with seeing the snow-topped houses and watching houses that were hundreds of years old pass by and just feeling the centuries worth of history that was in this country. Toronto was beautiful of course but nothing would ever compare to England.

I felt a bit tense now that we were going home, only because it suddenly dawned on me that I didn't know when I'd see Emily next. I didn't even have her phone number! Anxiety crept up within me – if she'd wanted to give me her phone number, surely she would have by now, right?

No, I couldn't let myself think like that. Obviously what Emily and I shared was real, obviously she wants to give me her phone number, she just hasn't needed to since we haven't left each other's sides for the past few days. I knew I was falling into a typical Naomi trap – trying to push people away by doubting their feelings for me and feeling the urge to protect myself from them. I couldn't do that anymore. Not with Emily. She'd already let me see so much of her, let me sleep in the same bed as her. I couldn't doubt her.

Just as I'd thought that, Emily leaned over and rested her head against my shoulder. She grabbed my arm and placed it gently over her shoulder before kissing my collarbone. "I'm really going to miss seeing you every day, Naoms," she whispered against the thick material of my jumper. I sighed and squeezed her tightly into me.

"Me too, Ems," I replied before dropping a kiss onto her hair.

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><p>Before I knew it, we were pulling into the train station in Bristol and unloading all our suitcases from the train. Emily and I walked together holding hands and my mum walked ahead of us. I noticed Emily's sister Katie right away. They were obviously identical, but Katie had a rounder face and seemed to be slightly taller than Emily. Katie smiled brightly at her sister and started waving her arms about in hopes of getting Emily's attention. I nudged Emily, trying to draw her attention away from her feet and towards her sister. She smiled when she saw Katie and let go of my hand to hug her sister.<p>

"I was so worried about you, Emsy. I thought you were going to find a hot French lesbian and never come back to Bristol!" Katie said as she ruffled her sister's hair. Emily blushed and looked back at me.

Katie turned to me and looked me up and down, obviously trying to figure out if I was good enough for her sister. She smiled slightly, and held out her hand. "I'm Katie, Emily's sister," she said, her voice more restrained and her lisp more pronounced. I smiled back at her.

"I'm Naomi, Emily's err... person she got stuck in France with," I replied. Emily snorted at my awkwardness and tried to hide her laugh by covering her mouth. Katie smiled at me and thanked me for taking care of her sister. She grabbed Emily's bags and whispered something to her before walking towards the car park.

Emily turned to me, sad puppy eyes looking up at me and pouting slightly. "I really don't want to say goodbye," she said as she walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. She pulled away slightly and reached into my pocket, where she knew I kept my mobile and punched in her contact information. "Let's all get together for drinks soon, yeah? Your friends, my friends, us. We'll make a night out of it."

I nodded at her and looked down as she slipped my mobile back into my pocket. She wrapped her arms around my neck and threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck before pulling me down towards her lips. The kiss was slightly more frantic and longing than our others, her lips kissing me harder than usual. She pulled back slightly before kissing me chastely a dozen more times before pulling away. When she looked back up at me her eyes looked sad. She squeezed my hand, her own little way of saying 'I'm going to miss you, you better call me, I need you'.

She turned and walked to the car park where Katie was waiting for her as I stood there in amazement watching her go. It killed me to see her walking away like that, and I already missed her immensely. All I wanted was to run after her and ask her to get stuck in France with me again and again and again, but I couldn't. This was what real life was like. This was what our relationship had to become now. We couldn't just climb into bed together at the end the day, and suddenly that seemed really confusing to me. The thought of going back to an empty apartment was upsetting.

That's the funny thing about loneliness. You never really realize just how lonely you are until someone comes into your life and shows you how great it can be to have someone with you all the time, to rely on someone, and that it's okay that you have to have that person near you. That's what Emily did to me. And now I wasn't so sure that I'd be alright with living my life without seeing her all the time, or at least very often.

Four days did that to me. Four days of Emily Fitch turned my world upside down. Part of me couldn't have been happier; another part of me was wondering why my heart hurt so badly as I watched her leave.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	10. Effy

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for continuing to read and review this story! I'm updating a bit earlier than usual this week as I suspect I will be dead on my feet tired tomorrow - sorry I couldn't update last week on Friday as I'd said, things came up last minute and I couldn't get out of them. Anyways, enough rambling, hope you enjoy the chapter!

Oh and as usual I don't own Skins or the characters but this story is based on true events.

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><p><span>Chapter 10: Effy<span>

I walked into my apartment, feeling rather lonesome after Gina dropped me off and hugged me and helped me with my bags. I set my bags down in my bedroom and went to turn the kettle on to make some tea. I'd texted Effy on the drive from the train station back here and let her know that I was going to be at home and that she was welcome to come over. I'd expected her to say that she was busy but she didn't and was apparently already on her way.

Effy was my best friend and had been since college. I think the reason I liked her was because she never really said much but could speak volumes within one sentence. She knew me in and out, and I'd grown to know her just as well. When I first met her she was wild and essentially afraid of herself. We were actually quite alike – Effy was trying to come to terms with what love meant to her, and I was just starting to realize that I liked girls. Effy and I fucked the pain away (not together, obviously), did drugs, got drunk, made messes of our lives really. When Effy finally started to calm down and accepted that she was in love, it sent me even more off the rails. Effy's relationship with Freddie showed me what I was missing out on. What a normal relationship with a guy could have been like. I'd felt as though a part of my life, a potential path I could have taken was taken away from me when I realized I was a lesbian. I suppose you could say I went into a period of mourning. Mourning the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a life that society deemed acceptable that I was now never going to have.

But Effy was having none of it. I'd confided in her and told her about my suspicions that I was gay. As she watched me heading deeper into my downward spiral, she began to plan her method of attack.

And that method of attack was to take me to an acid party and make out with me. She was the first girl I'd kissed, which sounds weird but in a way it felt right. Effy was also my first real friend, so why shouldn't she have been the first girl I kissed?

I knew from that moment on that I wasn't missing out on anything. I'd kissed boys before, I'd had relationships with boys before, I'd had loads of sex with boys before, and when I was in those relationships it was when I felt like I was missing something. I'd never felt complete with a boy. When Effy kissed me, something clicked. It was dangerous, really. I could have easily developed feelings for Effy after that, I'd already cared about her so much. But I knew that it wasn't about the kiss really, it was about acceptance. Effy showed me just how much she accepted me no matter what I was by kissing me. And if Effy could do that for me then I owed it to myself to accept who I was.

Effy'd managed to combine my past self and my real self by kissing me at that acid party. And I learned that who I wanted to be and who I was weren't as different as I'd once thought. The acid helped with that realization.

Now Effy and I had both settled down in our own ways. Effy and Freddie lived together in a two bedroom flat a few blocks away from my flat. Freddie was a freelance photographer and Effy styled the models for his shoots. Of course this meant that most of Freddie's models ended up looking like grunged out hookers, but it suited his photos. I ended up working as a political journalist for a small online newspaper. The pay wasn't great but I got to work from home and they occasionally sent me to different countries experiencing some kind of political issues or revolts.

I heard the front door open as I was pulling out some mugs and tea bags from the cabinet.

"Eff?" I called out as I heard light footsteps behind me. She jumped onto my back, making me slightly off-balance, but Effy was so small and light that it didn't really affect me. She wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders and buried her face into my neck.

"I missed you so much Naomi!" She said as she hopped off my back. I turned around to face her and hugged her tightly.

"I missed you too, Eff," I said as she smiled up at me. The kettle boiled and Effy went to go sit at my small table as I started to make our tea.

"So how was France?" She asked with a knowing smile as I set her cup of tea in front of her. I blushed.

"I guess mum told you about Emily, then," I said as she smiled and nodded. "Well, France was great, but only because she was with me."

Effy aww'd and told me that I'd gone soft. I simply shrugged. I changed the subject and asked her about Freddie and her mum and brother, all the usual things we'd talk about to break the tension. I could feel Effy slowly trying to steer the conversation back to Emily, and I'm not quite sure that I was ready to talk about her yet. I was already missing her enough without talking about her. To be honest I wasn't even sure that I'd be able to sleep properly tonight without her.

As soon as Effy had basically told me to cut the shit and tell her a bit about Emily I knew there wasn't really any escaping it.

"Well she has red hair and has a twin and she's small and has a husky voice and I really like her and I miss her a lot and I'm worried that we'll drift apart and nothing that happened in France will matter and it will all turn into a story I can tell my grandkids one day."

Effy's eyes widened and she took another sip of her tea.

"I really want you to meet her, Eff. I think you'd like her. She said we should organize a pub night with all our mates some time before Christmas, so if she ever phones me and we manage to arrange it will you come?" Effy nodded her head and continued staring at me, almost as though she knew I had more to say.

"I don't want to sleep without her tonight, Eff," I said, so quietly I barely heard it myself. I looked down at my hands and watched as Effy reached out towards me and squeezed my hands gently.

I looked up at her as she smiled knowingly at me. "You'll be fine, Naomi," she reassured me.

I wasn't quite sure what exactly was going to end up being "fine", but for some reason I believed her.

Effy pulled out her pack of cigarettes and offered me one before lighting one for herself.

"You said Emily has red hair?" She asked with a slight frown on her face. I nodded.

"And lives in Bristol?" I nodded again.

"Hmm," she said cryptically. I didn't bother to ask her what she meant. Effy always clarified things when she felt the time was right, and now obviously wasn't the right time for her.

She smiled brightly at me and nodded to herself. "You'll be just fine," she said with yet another nod.

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><p>Thanks so much for reading! Please don't forget to leave me a review and let me know what you thought of cryptic Effy!<p> 


	11. Finality

Hello everybody! Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews and feedback you've been giving me, and thank you so much for continuing to read this. Updates may be a bit sporadic from now until November-ish really, since I've got quite a lot of essays and assignments and tests coming up and that has to be my priority.

This chapter has a little bit of everything - cute stuff, sad stuff, sentimental stuff, gushy stuff. Little bit of Emily, little bit of Effy, even a teeny tiny bit of Freddie, and a Christmas tree.

I don't own Skins or the characters, but this story is based on true events.

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><p><span>Chapter 11: Finality<span>

As I'd predicted, later that night I lay in bed unable to fall asleep because Emily wasn't next to me. It was almost two in the morning and calling her just to hear her voice would have been a bit ridiculous but I was desperate. I'd even tried to lay pillows down next to me that were roughly her size but it made no difference.

Emily Fitch was my crack and I was going through withdrawals.

My cell phone started to ring, vibrating my whole nightstand. I picked it up and checked the caller ID – Emily.

"Hello?" I sounded far too excited.

"Naomi, I can't sleep," she said, sounding tired and exasperating.

"I can't either," I said, trying to hide the smile that was currently taking over my face from showing up in my words. "I miss you, darling."

"I miss you too. I tried sleeping next to some pillows so that it would be like I was sleeping next to you and I still couldn't fall asleep," she said, making me laugh.

"I did the same thing."

She sighed. "What are we gonna do?"

"I dunno. Maybe we could try talking to each other until we both fall asleep?"

Emily agreed, both of us obviously not wanting to admit that we were a bit too attached to each other for our own good. And thus, Emily and I ended up talking about chocolate for an hour before finally dozing off. I didn't sleep anywhere near as well as I do when I sleep next to Emily, but every once in a while I'd hear her snoring while I slept and it made me feel comfortable. Horribly pathetic, but comfortable.

The next morning, I woke up next to a dead mobile. Of course I'd expected it, and was a bit grateful for it since I had some last minute editing to do on my Toronto article before submitting it to my boss later that day. It was my last article due before the holidays, and since I'd finished it up by half past two, I decided to head into town and get some last minute shopping done for Christmas. It was only a few days away now and I still hadn't even bought my tree yet.

It was the first year I was going to have my own tree, and I'd bought all the ornaments and tree toppers while I was in Canada at a shop that only sells Christmas decorations all year long. I thought that was a bit odd – people could just pop in there in July to pick up some tinsel if they needed. But regardless, it was nice to go in there around Christmas and find so many cute little things to buy.

I ended up running into Effy and Freddie at the Christmas tree lot, and convinced Eff to come over and help me decorate my tree. I invited Freddie as well but he had some last minute photo editing to do before his deadline tomorrow, which I understood all too well. I promised him that I'd take good care of Effy and try to cook her some dinner.

From the second I saw Eff at the lot, I knew something was wrong. I'd only just seen her yesterday but something had already changed and made her upset. In a way, I was glad that Freddie couldn't come that afternoon. I needed to figure out what was going on with Eff.

"Spill it," I said, getting straight to the point the second I shut the door to my apartment.

And then Effy started crying.

"I'm late!" She sobbed, burying her face in her hands as I pulled her against me and held her tightly. I'd never seen Effy so emotional; fuck I couldn't even remember the last time I'd seen her cry.

I have to explain the reason behind what I said next. I know that every girl should automatically know what "I'm late" means but, what with being a lesbian, it's been a very long time since I've had to worry about that sort of thing. So I stupidly assumed she had missed her own deadline of some sort.

"Eff, it's alright to miss a deadline every once in a while," I said, shushing her and running my hands through her hair in an effort to comfort her.

She looked up at me completely dumbstruck, tears still fresh in her eyes.

"Naomi, I know it's been a really long time since you've been near a dick, so I'm not going to hold this against you, you fucking idiot. I don't mean I missed a fucking deadline, I mean I'm 10 days late for my period!"

You know those moments in your life where you feel everything change and all you can do is completely blank out and stare? You aren't even staring at anything in particular, you're just staring, maybe even with your mouth hanging open. Maybe you stand there for only a few seconds, maybe you stand there for a few minutes, but regardless, you know everything in your life has just changed and god damn it respect must be paid.

"I need to sit down," I said, staring down at Effy in complete shock, acting as though I was the one who could be pregnant. She took my hand gently and guided me towards the couch before sitting down next to me and staring at the wall as I was currently doing.

In a way, it was kind of like I'd just found out I was pregnant. I didn't even know for sure if Effy was pregnant, but fuck, I felt everything she felt. She was like a sister to me, even closer than that. She must have been scared because I was definitely scared. I snapped out of it and grabbed her hand tightly.

"We need to go to Asda's and get some tests," I said quietly, worried that bringing up the word "test" would freak Effy out. Tests made it all final. If she wasn't pregnant, well hooray. If she was pregnant, well god only knows what would happen. Effy was nowhere near ready to be a mum. Effy didn't even really want to be a mum. She was only 24 and while she and Freddie made end's meet, they only barely did that. There was no way they could support a baby.

"Naoms," she said quietly, staring at me until I looked at her and saw just how sure she was of whatever she was going to say next. "If I am...pregnant," she said, barely able to get the word out. "I want an abortion."

Her eyes were sad and pleading so I squeezed her hand tightly.

"I'll always be there for you and accept any decision you make, Eff," I hugged her close to me. She'd done exactly that for me, and I had to do the same for her. I may not have understood why she'd want an abortion, I may not have understood how she even managed to get pregnant since she'd always been on birth control and took other precautions as well.

But I understood that she needed me, and I'd be there for her. Always.

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><p>I promise, Effy will explain more in the next chapter and will give reasons why she's chosen... well, what she's chosen.<p>

Thank you for reading and please let me know what you thought in a review :)


	12. The Results

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for continuing to read, review, and add this story to your favourites - your encouragement makes writing a lot easier!

Oh, and to the one person who left a review saying that my story was full of "typical boring Naomily scenarios" I'd just like to say thank you for thinking that my life is full of typical boring Naomily scenarios, seeing as this story is inspired by things that actually happened to me.

I'm perfectly fine with constructive criticism - in fact, I welcome it! But if you're going to say something that doesn't really apply to the work, then I don't see what the point is...

All the rest of you have been positively wonderful and lovely and I want to thank you all for the positivity and encouragement you've given me :)

And as usual, I do not own these characters or have anything to do with Skins, **_but this story is inspired by real events that have taken place in my life_** (just in case anybody gets confused lol)

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><p><span>Chapter 12: The Results<span>

About two days after I found out about Effy, I dragged her off to a clinic since she refused to take an at home test. Freddie had been bothering me, telling me that Eff had been acting weird and to talk to her. Freddie was used to Effy being a little off, but even I hadn't seen her this emotional before.

She was silent the whole drive to the clinic and refused to talk to me once we pulled into the parking lot. It was a miracle I'd even managed to get her in the car, really.

We walked into the clinic next to each other but not saying a single word. I walked up to the receptionist's desk as Effy walked towards the waiting room.

"Elizabeth Stonem is here for her 10:30 appointment," I said, looking over my shoulder as I heard Effy chuckle before saying hello to someone. The receptionist nodded and told me they were running a bit behind. Great. That just gave Effy even more of a chance to run out of this bloody clinic.

I walked into the waiting area as I searched for my cell phone in my huge bag. I wanted to text Emily to let her know I might be a bit late for lunch – yes, we had a lunch date – but a husky voice stopped me.

"Naomi?"

I looked up and caught shocked brown eyes staring at me. Actually, make that a pair of shocked brown eyes. I cleared my throat awkwardly and placed by bag down on the chair next to Effy, who was smiling devilishly and flipping through a magazine.

"Emily," I said as I walked over to kiss her on the cheek and hug her. I smiled at Katie and nodded at her as she did the same.

"Well..." Katie said awkwardly. "Did my sister knock you up, then, Naomi?"

Effy snorted and then laughed so hard I was sure the people two blocks down the street could hear her. My eyebrows went up so far I was quite sure they were almost at my hairline, and Emily buried her face in her hands in mortification.

I cleared my throat awkwardly as Katie smiled at the ruckus she caused. "No, Katie," I said as Effy continued to laugh her ass off. "I'm not pregnant."

Katie nodded and looked at Effy, who nodded solemnly. Katie nodded herself as Emily and I looked on in wonderment.

"So, you two know each other then?" I asked, pointing between Effy and Katie. They both nodded, though Katie quickly started reading her magazine again and I caught Effy blushing.

"Yeah, Katie and I work with Eff and Freds quite a lot," Emily said, finally looking up at me. My brows furrowed in confusion.

"Katie and I are make up artists," she said, noticing my confusion. I nodded as silence descended upon us and made everything awkward.

"So, Katie, you up the duff then?" Effy asked as Katie looked up briefly and laughed. She shook her head, still smiling.

"No, I...it's a long story," she said, as an upset look crossed her face before she went back to reading her magazine. I shot Effy a warning look as I saw her going to speak again. Obviously whatever Katie was going through was both personal and quite upsetting for her.

"Katie Fitch," the nurse called, walking into the room with a folder that had Katie's name written on the front of it. Katie got up and shot a worried look at Ems before she went to follow the nurse. Emily followed them both.

"Elizabeth Stonem," a second nurse called as Effy and I got up and followed after her. Effy grabbed my hand tightly as we walked into the exam room, and I squeezed back as tightly as I could.

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><p>"Well, this test here shows up as negative, but your hormones seem to be acting up quite a bit," the doctor said as he scowled over Effy's folder. "I'll need to run more blood work to find out what's happening, just to be sure, but..."<p>

He looked up at us both, Effy smiling broadly at the news that she isn't pregnant, though I obviously look a bit more concerned. I knew that more tests usually meant something was up. The doctor took off his reading glasses and looked at Effy gravely.

"Elizabeth, from what I can see here, your hormone levels are indicative of early onset menopause."

Effy's smile fell.

"So she can't have children...ever?" I asked as Effy grabbed my hand for the second time that day.

"Yes, it seems that way," the doctor said. "There's nothing we can do."

"Could you freeze some of her eggs or something?" I asked. The doctor shook his head and passed us a box of tissues before getting up.

"I'm very sorry," he said just before leaving the room.

Effy took the box of tissues out of my hands. I saw her knuckles turn white from gripping it so tightly. Before I could even register what was happening, she let out a scream and tore the box to shreds, knocked every jar full of medical supplies off the doctor's desk, and flipped the chair she'd been sitting in before collapsing on the floor and sobbing.

A nurse walked in and looked around the room and at Effy sitting on the ground as I knelt down beside her and tried to comfort her. The nurse shook her head and shot Effy a dirty look before leaving.

"Eff, come on, it'll be alright," I cooed as she grabbed my shirt tightly and pulled me even closer to her.

"Freds is gonna leave me!" She sobbed as I tried to get her to stand up. "He wants...three kids!"

I shushed her and gave up on trying to get her to stand up. We sat there on the floor as Eff sobbed and I rocked her back and forth and tried to soothe her.

I saw Katie and Emily walk by, Katie with mascara running down her face and Emily holding her hand. They looked into the room, alarmed by the sound of Effy's wailing. Katie immediately stopped crying and walked in, got down on the ground behind Effy, and hugged her tightly. Effy calmed down quite a bit after that, and we all managed to get her out of the clinic and into my car. Katie kissed Eff on the forehead as she buckled her seatbelt for her and shut the car door. She smiled at me as best as she could before walking towards Emily's car a few parking spots away.

Emily looked up at me and I noticed how upset she looked as well. "We should probably reschedule lunch," I said absentmindedly as she walked towards me and hugged me. She kissed me gently and nodded before pulling away and walking towards her car.

"Take care of her," she called over her shoulder as I nodded.

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><p>I'd never seen Eff act like that before. Never. Not even a few years back when Freds cheated on her. Not even when we were partying away the pain together. Not even when she first thought she was pregnant. Not even when her brother got hit by that bus or when her parents broke up or when her mum left her alone for months.<p>

And then I thought back to her reaction when I asked her if she knew Katie and she blushed. And how Katie was the one who really calmed her down just by hugging her.

I almost crashed into a lamp post I was so stunned by my sudden realization.

_Effy and Katie._

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><p>Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought :)<p> 


	13. Christmas Eve

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for continuing to read and review this story. I'm a bit swamped with work at the moment so your next update probably won't be until sometime next week when things quiet down a bit.

And as usual I don't have anything to do with Skins or own the characters but this story is inspired by true events.

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><p><em>Chapter 13:Christmas Eve<em>

It was three days after Effy's appointment at the clinic, which meant that it was three days since Effy decided not to go back to her flat and has decided to stay with me, seemingly forever. She refused to move from my couch and watched TV all day while cuddled up in a blanket with a box of tissues next to her. Freddie would come to visit her every day and try to comfort her but it was no use. She told him right away about her early onset menopause and I could tell it upset him. But he seemed sure of one thing only – he loved Effy and to him that was all that mattered. Effy was never very responsive when he would come round and even though I felt bad for him, I still felt worse for Effy.

But today was Christmas Eve and I'd had enough of it – Effy had to make a decision about where her life was headed from here. She couldn't just stay in limbo on my couch for the rest of her life.

I tried to question her about what happened between her and Katie but she'd never really answer me. From what I'd deduced just by talking to Emily and comparing stories, they'd slept together at the very least, although the time of said hook up was still unknown. I had a feeling that Effy was no longer simply trying to deal with not being able to have children. She was at yet another crossroads, something that I was far too familiar with. The last time Effy was at a crossroads, I was there with her and we all know how that ended up. She couldn't go back to the place where she was partying all the time and sleeping around. It wasn't her anymore.

Now her decision seemed firmly rooted in love, the only divide being who she truly wanted to be with...who would make her the happiest.

"Effy, are you going to get dressed today?" I asked as I handed her a cup of tea. She smiled and tilted her head at me.

"Maybe," she responded just before taking a sip.

"Well, maybe after you get dressed you could figure out if you still want Freddie or if you want Katie and then, you know, sort your life out?"

Effy's eyes darted quickly up to mine, revealing her shock.

"What? No, Katie and I-"

"The truth, Eff."

She sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"She's just something that happened before I admitted to myself that I loved Freddie, okay? Nothing big, nothing to want. We work together...with Freddie! There's nothing going on between us anymore. She's just a friend."

I smirked. "Effy, I'd have believed you if you just told me she was only a friend. But now, I definitely don't believe you. I think that was the longest explanation you've ever given me."

Her face fell and she sighed again before moving to the opposite end of the couch since I was blocking the TV and she couldn't see from where she had been sitting before.

"Effy, it's Christmas Eve. We were all going to go out tonight and have a good time, remember? I know that this is difficult for you, really, I get that. But you have to remember that life goes on. If someday you decide you want to have a baby, you can. And if you decide you want to be with Katie, then so be it. You know I'll be there for you no matter what."

She continued to pretend to ignore me and watch the TV, but on some level I knew I'd gotten through to her.

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><p>It wasn't until later that evening that Effy finally decided to get off the couch, after I'd taken the turkey out of the freezer to defrost and prepared tomorrow's dessert and was now getting ready to go out with Emily and all her friends as well as all my friends.<p>

"I think I'm going to come out with you tonight," she said in a quiet voice as she leaned against my bedroom doorframe.

"Sure, Eff, Freddie brought over some clothes for you and left them over there," I said as I pointed to my armchair, resisting the urge to squeal and jump for joy that Effy was now mobile and wanted to leave the flat.

She went into the bathroom and showered and got herself ready as I finished up fixing my hair, and before I knew it Effy was putting on a t-shirt that she called a dress and fishnets and smudging black eyeliner around her eyes.

I normally didn't like that she looked like a streetwalker, but right now I was so happy she got off the couch I could almost cry.

Emily showed up at my door about fifteen minutes later, and my god she looked amazing. She was wearing a skin-tight black dress with long sleeves and a high neckline, but a completely revealed back. I'd never really noticed how toned her body was before, but now with it on display so boldly I couldn't _not_ notice.

"Wow, Ems," I said, my voice huskier than usual. "You look...wow."

She smiled at me and eyed me up before winking at me. "You clean up nice yourself, Naoms." She leaned in towards me, her lips tantalizingly close, just centimetres away.

"This is lovely and all but I'd really like to get going sometime today," Effy interrupted, standing coolly against the wall just behind me, effectively scaring the crap out of Emily and I.

"Oh, hello, Effy, didn't see you there," Emily said, diverting her eyes as her face reddened.

"Yes, Effy has finally decided to get off my couch and get dressed and come out with us tonight," I huffed. It was probably a bit too harsh but Effy smiled genuinely at me as she handed me the keys to the flat.

"I owe you a drink...or three," Effy said with a smile as she slinked past me and squeezed my hand, obviously trying to demonstrate her gratitude towards me. I smiled as I watched her walk down the hall, and when I looked back at Emily I noticed that she was doing the same thing.

"She's really something else," she mused. I laughed and nodded before locking my front door.

"Yes, she is," I said as I grabbed Emily's hand and drew her attention back to me. "But tonight I'm going to be selfish. It's all about us. Our friends coming together, us getting together and all of us celebrating. Tonight is not about Effy or Freddie or Katie. Just us."

She smiled up at me and nodded before kissing me, her lips soft against mine. Her tongue ran gently along my bottom lip, asking for access which I quickly granted. Our tongues met and my god I'd forgotten how good she tastes -

She pulled away from me and smiled. "That kiss will have to wait till later." She winked at me and sauntered off down the hallway.

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><p>Thanks so much for reading - next chapter will be the pub with everyone! Please let me know what you thought :)<p> 


	14. The Pub

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for continuing to read and review this story. Sorry it's been a while since my last update - things got a bit crazy with uni but I'm finally finished... at least for a little while!

As usual, I don't own or have anything to do with Skins but this story is based on real events.

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><p><span>Chapter 14: The Pub<span>

One way I'd never expected to spend my Christmas Eve was listening to JJ's stepson cry his heart out in the middle of a crowded pub. Baby Albert wasn't really a baby anymore, and seemed to have turned into Terrible-Two's Albert.

"Jesus Christ, JJ, it feels like I've got a hangover already what with the headache Albie's giving me!" I huffed as JJ handed Albert to Effy, who stared at Albie in complete shock.

"Err, JJ, I don't-"

"You'll be fine, Effy, let me get us all around, eh! Albie likes you, I'm sure he'll calm down in a minute!" JJ interrupted Effy as she continued to stare at Albie in shock. He'd stopped crying and actually started staring back at her before reaching out and tugging on her hair. Effy yelped but smiled at Albie and pinched his cheeks. I could tell Effy wasn't as comfortable as she normally was with Albie, but her slight smile as she blew raspberries on his neck was an improvement from the moping around I'd seen the past few days. Albie giggled and Emily smiled to herself and began to rub his back gently from where she was sitting between Effy and I.

"Here, Naomi, I need to go to the bathroom," Effy said as she passed Albie over Emily to me. I stood him up on my knees as he pulled on my earrings and giggled to himself.

"Quite the night out, eh Ems?" I said as Albie managed to pull my earring out and started to laugh hysterically at it. Emily smiled and took my earring away from Albie, making him pout. She kissed his pout away and tickled him.

Panda and Thommo were on the dance floor, Pandora scaring off a bunch of other dancers with her crazy dance moves. Thommo was desperately trying to keep up with Pandora, and had already shot me a few worried looks as he noticed Pandora was nowhere close to slowing things down.

Turns out that Emily and I ended up inviting the same people to the pub – funny how we knew all the same people and only ended up meeting in France! Emily knew Panda and Thommo through Effy, Katie knew Cook through Freddie, and Emily knew JJ through Freddie.

"GINA!" Cook bellowed out from his spot next to me as my mum and Kieran walked in the pub. I buried my face in Albie's thick winter jacket as Emily laughed at my antics.

"What on earth is she doing here?" I mumbled as Emily rubbed my back gently as she'd been doing to Albie a few minutes ago. "I've barely even gotten a pint in, I'm not drunk enough to deal with her holiday cheer just yet!"

"Emily, love, how are you? Hello, Naomi darling, yes I see you there hiding behind Albie!" My mum said as she walked over and sat next to Emily and gave her a hug. Kieran stood awkwardly at the end of the table while Cook leaned over myself, Albie and Emily to hug my mum and shake Kieran's hand.

"Gina, will you join us in a pint or four for Christmas? I'd offer you a mint Baileys but I don't know if Keith's got anything that fancy," Cook said with a smile as I downed the rest of my own pint and passed Albie to Emily.

"I don't think I will, Cookie. I've been drinking all day... I'm drunk now, truth be told!" My mum said as Effy walked back to the table and high-fived her. Cook cheered.

"My mum, ladies and gentlemen!" I said proudly as Kieran rolled his eyes and kissed her on the cheek. Mum stood up and bowed, stumbling a little.

"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week if you want to supply me with more alcohol!" She said with a smile as she shooed Kieran off to the bar. "C'mon Kieran, these young kids don't want us old farts hanging around. See you tomorrow, Naomi, love. And I hope to see you too, Emily! And you too Eff!"

My friends all waved at my mum, as Katie walked back to the table from the dance floor.

"Panda almost took my bloody eye out!" She huffed as she sat down and stole a pint from JJ's tray that he'd just brought back from the bar.

"Yeah, you gotta watch for that one," Eff said as she took a pint from JJ's tray and passed it to me before taking one for herself. "She's got right pointy elbows, and when she really gets into it she seems to lose control of them."

Katie nodded and smiled at Eff. Emily continued bouncing Albie on her lap until JJ sat down next to her and took him off her.

About an hour later, absolutely everybody had showed up. Freddie and Lara had shown up late, Freddie citing last-minute Christmas shopping as his excuse, and Lara saying she'd just finished hiding away all of Albie's pressies. Apparently if she were to leave them under the tree he'd open them as soon as they got home tonight.

But only a few minutes after Lara showed up, Albie fell asleep and they both decided it was best to leave. Thommo and Panda were next to go, saying they had to get the place ready for both their mums who were coming for Christmas dinner tomorrow. Eventually Kieran steered my mum out of the pub as well, sending me a smile and rolling his eyes before leaving.

Effy smiled at us mischievously before winking at Cook. "Looks like it's just us, kids," she said. Cook smiled, Freddie buried his face in his hands, and Emily and Katie looked at us questioningly.

But I knew what was coming.

"TEQUILAAA!"

And thanks to Cook and tequila, before I could fully comprehend what was happening, I found myself on the dance floor with Emily, who was also as smashed as I was. We were breaking out disco moves that I didn't even realize I knew, dancing to ABBA as Katie drunkenly danced with Cook and Effy swayed along by herself as Freddie'd gone home long ago.

"You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only SEVENTEEEEEENN OOOOH OOOHH!" Katie bellowed as Cook was trying to feel her up. Emily was laughing so hard she was bent over and grabbing her stomach...though whether she was laughing at my dancing or Katie's singing I'm not quite sure.

"Keith, change this fucking song man! Emily's gonna die in a minute if she doesn't stop laughing!" I called out as Keith nodded his head.

_Oh no,_ I thought as I heard the steady beat of Closer by Nine Inch Nails. "Bit sinful for Christmas Eve, don't you think, Keith?" I said as Emily pulled me close to her and wrapped her arms around my waist. Cook was already doing the same to Katie.

Emily's hands wandered as the lyrics broke out, getting mere centimetres away from my breasts, working me up, reminding me of our unfinished kiss. She started huskily singing the lyrics in my ear, her breath hot on my neck, her hands everywhere, her breasts pressed up against my back, her teeth nipping and biting at my neck... talk about sensory overload.

"Naoms," Emily husked before fully grabbing my breast and kissing my neck. "Let's go home. I wanna violate you."

I sent Effy our 'I've got to go shag this person' look – to which she smiled knowingly – before grabbing Emily's hand tightly and leading her out of the pub more quickly than I'd ever managed to walk before.

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><p>Thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked the chapter - please let me know what you thought in a review :)<p> 


	15. Merry Christmas

Hello everybody! Sorry I've been a bit MIA lately but work piled up and that took priority. This chapter is really not safe for work/not safe for children/not safe for your great aunt margaret/not safe for anyone who might get offended by lots of sexy time. And not safe for anyone who doesn't like Christmas.

And as usual I don't own or have anything to do with skins but this is based on true events.

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><p><span>Chapter 15: Merry Christmas<span>

Emily shoved me back against the front door of my flat as soon as we walked in, maybe a little too forcefully, though I assure you I was _not _complaining. She'd worked me up the whole cab ride, her hands roaming up my skirt and moving dangerously close to my panties. I needed Emily and I needed her _now._

"Fuck, Ems," I moaned as she pressed herself up against me and sucked on my neck just below my ear. I could hear her heavy breathing, feel it on my neck, feel her breasts pressed up against mine, her hands pushing my dress up and exploring my body freely. She pushed herself away from the wall and grabbed hold of my hips, pulling me with her towards my bedroom, where she pushed me onto the bed and smiled devilishly before climbing on top of me. I was sitting up on the bed, my arms supporting my body weight as she straddled me and wrapped her arms around me

"Merry Christmas, Naomi," she husked just before unzipping and taking off my dress. She leaned forward and kissed me forcefully before reaching behind herself and unzipping her own dress, which I dutifully removed as quickly as possible.

She pushed me back onto the bed so I was lying on my back and removed her lips from mine before heading for my pulse point, then my collarbone and then descending to my breasts. My breathing was growing so erratic I was almost convinced I'd pass out any minute now. Emily's hands crept around my back and unhooked my bra, tossing it aside carelessly before her lips closed around my nipple. I buried my hands in her hair, my hips bucked wildly, and I moaned so loudly I was positive people would be able to hear me in the next town. Her other hand was firmly cupping my breast, her fingers rolling and pinching and soothing my nipple while her tongue circled and her teeth bit sensitive flesh and I felt as though I'd died and gone to a rather sinful yet delightful version of heaven.

She plucked her lips from my nipple and smiled up at me before resting on her knees between my legs. Her hands trailed down my legs, stopping at my ankles where she grabbed them and pushed my feet back so my knees were bent and spread apart.

"Lovely," she murmured before kissing up the inside of my leg as I writhed beneath her. I could feel her kisses becoming more erratic as she came closer to my centre, and I noted how tightly pressed together her legs were – obviously I was making Emily just as crazy as she was making me.

I threw things off slightly as I straightened out one of my legs just as Emily had removed my panties. She'd spread her legs slightly and I took it to my advantage as I slipped my leg between hers and pressed it against her centre and was rewarded with a husky moan.

I smiled devilishly at her and used her own words against her. "Merry Christmas to you too, Emily."

Emily's name transformed into a moan on my lips as she'd taken that moment to clasp her lips around my clit and press her tongue against it. My hands again tangled in her hair as she brought me closer and closer to climax. I could feel her grinding against my leg and knew from the trembling in her legs that she was close herself, possibly holding it off until I came.

Emily moved wantonly against me as she tried to hold my hips in place before slipping two fingers inside me and curling them and I came apart, moaning and possibly screaming. I felt her shudder on top of me and watched as her lips moved away from my centre and bit down on the sensitive flesh on my inner thigh, which only sent me into a deeper spiral.

She was able to move before I was and started to kiss back up my body before kissing me gently, leaving the taste of myself on my lips. She rested her head against my shoulder, her hair tickling my chin as I came down. When I was finally able to move, I pulled my duvet and covers over us as I'd noticed goosebumps forming on Emily's back. I traced patterns on her back and watched as her breathing evened out.

"I'm really happy you and I got to spend this Christmas together," I murmured so quietly I couldn't be sure she'd heard me. She nodded against me and kissed my neck.

"Me too, Naoms."

"Will you stay the night?"

I felt her lips smile against the skin of my neck. "Of course."

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><p>I heard Effy stumble in at some point during the night, giggling and making quite a bit of noise – slamming into things, making the floorboards creak like mad. I didn't think much of it then – after all, Effy could get a little out of hand when she was drunk. Emily stirred against me and called out for Effy to "keep it the fuck down" or she'd "come out there and sort her out". Her half-asleep threats were heeded and the noise quietened down after that<p>

It wasn't until the next morning when I left a still-asleep Emily in my bed to go to the bathroom and ran into a carbon copy of Emily brushing her teeth, though this Emily was half-naked and I was quite sure the Emily in my bed was still completely naked. I actually had to do a double-take, looking from Emily 1 who was still in my bed, to Emily 2 who was using one of my spare toothbrushes and looking at me as though I was mad.

"Err..." I said awkwardly as Emily 2 spat out her toothpaste into my sink and rinsed her mouth out.

"It's Katie, you dweeb. Thought you'd gotten over the twin thing by now," Katie said before leaving the bathroom and walking through my bedroom back into the living room.

And suddenly Effy's banging and making the floorboards creak and giggling late last night all made sense.

How lovely. Katie and Effy had sex on my floor. I'd either have to move house or disinfect the place as soon as possible.

I'd forgotten why I'd gone into the bathroom to begin with and followed Katie into my living room where I found a naked Effy sprawled out on _my blanket_ on _my living room floor_ while Katie banged around in my kitchen muttering to herself about breakfast.

Lovely.

Merry fucking Christmas to all then.

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><p>"Good morning, lovely," Emily said as she walked over to me and kissed me. She had my duvet wrapped around her and her hair was all over the place but she still looked absolutely gorgeous. She didn't seem to notice Katie, who was currently making toast, or Effy, who was still lying naked on my blanket in my living room.<p>

"Morning," Katie and I said in unison as Emily jumped at the sight of her sister.

"Jesus!" She said as she clutched at her chest.

"Heard it's his birthday today," Effy said as she strolled in wrapped up cozily in my blanket.

"I'll have you know that blanket holds many fond childhood memories of mine that you've completely tainted by having sex with Katie on it. I hope you're happy, Effy Stonem!" I berated her as she sat down and Katie put a plate of toast and a cup of tea in front of her. Effy looked down at her breakfast and over at Katie and smiled before returning her gaze back to me.

"Well, lovely Katie has just made me some lovely breakfast and we had lovely sex last night and it's lovely Jesus' birthday today, so yes, Naomi, I am definitely happy!" She replied before taking a bite of her toast and smiling broadly at me.

I buried my face in my hands as Emily leaned down and kissed me on the neck. "I'll make you some breakfast, Naoms," she offered.

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><p>Emily and Katie got into a small argument about who was better at making breakfast, and then Effy and I got into a small argument over whether Emily's toast with butter and jam was better than Katie's toast with just butter. In the end, we all just agreed to disagree. Effy and Katie decided to go back to "bed" on my living room floor, and Emily and I decided to try to get started on dinner.<p>

As I watched Emily try to stuff a turkey and heard Effy and Katie giggling I couldn't help but smile. I'd only been up about an hour and a half and this was already shaping up to be my best Christmas yet, and it was mostly due to the redhead standing next to me asking me if I had a flashlight so she could see inside the cavity of the turkey because she couldn't seem to "stuff the bloody thing right".

"Well, you filled me up just fine last night Ems, and you didn't need a flashlight for that... and that was in the dark!"

Emily huffed, though I could see she was trying to hide a smirk. "Just go find me a fucking flashlight, Naoms."

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><p>Hope you liked the chapter! Please let me know what you thought in a review - they encourage me to write and make me insanely happy when I read them!<p> 


	16. Christmas Day

Hello everybody! Sorry it's been so long since the last update. It's been a bit crazy with university, between all the essays and presentations I've had to do and the exam I'm supposed to be studying for (that's happening tomorrow), and then getting horribly sick, things have been really busy. But alas, I am back with yet another Christmasy chapter, which was written while I was watching the Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special so a few quotes may have slipped in... not too sure really lol.

I still don't own Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 16: Christmas Day<span>

"Holy crap, Emily, this thing weighs more than a ten year old child!" I called out dramatically as I struggled to lift the turkey from the oven. Emily had decided that she'd take care of the turkey and I'd do, well, everything else. However, somewhere during the middle of the day after Emily had put the turkey in the oven, she disappeared to have a shower and play board games with her sister, Effy, my mum and Kieran.

She appeared in the doorway and laughed as she watched me struggle instead of coming over to help. I shot her an evil glare and she eventually came over to help me.

"I've been basting this thing and covering it and uncovering it and basting it and covering it and seasoning it and draining drippings from the pan and _you_ have been no help whatsoever!" I said as we heaved the turkey onto a wooden carving board. "Oh, _I'll_ do the turkey, Naomi, love, you do the stuffing and cranberry sauce and roast potatoes and carrots!" I said, trying very hard to sound like Emily, though ultimately failing.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed the nape of my neck, immediately taking my mind off the damn turkey. "Aw, babe," she whispered against my skin, her lips trailing up towards my ear. "I'm sorry I haven't been helping. Can I make up for it later?" Her teeth grazed my earlobe lightly and her hands, which were once on my waist, were now trailing lower, making my breath hitch.

"Mmmm, alright, I guess," I said, sounding quite husky and turned on, though I was trying to sound upset.

"Just forget about the turkey now, love. Everything else is already finished, and it's Christmas. Your mum's been dying to start handing out gifts," she said as she hooked her thumbs into my belt loops and pulled me back into her. "So come on."

She grabbed my hand and we walked out into the living room. My mum was sitting next to Kieran on the loveseat while Katie and Effy were in the middle of a game of charades.

"Look who I found moaning about the turkey!" Emily said in a sing-song voice as I rolled my eyes and sat down next to her on the couch. My mum and Kieran laughed and Effy and Katie continued playing charades.

"A movie..." Effy said as Katie smiled proudly and nodded. Katie held up one finger. "One word..." Effy said as Katie nodded again. She then held up three fingers. "Three letters...?" Effy half-asked as Katie nodded wildly. She then made a triangle shape on top of her head, making her look like she was wearing a very pointy hat. "Elf!" Effy guessed as Katie cheered and jumped on her.

Playing charades with Effy was completely fucking pointless because she got it right every time anyway. Sometimes I wonder if she really needed someone to tell her if it was a movie and how many words there were in the title – she probably knew from the second they got up there.

"We shouldn't have agreed to charades, Kieran," my mum said, looking at Kieran apologetically.

"Err, Eff? Can I talk to you in the other room for just a minute?" I asked, breaking Effy's attention away from Katie's lips. She smiled and nodded at me before untangling herself from under Katie.

I waited until she got into my bedroom to close the door and look at her seriously. "Is Freddie coming here today?" I asked. I could sense Effy tense up, which usually meant she was upset about something or she hadn't told me something important.

"Well, err, you see...um..." Effy stalled, running her fingers through her wild hair. "Freddie and I are kind of...finished. He said that he loves me, that he always will, but that he knows there's someone else and that this wasn't all about the early menopause."

My mouth formed an "o" shape, suddenly feeling very awkward and unsure of how to act here. Was I supposed to comfort Effy? Or would she be alright without it since now she was with Katie? Did I have to apologize?

"You don't have to say anything," she said with a smile, obviously sensing my awkwardness. "Freddie said he'd been waiting for me to make a decision for a while now and that he decided to make one for me. We're still going to work together and try to stay friends, but I'm not sure how it's going to work out."

I nodded slowly before my instincts took over and I reached out and pulled Effy into me. I hugged her tightly with all that I had in me.

"I love you, Eff."

"I love you, too, Naoms."

I kissed her on the cheek and wished her a Merry Christmas before walking back into the living room and sitting next to Emily. I grabbed her hand and kissed it gently before snuggling into her side.

"I'm so happy London Heathrow got closed because of a small snowstorm and our flight ended up being diverted to Paris, Naoms," Emily said with a smile before kissing me gently on the lips. It was slightly awkward, kissing the girl I liked in front of my mum and stepdad, but they were both pretty drunk and in their own world.

"Me too. I'm also happy that your parents decided to go to Scotland for Christmas because now I get to spend this whole day with you...and your sister," I added reluctantly, making Emily laugh and kiss me again.

"Naomi, this one's for you, love," my mum said as she handed me a carefully wrapped present. It even had a bow on top. I looked at the tag, and saw that it was from Emily, signed with a bunch of x's at the end. I looked up to see her smiling shyly at me, and I smiled back.

I opened the present, and revealed a medium sized plain white box. I removed the lid, and at the very bottom of the box were two train tickets to Paris. I beamed at her and jumped over the pile of presents in the middle of the room to get to her. I ended up jumping into her, maybe a bit too forcefully as she fell backwards. I made sure I hadn't hurt her in any way before grabbing her face and kissing her all over.

"_Disgusting,_" I heard Katie mutter as I continued kissing her sister. I flipped her off, and my mum tutted, but Effy laughed.

"_That's_ the true Naomi Christmas spirit showing through!" Effy said. I broke away from Emily's lips and looked up to see Effy standing next to Katie, a lit cigarette in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. So Effy.

"You're gonna make my apartment smell like a pub, Eff," I said before Emily pulled my face down and kissed me gently. She pulled away and smiled at me.

"So you like the tickets then? I thought, you know, we could go together for a romantic weekend and not stay at Euro Disney this time, maybe even see the Eiffel tower," she bit her lip nervously as she finished her sentence. I smiled and nodded at her, kissing her again gently.

"I love them, Ems."

I pulled myself off her and reached into the pile of presents, and pulled out Emily's present from me. "I guess my gift kind of ends up going with yours," I said quietly as Emily inspected the rather thin envelope I handed her.

She opened it and read the letter before squealing and kissing me. I'd sorted out a three day stay at a well-known hotel in central Paris, close to all the tourist attractions.

As Emily got up and showed Katie the letter detailing the hotel stay, and watched Effy look fondly at Katie while puffing away on her cigarette, and watched my mum and Kieran laugh together, I knew for sure that this was the best Christmas yet. I found myself thinking of what next Christmas would be like, hoping that Emily would still be by my side, that Effy would finally find her peace, and that my mum would still be happy with Kieran. Emily came back over to my side, and cuddled into me.

Definitely the best Christmas yet.

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><p>Please don't forget to let me know what you thought of the chapter in a review :)<p>

And also it'd be greatly appreciated if you could recommend some fics to me as I'm almost running out of stories to read!


	17. Awake My Soul

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews you left on the last chapter as well as the fic recommendations (which I have started reading!) Hopefully with the next update I'll be able to recommend some fics to you guys if you'd like that sort of thing :)

This chapter doesn't seem to have much going on, but I actually really enjoyed writing it and know that some important things do happen so I'm happy with it.

As usual, I don't own Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 17: Awake My Soul<span>

I woke up early the next morning with Emily sprawled out next to me, her red hair fanned out around her head. The still-blue early morning light made her look almost ghostly, as though she was going to slip right past me. I turned onto my side and propped myself up on my elbow and couldn't help but stare at her, watching her every move in hopes that somehow it would keep her next to me. She was lying on her stomach, her bare back exposed, my duvet covering her lower back.

There was something at work here, something that brought us together. I knew I wasn't lucky enough to merely stumble upon someone as wonderful as Emily Fitch. My hand sneaked away from me as I traced patterns along her back, feeling my hand rise and fall with the movements of her breath. I felt so at peace here with her – even more at peace than when I spent a month in India travelling around to various temples and meditating.

"Darling, I can't sleep with you staring at me like that," Emily whispered as I continued to trace patterns on her back. She sighed heavily as I splayed my hand out flat against her back, just feeling her breath.

"You're too beautiful for me to look away," I whispered in response as I leaned down and kissed her exposed skin. "Just lay there and let me enjoy this."

And so she did. She just laid there and let me trace patterns into her back and kiss her and think about how amazing she was. I memorized every scar, every freckle, every mark I came across. I remembered where she was ticklish, I remembered where she would sigh slightly, I remembered where she held stress in her shoulders. Eventually, it came to be that I was almost lying on top of her, my bare breasts pressed against her back, my cheek pressed against hers, our hands intertwined.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," Emily whispered, squeezing my hand tightly. I sighed with what could only be relief. My chest filled with happiness, no, not happiness, pure bliss.

"I'm falling in love with you too."

We fell back asleep like that, me lying almost on top of Emily, my heart filled with love.

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><p>I awoke with the bright sunlight beaming in my face, still lying on top of Em. I rolled off her and sighed, tangling my fingers in my hair before I pulled myself out of bed rather reluctantly. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a top before walking into the kitchen as silently as I could.<p>

"Freddie, you can't just fire me without grounds! I have shares in the company, you'll have to buy me out if you want to get rid of me that badly!" Effy was sat at my kitchen table, whisper-arguing into her mobile. "You _owe_ me, Freddie! You either buy me out or you're fucking stuck with me."

Effy angrily hung up the phone and grabbed her mug of tea, looking as though she was about two seconds away from throwing it against a wall.

"Eff?" I asked, breaking her from her thoughts as she realized I had just seen the whole thing. She shook her head and smiled, though it wasn't a real smile. It was a smile where she was doubting everything she thought she knew about the world and the people around her, a smile that held no hope for humanity.

"Freddie says he can't work with me anymore. That it'd be too hard for him," she said, her blue eyes peering up at me. I could see she'd let her walls down and was showing me the real Effy right now. She was scared and vulnerable and lost.

I nodded and sat down next to her, scooting my chair close to hers and pulling her into my side. We sat there like that for a few minutes in silence. I didn't want to coddle Effy and tell her everything would be alright, because she knew that. Effy was actually a really good stylist and could get a job working with a proper high fashion magazine if she really wanted to. Effy wasn't feeling sad because she'd lost her job. Effy was feeling abandoned by the first person she'd ever loved, the first person she'd ever worked for, and the person she'd once envisioned staying with for the rest of her life. I knew that she was happy with Katie, but she was going through a lot at this point in her life. I needed her to know that I was always going to be there for her, and no matter how many times I told her so, I knew that Effy needed to be shown that I wouldn't abandon her as so many others previously had.

Katie padded into the kitchen still half-asleep, but seemed wide awake as soon as she noticed the state Effy was in. I got off my chair so Katie could sit down next to her and snuggle her as I'd been doing moments earlier.

I put on a pot of tea and made some toast and set them on the table for Effy and Katie as I wasn't feeling very hungry, and could tell that they needed their own time together.

I walked into the bathroom only to find the shower already occupied by Emily. I was about to leave before I remembered that she was my girlfriend and technically I could shower with her if I wanted to. At this thought, I quickly stripped off my shorts and shirt and slid open the shower door.

Emily was turned away from me, facing the shower head, though the surprised glance she shot me over her shoulder let me know that she'd heard me come in.

"Good morning," she said with a smile before leaning back and kissing me.

"Morning, shower stealer."

She smiled at me before handing me the shampoo and trading places with me so I was under the spray of the shower and she was stood behind me. I felt her wash my back as I lathered the shampoo in my hair.

"I kind of have something important to tell you," Emily said as I began to wash the shampoo out of my hair. I turned back around, soap suds stinging my eyes, making me squint at her, and nodded before I continued to rinse my hair. "I have to go to London next week and stay there for a little while."

"For how long?"

"A few weeks maybe. I was called in to do the make up for some photo shoots for a few magazines. And since what happened with Effy and Freddie, I doubt I'll have a job with them now so I could really use the money," Emily said as I reached over and turned off the shower.

I smiled and shrugged at her, feigning nonchalance though I actually wasn't quite sure how to feel about Emily being gone for a few weeks. I was definitely going to miss her and not seeing her all the time was going to be really difficult, but at the same time I didn't want to be selfish or overprotective and offer to come with her or ask her not to go. She was right – Freddie was unlikely to want to work with Katie or Emily after what happened with Effy, and that had been a somewhat stable job for Emily. I was proud of her, being able to find a job doing these photo shoots, but at the same time I was scared and feeling selfish. I wanted to have her all to myself, preferably for her not to leave my flat for the foreseeable future, and now she was telling me that not only was she planning on leaving the flat, but leaving Bristol.

"Are you okay with that, Naoms?" She asked, searching my eyes with her own worried brown ones. I smiled tightly at her and nodded before stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel for each of us.

Emily came up from behind me as I finished wrapping the towel around myself and hugged me tightly. "I love you," she whispered before kissing my shoulder. I smiled, a real genuine smile, all my fears about Emily's journey to London forgotten.

"I love you, too."

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><p>Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the update :)<p>

Please let me know what you thought in a review!


	18. I'll Be Waiting

Hello everybody! I hope you all had a great Christmas/ whatever holiday you celebrate in the winter time. Sorry it's taken me so long to update but I've felt a bit discouraged - I only got two reviews on the last chapter and I felt unsure of my writing. Has my writing gotten bad? I hope I don't sound like a whiny author - I genuinely want to know what I can do to improve the story for you guys. So let me know if there's something that you think I could improve on :)

As usual, I don't own anything to do with Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 18: I'll Be Waiting<span>

A week had passed since Emily told me about London, which meant that she was supposed to leave tomorrow. I hadn't been able to see her as often as I would have liked since she had to constantly go back to her apartment and pack her things up. Apparently packing up her makeup kit was quite a lot of work in itself, not to mention clothes and shoes and other things that she'd need while she was in London. She'd given me the key to her apartment to pick up her mail and take care of it while she was gone. It felt strange, to be trusted with that kind of thing. Strange in a good way, I suppose.

Katie was upset that Emily had to leave, but in a different way than I was. She was jealous that Emily had managed to find the job all on her own since she still hadn't managed to find anything. As we expected, Freddie didn't take their calls or speak to them at all, and last I'd heard he was planning on relocating his business.

While Katie was out pounding the pavement trying to get a job at any makeup counter and sending out portfolios and Emily was packing her life up, Effy and I had decided that it was best if Effy moved in with me for the next little while. Of course, this also meant that we had to get a new flat since Effy was still currently sleeping on my living room floor and the flat was just far too small for the both of us. Emily had offered to let Effy stay in her apartment, but Effy refused. I think she didn't want to be on her own – after all, she was dealing with a lot at the moment, what with her premature menopause and no longer having a flat or a job, not to mention what was going on with Freddie. He had agreed to buy Effy's shares in his company, which gave her a decent amount of money to begin her new life. I'd put the flat up for sale two days ago, and things were looking good.

We'd welcomed in the New Year quietly by opening a bottle of champagne and watching a movie in my flat, which had somehow turned into the hub of all my friendships. JJ and Cook would come over as they pleased, and Katie and Emily and Pandora would as well. We never mentioned Freddie. Everybody was a bit upset when Effy and I announced that we were looking for a new flat, but after we assured them that there would be more room for all of us to get together they relented.

Things with Emily weren't exactly easy at the moment. We were both being clingy and hiding our feelings and busy with other things in our lives. It was an odd position to find ourselves in – Emily was busy packing, I was busy working and trying to sell the flat and find a new one, and while we both wanted to spend time together before Emily had to leave, our pride wouldn't let us. I didn't want Emily to know how hard her leaving was going to be for me, and Emily didn't want to be a nuisance while Effy and I were trying to pack up the flat. She was leaving at quite a bad time – we'd just confessed our love for the other and instead of celebrating that and spending time together, we were apart.

"What's going on in that lovely head of yours, roomie?" Effy said as she walked into the kitchen, balancing a box on her hip.

"Uh, just, you know, Emily stuff. What're you doing?"

Effy put the box down on the kitchen table and turned it so I could see the label on the side of the box. It read "plates" in bold writing, followed by "DON'T FUCKING DROP THIS". Typical Effy. I smiled and nodded at her before picking up my mug and washing it.

"Don't you think it's a bit early to be packing up the plates already? What are we going to eat off of?" I asked as I shut off the water and dried my hands. Effy smiled as she opened the cabinets and began to pack the plates away.

"I just got off the phone with the realtor. We got an offer – they met asking price with no conditions, but we've got to be out of here in two weeks," she said, finally looking up at me and smiling hugely. I squealed and hugged her, almost making her drop a few plates, but this was unheard of. The flat was in a great area and was in good condition, but for it to be sold within two days of being put on market is incredible.

"Well, you have to call the realtor back and accept the offer and I have to call Emily and let her know the good news!" I said, reaching into my pocket and grabbing my cell phone as Effy did the same.

"I can't believe this is going to be our last night together in this place," Emily said as she cuddled into me on the couch. I nodded and kissed the top of her head. The flat was quiet as I'd asked Effy if she wouldn't mind spending the night at Katie's. Emily and I really needed the time together. "I'm not even going to be able to help you find a flat."

Emily's face morphed into a full blown pout, and it wasn't one of those I'm-being-cute pouts either. She seemed genuinely upset and I saw tears filling her eyes. I pulled her chin up so I could look in her eyes.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked. I didn't want Emily to be upset, or feel like she was missing out on things.

"I just... I want to be with you for that kind of stuff. Finding a new flat and moving in and helping you set up. I wish I didn't have to go to London for that job. I wish it could have been here in Bristol so I could stay with you..." she drifted off, looking back to the TV again. "It's going to be so different now, without seeing you every day and being in London and not being able to come home. I'm going to miss out on a lot of things."

I kissed her gently and hugged her tightly into me. I couldn't really argue with her – everything she said was true and it was exactly what I was worried about also. I knew I was going to miss her immensely, but I would never ask her to stay with me. I wished we could just go to bed, holding each other tightly, and wake up and have breakfast and Emily could stay with me and not have to go to London.

"I'll miss you, Naoms. More than you can imagine," she mumbled into my shirt. She grabbed my hand and held it tightly, her fingers nearly crushing mine.

"I think I'll miss you just as much," I responded before kissing her gently. "But we'll try to talk to each other every day – I don't care what time you get in from work, you can call me whenever and I promise I won't get mad if you wake me up. Maybe I'll even try to come to visit you one weekend when you're not working and after Effy and I have settled."

Emily nodded against me. "I love you."

I sighed against her. "I love you, too."

"Don't forget about me, Ems. Don't get all caught up in the rush of living in London and find someone better than me. Just don't forget that I'm waiting for you at home," I whispered, voicing my true fears. It was plausible. Emily was attractive, and I'm sure she'd meet other attractive people while she was in London. I needed her to remember me, to remember what we had.

"I would never forget about you, Naoms," Emily said with finality as she leaned up and kissed me. "Let's go to bed."

She got off the couch and pulled me up from where I was sitting before leading me into the bedroom. It wasn't the first time I wished that time would stand still for me, so I could cement the memory of Emily's bright red hair in the dim light of my room, or her pale skin against my sheets, her lips against mine, the tightness in my chest when she was near. But time moved on, as time always does, and I knew that Emily was leaving and that these memories would be all I had until she came back to me. So I tried as best as I could to make our last moments together as good as they could possibly be.

I could do nothing less and nothing more.

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><p>Please let me know what you thought in a review - good or bad, I'd like to hear it!<p>

Thanks for reading!


	19. Gone

Thank you so much for all the encouragement and reviews! I am definitely going to continue this story, I have most of what's left planned out, maybe about ten or so more chapters left. I hope your New Year's was lovely and that your midnight kiss was phenomenal :) I spent my night in an Irish pub, requesting that an Irish Folk Band play Genesis songs (I blame the beer).

As usual, I don't own skins or have anything to do with it.

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><p><span>Chapter 19: Gone<span>

I woke up earlier than usual the next morning, partly due to sadness and partly because Emily was lying half on top of me and I couldn't breathe. I'd probably had the worst sleep I'd ever had lying next to Emily that night – fitful and full of nightmares that weren't scary but heartbreaking instead.

"Em," I whispered as I rolled over onto my side, forcing Emily to roll off me and lie on her back. I kissed her neck, her full lips until I felt her start to wake up and respond to me.

"Naoms, it's so early..."

I silenced her with my lips as my hands grazed over her breasts, thumbs flicking over her nipples. She moaned into my kiss, her hands moving up my neck and threading through my hair. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but I wasn't sure if it was mine or Emily's. She pulled away from me, her head falling onto my shoulder, her lips touching my neck.

"I don't want to leave you," she whispered against my skin as I took her clothes off. I shook my head and kissed her hair.

"It's okay," I whispered as she began to take my clothes off as well.

I sat up, pulling her up on to her knees to mimic how I was sitting. Her fingers slipped inside me at the same time I slipped my own fingers into her.

Coming together like that, looking into her eyes as she came undone and knowing that she was seeing the same thing on my own face...it was all so powerfully sad. It felt more like a goodbye than I realized at the time.

Katie came and picked Emily up to take her to the train station since I didn't think I'd be able to watch her get on the train. Luckily, Katie brought Effy with her when she came to pick Ems up, so I got to spend the day crying and watching crappy romantic comedies with Effy.

"You alright, Eff?" I asked as Effy handed me the box of tissues after we finished watching Remember Me.

She shrugged and sat down next to me, bringing her legs up in front of her. "Yeah, I suppose so. Oddly enough, I don't miss Freddie as much as I thought I would..." she sighed. "I just never thought I'd be here. Unable to have kids, and not being with Freddie but being with Katie instead. Not that there's anything wrong with Katie. I dunno...so many things have changed in so little time. It's overwhelming.

"I never thought I wanted kids," she said as I nodded, clearly remembering the numerous times Effy had mentioned how much she hated children. "But if I never wanted them, then why do I feel like I'm incomplete now that I can't have them? Maybe I did want kids, but just not now. Maybe ten years from now. A few weeks ago, I could see myself in a house with a backyard and a swing set and some rugrats. Settling down, you know."

I nodded again and handed Effy the box of tissues. She was tearing up, but hadn't let a single tear fall. "You know, Naoms, it's scary when you think about it. I spent all my years as a teenager and a young adult trying to avoid getting pregnant and now I wish I hadn't been so close-minded. One month, you're fertile, the next month, you're not. If Katie and I stay together we can't ever have children of our own. I just...I wish I could get a do-over."

I had nothing to say to that because Effy had never said so many words all at once and to be honest, I was astonished. So I hugged her as tight as I could, like you would hug a small kid who had just learned about global warming and realized that one day, they were going to die. A small kid who was scared shitless of life.

I wanted to make a joke to lighten up the mood – something along the lines of loaning Effy an ovary or something like that. But it wasn't the time. There was no point in sugar coating Effy's reality. She could never have children. Her life would never be what she expected. And maybe she would never be able to feel complete again.

Right now, it sucked. But some day, it would be okay.

Emily didn't call me that day. I wasn't too worried since I didn't make her promise to call me as soon as she got into London, but I was a bit upset. We'd just said yesterday that we'd try to talk to each other every day, and I'd told her she could call me whenever, no matter what time it was.

"Stop sulking and eat your burrito," Effy said with her mouth full. We were on our sixth movie of the day, Moulin Rouge. "Emily will call you."

We went to sleep. She didn't call.

We woke up. She didn't call.

I worked on an article about Syria. She didn't call.

I edited my article about Syria. She didn't call.

Effy made pasta for dinner. She didn't call.

We watched another movie. She didn't call.

We went to bed. She didn't call.

She didn't call.

I don't know why.

Effy and I moved out a few days after Emily left. I still kept going over to Ems' flat to get her mail, which I'd give to Katie to pay since she had access to Emily's bank accounts.

Our new flat was great, definitely bigger than the old one. We had three bedrooms, though one was rather small for a bedroom and Effy and I ended up using it as a big office. We each had our own desks, and I loved being able to write somewhere that wasn't the kitchen table. Effy had her own room and ensuite, and I had my own room and ensuite, and the kitchen was big enough for both of us to be cooking at the same time. Our living room was currently empty since we couldn't decide where we wanted the couches and TV to go, so Effy had turned the whole room into a "meditation zone". She says meditating is the only way she manages not to kill me these days, since I've been a "right stroppy cow" since Emily left and dropped off the face of the earth. I tried to meditate with Effy once but she said I breathed too loud and nearly punched me because she couldn't get zen.

I had immersed myself in work and unpacking and reorganizing my room. But nothing stopped me from missing Emily. I kept myself busy during the day, but as soon as I got into bed at night, I'd cry and it wouldn't stop. I'd hide from myself all day long, but as soon as I would get into bed and I'd be all alone and my mind would start to wander, all I could think of was Emily. I'd tried to get in contact with her but my calls went straight to voicemail. I didn't know what went wrong. I didn't want to drag Katie into things, so I didn't ask her about Emily, I didn't even mention her whenever Katie was around.

I missed her immensely. I wanted to pack up my things and search for her in London, but if she wanted me there, she'd have answered my calls. She'd have called me. So I didn't try to find her. Because even if it wasn't with me, I wanted her to be happy.

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><p>I'M SORRY OKAY! Please understand that this is key to the plot, but be forewarned that the next few chapters are going to be like this.<p>

Please let me know what you thought in a review - even if that thought was "OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME THIS IS HORRIBLE"


	20. Easier

Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter! I've felt really excited about writing the next few chapters, so hopefully that means more frequent updates :) Of course, that depends on how heavy my workload will be for uni this month, but I do hope I'll be able to update at least once a week!

And thank you for being so understanding about Emily leaving - you've all been great! Also, just so you all know, this is where the story begins to deviate from what happened to me. I actually just celebrated my one year anniversary of being stuck in Paris about two weeks ago.

And as usual, I don't own or have anything to do with Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 20: Easier<span>

Three weeks after Effy and I moved into our apartment, we managed to decide where to put the couches and still have enough room for Effy to meditate. Ever since I'd bought 21 by Adele, Effy spent a lot of her time meditating, and I spent a lot of my time sobbing to Adele songs. My boss had lightened my work load a bit as he was planning on sending me to Egypt in a few weeks. Normally, I'd feel nervous about being in the middle of such a political hot spot while the Arab Spring was still happening, but I didn't really feel anything.

I was in my room, lying on my bed, and singing (sobbing) along to Turning Tables when I heard the front door open.

"No, Katie! What do you think you're doing?" I heard Effy yell from the living room.

"I have to talk to her, I can't just not tell her," Katie replied. With this I flew off my bed and ran to my bedroom door. She must have something to tell me about Emily. Maybe she was hurt. Maybe she was back from London. Maybe there was a reason for her ignoring me.

I saw Effy grabbing Katie's arm and holding her back from getting to my door.

"What's going on?" I asked. Katie opened her mouth to speak, her forehead creased and eyes concerned. Effy silenced her.

"It's nothing important," Effy said firmly before letting Katie's arm go and storming over to her yoga mat. "Naoms, please just leave us. I have to sort this out with Katie."

I shook my head as Katie continued to stare at me. I knew I looked a right mess. My hair hadn't been dyed in almost a month and my roots were showing. I wasn't wearing any makeup, and my face was probably red and blotchy from crying. I'd taken to wearing yoga pants and sweat tops since I so rarely left the house.

"This doesn't just concern you and Katie, Eff," I said, my voice raw from crying. I'd never seen Effy get off her yoga mat so fast, her eyes ablaze.

"It doesn't concern me, eh? I've been here with you every day since she left! I know what you've been like! You can't hide from me, _I live here_! Katie has no clue what you're like – you actually act somewhat normal around her! She doesn't have to listen to fucking Adele all day long like I do!" She yelled, stomping over to me and shoving me back towards my bedroom. "So excuse me for wanting to protect you. She left you. I don't want you to hurt any more than you already are. And if that means keeping Katie from telling you things about her, then so be it. If it means that Katie and I argue more than we used to, then so be it. But I have to protect you."

She shook her head and stomped back to her yoga mat, where she rolled it up tightly. She walked into her bedroom, shooting a glare at Katie and shaking her head again.

"She spends all fucking day sitting there cross-legged trying to meditate because of me," I said, tears filling my eyes. "Ever since Em...she left, I forgot about Effy. I forgot that she has things going on right now too."

Katie nodded and squeezed my shoulder tightly. "Naoms, I know you're hurting, but if I have to hear Someone Like You one more time I'm going to snap that fucking ipod in half."

I nodded and shuffled back into my room and paused the music. Katie came in and cleared the tissues off my bed before sitting down.

"Has she asked about me?"

We both knew exactly what I was asking her, who I was asking her about.

Katie nodded. "She wasn't honest with you about why she was going to London, and it's really not my place to tell you what's going on. But...I don't think she's coming back any time soon."

I nodded and fixed my sweater. I grabbed my keys off my dresser, and walked out of the flat.

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><p>I wound up at my mum's house. I'd forgotten to grab a coat before I left, and I purposely didn't take my mobile. I didn't want Effy to call me and yell at me again.<p>

I rang the doorbell and waited, peering through the glass at the side of the door to try to see if anyone was in.

"Naomi! What are you doing here, love? You must be freezing!" My mum said. She grabbed me and pulled me into the house, leading me to the kitchen. "Let me make some tea."

I sat down at the kitchen table as my mum started to make the tea and set out some Garibaldis for me. She sat down in front of me and smiled as I ate and drank.

"What brings you here, Naomi?"

I shrugged. "I...I just...It's not been very good since Emily left."

"What hasn't been good, dear?"

"Life."

"Oh."

I nodded. "Katie came round today. And she and Eff started fighting about me. Katie wanted to tell me something and Eff got mad. Said that she didn't want me to know because she wants to protect me and that Katie doesn't know how bad I've been."

My mum nodded and handed me another Garibaldi.

"Effy hasn't stopped meditating since we moved in, she says it's the only way she can deal with me being so miserable. I've just become so self-centred. Eff's been taking care of me and cleaning the flat and cooking and trying to find work and I can barely make it out of bed to get to the office to write my articles."

My mum grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. "Sometimes the people you love the most can fuck you up the most. Emily was a good girl – a great girl. You love her. I don't know what's happened to her or why she hasn't contacted you but I do know that it's not over."

I shook my head and cried into my tea. "How can you know that? Katie says she's not coming back for a while."

"Nothing's over until you're dead, darling. There are infinite possibilities in this life. Fuck, your father could come walking through the door this very minute, that's a possibility. Unlikely, but possible," she smiled at me. "It's not over, but if what Katie said is true and Emily really won't be coming back for a while, then you have to let her go."

I nodded. "I'm trying," I whispered. My mum laughed.

"No you're not, love. This is the first time you've been out of the flat in two weeks, and yes, Effy keeps me up to date on how you are and what you're doing. And the last time you went out was to buy that fucking Adele album!" She said, and this time I laughed too. "It's time for you to be Naomi again."

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><p>I left mum's flat after a few hours of chit-chat. I already felt a bit more like myself, less like the pathetic Naomi I'd been for weeks. It was refreshing.<p>

I picked up Chinese food on the walk home. I knew it was Effy's favourite, and if Katie was still there I knew she'd like some as well. I wasn't too hungry since I ate almost the whole pack of Garibaldis.

I opened the door to the flat, and found Effy sitting on the couch, sitting in the dark with my mobile in her hands. She looked up and ran over to hug me.

"I'm so sorry for what I said! I didn't mean it, you can listen to Adele all you like and cry as loud as you like and I won't say a thing! Just please don't leave me like that again!" She said, her voice tight and strained as though she'd been crying. She pulled away from me and I smiled at her.

"I don't accept your apology because everything you said was completely right, and I'm sorry for being such a cow these past few weeks," I hugged her tightly. "I went to my mum's and she kind of...sobered me up."

Effy nodded at me and looked down at the takeaway bags in my hands.

"Oh and I bought Chinese food for dinner."

She beamed at me and kissed me on the cheek before taking the bags from my hands.

"Did anybody call?" I asked as Effy started piling our plates up, even though I'd told her I wasn't hungry.

"Yes, Barack Obama wants to talk to you about the debt ceiling and then Angela Merkel called because she wants your opinion on the Euro crisis, and then David Cam-"

"Okay, I get it," I interrupted. "Nobody called."

She smiled at me and handed me my full plate of chinese food.

"Where's Katie tonight?" I asked as Effy turned on the TV.

"Dinner at her parent's place."

"I hope you two are okay... I don't want you fighting over me."

Effy shrugged and smiled. "We're okay. She's coming over after dinner."

I smiled at her. It was easier to smile now, even if only a little bit.

"Love you, Eff."

"Love you, too, Naoms."

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><p>Thank you so much for reading and please don't forget to let me know what you thought in a review!<p> 


	21. Secrets

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for the amazing reviews you've all left me. I have good news and bad news for you. I'll start with the good news - this chapter is where everything is explained. Now, the bad news - I go back to school this week which means updates will likely be less frequent. And uh, also, more bad news. This chapter contains very serious references. I don't want to spoil exactly what is mentioned because it is unexpected for all of you as none of you guessed this to be the reason for Emily's disappearance. Let's just say, a lot, a lot, a lot of violence.**_ Please be forewarned that this chapter is not for the faint hearted._**

This is how I always planned it. Of course, due to the nature of this chapter, I feel I must reiterate that the story has now completely deviated from what happened to me. **This never happened to me**. Things started to deviate once Emily left. I still have my Emily.

As usual, I own nothing.

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><p><span>Chapter 21: Secrets<span>

Three months had passed since Emily left.

I'd gotten on with my life, I suppose. I went to Egypt for a while for work, and I'd explored a bit while I was there – though not as much as I would have liked, due to the political instability. After I came back, things settled down. I'd go out with Katie and Effy, who pressured me to find a new girlfriend and claimed that I wasn't moving on properly. It's not that I didn't want a new girlfriend – I just didn't find anyone that I liked enough to date.

My mum and Kieran were the same as always, stable and unpredictable, and the same goes for Cook. JJ and Lara recently found out they were expecting their first child together, which was rough news for both Katie and Effy. I know that sometimes they tried to push their infertility out of their minds, make it easier to deal with, but with Lara and JJ constantly talking about babies, they were constantly reminded that they'd never have their own.

Katie had managed to find a job working with another local photographer, and she was happy. Effy worked with the same photographer as his stylist.

I stopped going over to Emily's flat to get her mail. It was actually quite impossible to go there, considering the place had been sold over a month ago.

It didn't seem like she would ever come back. Katie never mentioned her, but I watched Effy comfort her when she cried over Emily. I comforted her myself when she was too proud to let Effy see her cry on her birthday. It was her first birthday without Emily. And she comforted me when I cried on my birthday. I told her I wasn't crying because I missed Emily, but I think we both knew the truth.

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><p>It was a rainy Saturday morning that I had planned to spend in bed. Katie and Effy had gone to the countryside for the weekend – a couple's getaway. Cook and I had gone out last night and I had the hangover of the century to prove it.<p>

So you could imagine my annoyance when somebody buzzed my flat at 7:30 that morning, while I was trying to sleep.

I got out of bed, not bothering to put any clothes on as I slumped over to the intercom.

"Fuck off, will you, it's a fucking Saturday," I mumbled into the intercom as I turned to walk away.

But the buzzing didn't stop. So I gave up and buzzed them up.

I went back into my room, pulled on a pair of underwear and a baggy singlet. I heard a knock on the door as soon as I'd finished dressing, and slumped over to the door. I probably looked a bloody mess – I was still wearing all my dark eye makeup from last night, which was probably smeared half down my face by this point. My hair, which had been teased last night, was probably so messy and frizzy that I likely resembled Diana Ross.

I opened the door and leaned against the doorframe, closing my eyes.

"Whaddaya want," I mumbled, bringing my hand up to rub against my forehead.

"Um... hi, Naoms."

My eyes sprang open and I nearly threw up at the sight of the person before me.

Emily.

"Oh, god, you can't be here, no," I said as I flew into action, trying to push her away from my door and trying to shut it in her face. But she just pushed past me into my apartment, and I'm not quite sure how she managed it.

"Naoms, please," she pleaded, her voice thick, as though she was about to cry. "Please, please don't throw me out, please."

She actually started crying and collapsed on my floor, surrounded by about five over-stuffed suitcases.

"I know I've fucked it up and you hate me and I hate me and it's all ruined and I'm sorry I left you without an explanation and I'm sorry I never called you and I'm sorry I hurt us," she wailed, burying her face in her hands. "But please, let me explain, please, please, Naoms, let me explain."

I could only stare at the woman before me, a woman who was only a shade of the Emily I'd once loved. Her hair was black and her complexion looked sallow and she looked thinner than I'd ever seen her before. Her eyes no longer shone as they once did, but instead held a pain and an emptiness I couldn't begin to comprehend. She seemed hysterical and obviously very upset.

My heart ached and for some reason my hands started to hurt and I knew I couldn't throw her out because the last time my hands started to hurt was the first time I told her I loved her and I knew I loved her still, no matter how often I denied it to others and myself.

"I need a drink," I muttered before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of vodka out of the freezer, as well as picking up two shot glasses.

I sat down in front of her and pushed her bags away, putting a shot glass in front of her and filling up my own shot glass. I shot it down eagerly, hoping to numb my headache and my heart.

I filled up Emily's shot glass and looked down at the floor, not wanting to see Emily and how she looked now.

I heard her swallow the vodka down, and listened to her place her shot glass back on the floor.

"Two years ago, I was working in London as a barmaid. I had a really small apartment a short walk away from the place."

I had no idea what this had to do with her leaving me or why she hadn't called, but I listened regardless.

"One night, I stayed after hours. We'd had a party for the owner of the pub and I'd offered to clean up. It was his birthday. We'd all been drinking, all the staff. I left to walk home about two hours later than usual. I'd always walked the same route home, I didn't even really know of a different way to walk home. I walked by an alley, and someone sprang out at me. Grabbed me from behind. But they whispered in my ear, and I recognized their voice and I knew I'd spoken to them before. They had been waiting for me. He forced me into a car and gagged me, though screaming wouldn't have done me any good anyways since there was no one on the street, and the area wasn't residential. He took me back to his flat, carried me up to his apartment, handcuffed me to his bed and he raped me.

"When he'd finished, he uncuffed me and left the apartment. I let myself out and walked back to my flat, which took me two hours since I got lost so many times and had no idea where I was. When I got home, I took a shower and spent the rest of the day in bed. I couldn't move.

"The next day, I went to a shop, one of those shops that sells investigative and self defense things. I bought myself pepper spray, and a taser gun. Then I went to a knitting store and I bought the biggest knitting needles I could find that would still fit in my hand bag.

"I walked back to his apartment, hoping to find him there, but I found the apartment empty. I asked his neighbours who he was, but very few knew his first name, let alone his last name. I asked people at the bar if they knew John. His name was John. Someone said they knew a John Foster, but they doubted I knew him – he was a psychiatrist, ran in different circles than I would have. He'd only come to the bar a few times. But it was all I had to go on. So I left London, went back home to Bristol, and asked JJ to run background checks on every John Foster in England. JJ's very good with computers...doesn't talk about it much, it embarrasses him.

"I'd been searching for John Foster for two years before I found the right one. He was still living in London, living not too far from the pub where I used to work. I lied about the job. I didn't have one waiting for me in London. But I did have something I had to do. I went to his apartment, his real apartment. I don't want to tell you what I did to him because, well, I'm not sure that you could handle it. After he was unconscious, I snooped through his apartment and found a whole closet full of tapes. I found one called Emily. He'd taped raping me.

"It was better than I could've hoped for. I wouldn't have to kill him, I would just show the tape to the police, and he could be charged. So that's what I did. Of course, it was very difficult to explain the rod up John's ass to the police, and also how I'd managed to get him naked and had the time to restrain him if I was only defending myself. They also wondered how I'd managed to get him still enough to tattoo 'Rapist Pig' on his forehead, but they didn't need to know that he was unconscious by that point."

She sighed heavily and looked up at me. I'd managed to look at her as soon as I started to realize where her story was going. I'd cried when she said she was raped.

"I'm sorry for leaving you, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on. I didn't want these parts of my life to meet. John was so horrible and you were so perfect and I didn't want you to pity me. I didn't want you to feel as though I was a delicate petal who couldn't defend herself or take care of herself or have the courage to report a rape to the police. I'm sorry."

I moved over to her so quickly that I knocked over our shot glasses and the bottle of vodka and I hugged her as tightly as I could. I felt every bone in her body against my flesh, and I kissed her face. I whispered that I loved her and that nobody was braver than she was and that I missed her and I told her I loved her some more.

And then Emily cried for the first time since she started telling her story. And I cried, too.

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><p>Serious stuff. Please leave a review letting me know what you thought. No smiley faces today - doesn't go with the serious nature of the chapter. But know that I still love you all and appreciate your reviews.<p> 


	22. Rebuilding

Hello everybody! Thank you so much for the reviews you left on the last chapter. You've all been so wonderful and lovely and I just can't thank you enough for your support :)

Some of you may call this chapter filler - I call it necessary. I couldn't just have them jump back into their relationship exactly as they'd left off.

_And I'd just like to reiterate that this story has now completely deviated from what happened to me._

__I still don't own skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 22: Rebuilding<span>

Emily and I went back to bed after she finished telling me about John. Actually, I'd half-carried her back to bed since she wouldn't stop crying. I put her on her old side of the bed and didn't get in beside her right away. I wasn't sure that I wanted to. I felt scared and overwhelmed by Emily's sudden presence in my life and with the knowledge of what happened to her. She didn't look like the same Emily anymore. I undid her pants for her and took them off, leaving her in black underwear and a tank top. Her hip bones protruded and her collarbones showed and her arms were so skinny. Her hair was black and looked as though it hadn't been washed in a few days and her face was pale.

I didn't recognize the woman I loved, but as she cried and grabbed my hand and asked me to lay with her, I knew I couldn't say no to her. So I climbed in next to her and kissed her forehead and made a promise to myself that I would bring Emily back. That I'd make her happy again. I was already so happy that she was back and unharmed – though, of course, my own happiness was currently being overshadowed by the concern I had for the woman I held in my arms as she cried.

"I missed you so much, Naoms," she said once she had stopped crying so much. My shirt had been soaked through with her tears and was likely see-through by this point, but I didn't care. I was still comfortable around Emily even though she'd been gone for so long. "I thought about you every day. You were the last thing I'd think about before I'd fall asleep because I thought if I thought about you last before I fell asleep, I'd dream about you. And sometimes I did. Dream about you."

She nodded against me and grabbed onto my singlet tightly. "But those dreams were nothing like the real you. I couldn't really smell you or really touch you or really hear you."

I nodded against her, understanding exactly how she'd felt. Emily sighed and fell asleep against me. I followed suit soon after.

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><p>I woke up to Emily tracing over my face gently, staring at me in awe.<p>

"Hi," she whispered, taking her hand away from my face and letting me wake up. I stretched and rubbed my eyes, looking down at my hands which were now covered in black eye makeup.

"Hi," I said as I scrubbed my hands against each other. "I must look like a raccoon. Or Taylor Momsen."

Emily smiled and nodded before lying on her back and stretching her arms out across the bed. "Where's Effy and Katie?"

"Off for a couple's weekend. They went to...Enmore? It's by Taunton."

Emily nodded and I could feel her stare at me as I got out of bed and walked over to my bathroom and started to wash my face. Emily followed me in and bumped my hip with hers, making me wince. She was too skinny and her bones knocking against me like that hurt. She apologized and started brushing her teeth.

"I'm going to order some food in, anything special you want?" I asked as I finished up brushing my own teeth. Emily shrugged, and at that moment I decided to order enough chinese food to feed at least five people. I needed to fatten her up at least a little bit before Katie got back here.

I was reluctant to leave Emily alone, even for a moment just to go and order the chinese food. I wanted to be around her all the time, make sure she felt happy and safe all the time. But I also didn't want to scare her off or make her feel uncomfortable or as though I didn't trust her to be alone. I'd never pictured myself as the clingy type but suddenly that was exactly who I'd become. I had to keep reminding myself that Emily was fine, that she was the same Emily she was before she left. That nothing really changed. That, if anything, Emily would be better now that she'd confronted John and put him behind bars. But I was scared that this transformation Emily had gone through to find John would stick and I was scared that I'd never really get her back and that she'd get worse.

I ordered the chinese food and sat at the dining room table, waiting for Emily to come out of the bathroom. I put my head down against the table and closed my eyes and remembered Emily before she left, tried to remember if she'd ever acted oddly around me, if there were any clues as to what she'd gone through.

"Naoms," Emily placed a hand against my back, between my shoulder blades. I raised my head to look at her and saw that she was smiling and it made me feel warm inside. She looked like my old Emily.

"You haven't really changed that much," she whispered as she sat next to me. "Still worrying about me, I see."

I nodded and forced a smile. She grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly.

"I'm still Emily. I still like all the same things I used to like. And I'm still in love with you. I left knowing that I'd come back one day, and hopefully we'd be able to start our life together. I still want that. I still want you."

She looked down at our intertwined hands and looked up at me, seeming unsure. "You...do you still want me?"

I nodded quickly and leaned over to kiss her. And when I kissed her, she tasted the same as she used to. And her lips felt as soft as they used to. And she sighed against me just like she used to.

And then her black hair and her skinny hips didn't seem so bad. Because I loved her and wanted her desperately still. She was still my Emily. And I was still in love with her.

And I knew we'd make it.

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><p>The Chinese food came and we sat on the couch and watched a re-run of River Dance. I don't know why. But I did know those fuckers could dance.<p>

"Look how in sync they are!" Emily exclaimed as she stole the container of chow mein from me.

I smiled over at her and watched her eat as though she hadn't eaten properly in months, which I suppose was possible. We didn't exactly eat properly while we were stuck in Paris and I knew Emily would often forget at least one meal a day. The way she was eating reminded me of how quickly she'd eaten her fish and chips we'd bought when we first got into London from Paris. I smiled at the memory.

It was the second time that day that I was reminded that really, nothing had changed. I snuggled into Emily's side and she tried to feed me chow mein and I just felt normal and comfortable.

The months that Emily had spent searching for John would eventually become a small bump in our relationship that would make us stronger. Eventually, I'd forget about how much my heart hurt when I'd think of her, or how much I missed her. But I knew that we, Emily and I, would never really change. We'd probably be on this same couch six months from now, one year from now, maybe even five years from now.

Emily leaned down and kissed me, her tongue seeking out mine. She tasted like chinese food. And I smiled and told her I loved her and she told me she loved me back.

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><p>So, there we go. Only a few chapters left after this - I'm predicting about five more chapters, and have been toying with the idea of a sequel, but I'm not too sure about that.<p>

Please let me know what you thought of the chapter in a review :)


	23. Uncertainty

Hello everybody! I'm so sorry I've been MIA lately, had a bit of a hard time writing this chapter and felt a bit unsure about it. Actually, I felt much more than a bit unsure about it.

Thanks to all those who have been reviewing/favouriting!

I still own nothing.

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><p><span>Chapter 23: Uncertainty<span>

A month had passed since Emily came back from London. Katie and Effy had come back from their weekend vacation the day after Emily showed up at our flat. I had never seen Katie so angry, nor had I ever imagined I would ever see Katie and Emily get into a full-on fist fight on my living room floor. Emily was just about to smash a lamp over Katie's head before Effy and I finally intervened – I, frankly, was scared shitless of both Emily and Katie, and Effy seemed oddly stoic, as though she was going to let them fight until we absolutely had to stop them. I'd never seen Emily look as angry as she did when she was fighting with Katie, and I'd never heard Katie yell as loudly as she did at Emily. In all fairness, Emily hadn't been the one to start the fight – as usual, Katie jumped to conclusions when she saw Emily and I in bed together and actually started the fight because she was trying to protect me. She thought Emily was back for a short while, would use me, and then leave again. Apparently Emily had done this sort of thing before and never gave Katie any kind of explanation as to why she'd randomly take off and show up months later.

When Effy and I had finally pried the twins off each other and sat them down to talk things out, it became quite clear that Katie had absolutely no idea about Emily's rape. I didn't want to hear the story again, so I left the room to take a shower. Thinking of Emily being violated and hurt in that way made my stomach curl.

After Emily had finished telling Katie about John Foster, they promptly took over Effy's room and told us that they needed "sister time". Effy took over the couch and watched movies for the rest of the day while I yelled at her to turn the volume down so I could try to write my articles.

That was the only day that anything really significant happened for a month, and to be honest, I was quite happy about that. I needed things to calm down and get back to normal. Effy and Katie would go to work every morning, and Emily would leave shortly after them to go to work at a makeup counter in a nearby department store. I'd have the whole apartment to myself, which made writing a lot easier. My boss had decided to stop sending me to politically unstable countries for the time being, and instead decided to let me focus on feminist issues around the UK.

Emily was coming home early tonight, so I'd decided to tidy up the flat a bit so she wouldn't feel obligated to do so. She'd started to live with us as soon as she came back, which was fine by me. Katie was also planning on selling her flat and moving in, since she already spent so much of her time here.

I'd finished tidying up the flat and had just sat down at the table with a cup of tea and a pack of Garibaldis when Emily walked in. She was always tired when she came home from work since she had to stand all day working at the makeup counter. She wasn't crazy about the job, since she didn't get to put a lot of her knowledge to use and she hated the sales goals she was forced to meet. She'd done a few proper makeup jobs on the side, working for small fashion shows and theatre productions, but I could tell she missed the fashion/editorial industry.

"Hey," I called from the kitchen as Emily dropped her bags and took off her shoes. She smiled at me and sat down across from me at the table. I frowned – she wasn't wearing her work uniform. "Where've you been?"

She stiffened slightly and looked down at her hands. "I have something I want to talk to you about," She said, smiling slightly. "It's good news, or, well, I think it's good news. I know it's gonna seem fast, but I really need to start thinking about these things-"

"Em, you're rambling. What is it?"

"Well, I went to the doctor's. I...uh...ever since I found out about Katie and her premature ovarian failure, I've been worried that it's going to happen to me. Since we're identical and we have identical DNA, it seems likely that it'll happen to me," Emily stuck her hand up between us as soon as she noticed that I was about to interrupt her. "Let me finish. That day when Katie and Effy came back from their weekend getaway and Katie and I said we needed sister time – we talked about having some of my eggs frozen so we could both use them when we feel the time is right.

"I went for a consultation today, and the doctor said that I'm a good candidate – healthy, young. So, because we're not sure about when or if I'll become menopausal, they've decided to fast track me through the procedure. I'm starting hormone injections tomorrow, and within a few weeks, I'll be ready to have the eggs removed."

I nodded my head slowly, watching as Emily tensed even further. "You're not telling me something," I said as I watched Em fidget.

"Well...Katie and I haven't decided if we'd actually like to freeze the eggs, or use them now. Transfer success rates are slightly lower for frozen eggs, and Katie's nervous that because she's already menopausal that the success rates would be even lower for her," She looked up at me nervously.

"How do you feel about all this?" I asked. I personally, had no clue how to feel. I didn't think I was anywhere near ready for a baby. I wasn't even aware that Katie and Emily had the money to do these sorts of procedures. I'd only gotten Emily back a month ago and it seemed a bit fast to be talking about babies.

"I don't know how to feel. I want a baby, but I don't know _how_ I want to go about that. I...I want us to have a baby together," She looked at me straight in the eyes, and I squeezed her hand tightly. "Regardless of what we decide for us, I'm going through this procedure for Katie and Effy. They've decided already that they want a baby. They just haven't decided who would carry yet."

I was in shock, and I'm quite sure my face showed it.

"Holy crap."

Emily nodded and looked at me again, her eyes hopeful. "Do you want a baby with me?"

"I... I do, I think. I don't know. It's all so much to decide. I mean...fuck. Don't we need to choose sperm donors? And we've only just moved in here, there won't be enough room for two babies and all four of us. Who would carry for us? Do you want to? Couldn't we use my eggs if we really wanted to? How much is this going to cost? Would it be cheaper if I was inseminated, instead of you having to go through in vitro?"

Emily smiled. "We'll have to decide those things together. But I was thinking - and you can totally say no to this if it makes you uncomfortable – but maybe if we decided to inseminate you, we could choose someone from my side of the family to be the sperm donor. That way it's almost like the baby is really ours."

I stiffened at the idea. I wasn't sure exactly who Emily could be referring to, but I'd met her brother James and I'd rather use Cook as my sperm donor than that pervy little bastard.

"We still have time to decide, right?" I asked. Emily smile faltered slightly and she nodded.

It may be an odd thing to think about after you've just been asked to make a massive commitment to the woman you love, but all I could think was Effy and Katie were two sneaky little bitches, keeping me in the dark about all this.

I really didn't know how to feel. The only baby I'd ever been around was JJ's son Albert. And I only liked him because I technically had to. Suddenly, all the memories of me throwing up on my mum when I was little, or partying all night when I was a teenager, or yelling at my mum for organizing my room, all these memories came flying back at me.

Oh, god.

_A baby._

_ Two babies._

Fucking hell.

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><p>Please let me know what you thought in a review - I still don't quite know how to feel about this chapter and I really want to know what you guys think. So... babies - yes or no?<p> 


	24. Old Friends

Hello everybody. Sorry it's been a while since I last updated, but this chapter was really difficult for me to write and I've hit a wall with where I want this story to go. I suppose I'm lacking inspiration. Plus, to be honest, feedback on the last chapter wasn't that great so I'm not sure how you all feel about where this story is headed and it's all a bit confusing and overwhelming really.

This is a shorter chapter than usual (waaay shorter) and you can blame the writer's block for that.

As usual I don't own any of the characters.

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><p><span>Chapter 24: Old Friends<span>

It had been three days since Emily told me about her plans. Katie and Effy were ecstatic and had decided that Katie would carry the baby. Emily was happy because she was doing something nice for her sister, and she was hopeful that I would agree to having a baby with her.

But I couldn't do it. I felt completely betrayed and left out of the loop. I was completely alone. I couldn't go to Effy and talk to her about things because she was too excited about her baby with Katie. I couldn't talk to my mum because my mum would want me to have the baby with Emily. And of course, I couldn't talk to Emily because she was crazy at the moment, what with all the hormones that were coursing through her body. I was the one to inject her with fertility drugs and hormones every night. I couldn't let anybody know how upset I was.

I hated it. I just wanted my Emily back. I didn't want a baby yet. I wanted normalcy and commitment before I could even start to think about having a baby. Emily and I weren't stable enough to have a baby yet and I'd only just got her back. I loved her, but I wasn't ready to have a baby with her.

I had to tell Emily. I knew it was cruel, to lead her on like this. She assumed that I'd decided to have a baby, even though I really hadn't given her an answer yet. She just seemed so happy. But I was sure that our relationship wasn't strong enough to handle this yet. I was almost positive that she would leave me when I told her.

I just wanted my old Emily back. I didn't want any of this baby craziness. I wasn't even sure that Katie and Effy were ready to have a baby, considering they didn't even have a place of their own. Even if Emily and I decided not to have a baby, we'd be stuck helping Effy and Katie raise their baby since we lived with them. I didn't want that either.

I was supposed to be happy. I loved Emily. I loved Effy, and I even loved Katie on occasion.

But if I was so happy, then why did I want to pack my bags and run away?

For the first time in a long time, I longed for the days before I met Emily in Paris. The days where I'd date someone and judge them too harshly and never have to see them again if I didn't want to. I missed my independence.

It was three in the morning. Emily was sound asleep next to me, her back rising and falling as she breathed. She was gorgeous. I knew I loved her deep down, but I was just so mad at her. She failed to talk to me about one of the most important decisions of her life. And now I was stuck.

Well, now I wanted to be un-stuck.

I grabbed my cell phone off the bedside table, and walked out of the apartment. I hit speed dial 3 on my cell phone as I continued to walk down the hallway.

"Hello?"

"I'm coming to yours. I need to talk to someone and I need your help."

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><p>The flat was in a not-so-nice area of town, but I'd walked these streets so many times before that I became immune to the hardness of the area. I let myself in the building using my own set of keys, but decided to knock on the door rather than just let myself in the flat.<p>

"Naomikins, what's wrong?" Cook asked as he opened the door and cuddled me into his arms.

"So much, Cookie. Katie and Effy want to have a baby and now Emily wants to have a baby," I said as he pulled me into the flat. It was a one-room flat that wasn't in the best condition, but for a long time this place was my second home. I sat down on the edge of Cook's bed as he poured me a drink.

"So Ems wants a baby and you...don't want one?" Cook asked as he took a sip of his own drink.

I nodded. "I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. She's only been back a month and I love her but I just... I'm so mad at her right now, Cook. Sometimes I look at her and I think a little part of me hates her for doing this to me. We haven't even had sex since she's been back and suddenly she wants a baby. I'm 25, I don't even have a proper steady job. How the fuck can I possibly take care of a baby?" I asked as Cook grabbed me and pulled me into him tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he lightly kissed my hair. "I should have been there for you."

I nodded against his chest. He hugged me for a long time before he finally suggested that we get some sleep. Even when we lied down, he hugged me against his chest, holding me tightly, telling me he missed me and that he was sorry.

After Effy and Freddie got together, Cook and I were the two abandoned best friends. We grew close...very close. For a long time, Cook was the very first person I went to with any problem, Cook was the person who I'd go out with, and Cook was the person who took care of me while I was sick. And I did the same for him. We'd slept together a few times, and Cook was the only bloke I'd ever been with that I actually felt anything for. But we were both too scared to figure out what it meant if we slept together and eventually we'd both moved on.

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><p>After waking up in Cook's flat that morning, I knew exactly what I had to do as soon as I possibly could.<p>

I had to come clean to Emily.

I knew I had a lot of things at stake, but I couldn't pretend a minute longer. It wasn't just about being honest with Emily; I had to be honest with myself. I wasn't ready for a baby and I wasn't going to be ready for that level of commitment for quite some time. I couldn't change that. And neither could Emily, no matter how much I loved her.

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><p>Please give me some feedback and let me know what you thought about the chapter in a review - they are much appreciated and really do make writing easier!<p> 


	25. Take it All

Hello everybody! I didn't expect to be back so soon, but writing this was a lot easier than I expected, even though I did have to watch three episodes from seasons 3 and 4 to write this chapter! One of you asked for more development between Naomi and Cook, and that is definitely coming.

Sadly, this chapter is where everything turns to shit, but I think you all knew it was coming.

And as usual, I don't own the characters or have anything to do with Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 25: Take it All<span>

"You wanna stay for breakfast?" Cook asked as he walked over to the kitchen. I'd been putting off heading home for about an hour. I was nervous, obviously, about what I was going to tell Emily. I knew it was very likely that I could end up without a home and without a girlfriend by the end of it all. My nerves were definitely justified.

"No, Cookie, I've really got to get this over with. The longer I keep it from her the worse it's gonna get," I sighed as I got out of bed. "What are you up to today?"

Cook shrugged as he cracked an egg into his one and only frying pan. "Gonna go pick up Paddy in about an hour. Spend the day with him," Cook smiled. Cook's brother Paddy was one of the few people in the world that Cook genuinely cared about. Cook's mum was a mess to say the least, and Cook often wanted to take Paddy out of the house to get him away from the bullshit. Of course, Cook would never have been able to get legal custody of Paddy, considering Cook could barely hold down a job and lived in one of the worst parts of Bristol, but I knew Cook loved him and wished he could take care of him properly.

Cook and I had often spent days together with Paddy, and I was pretty fond of the kid myself. He was like Cook in an odd way – he was less guarded and obviously more innocent than Cook was. Paddy was exactly what I imagined Cook had been like when he was a kid. He loved freely and honestly and hadn't yet learned to guard his feelings and act like he didn't care about anything.

"Well, I hope you have a good time. Don't be too surprised if I'm back here tonight with my bags packed if Em kicks me out," I said as I hugged Cook from behind. He nodded.

"You know you're welcome here anytime, Naomikins."

I smiled and walked out of the flat. I knew he meant it.

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><p>I knew Emily wasn't scheduled to work today, and I had also dawdled a bit on the way home so that Katie and Effy would have already left for work and wouldn't have to be there for the inevitable fight.<p>

I walked in to the flat, which seemed empty.

"Emily?" I called out as I brought the newspapers and mail in.

"In the office," Emily called back. I dropped the mail on the coffee table and walked into the office. Emily was sat at my desk and was going through some paperwork I'd left lying around.

"You weren't here when I woke up," she said, her voice tight. She didn't bother to look up at me and continued fiddling with her paperwork.

"I, uh, I went to Cook's," I said before walking over to the chair next to my desk and sitting down. I dropped my keys on the glass surface, trying to get Emily to look at me.

She nodded. "What for?"

"I needed to get away. Needed some time to think."

Emily nodded again, though I could see her lips becoming thinner and angrier. She cleared her throat and suddenly she didn't seem angry anymore. Her face was like stone and I could tell that she really was angry with me; her eyes were seething.

"You don't want this, do you, Naomi?"

I looked down at my hands and shook my head. "I can't, Em."

She sighed, still refusing to look at me.

"Why?"

I shook my head. "Please, Em, I'm just not ready. I can't change that."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "Well, I'm still doing it for Katie and Effy, but things have changed for me, too."

I sighed with relief and grabbed her hand. "You're not ready either?"

She looked up at me and shook her head. "No, I'm ready to have a baby. I've been offered a job in Paris working with Chanel and I've just decided to accept their offer. I'm staying until they've finished extracting my eggs and then I'm leaving."

I was stunned. And furious with her. It was just like when she left for London all over again. "What? You're leaving, all because I'm not ready to have a baby?"

"No, Naomi, I'm leaving because it's a smart career move. It's not _all _about you, you know!"

I wasn't known to be a very angry person. I rarely yelled, I hardly ever got into any sort of argument. I'd never been this angry before. But the way Emily was looking at me, acting all high and mighty, it made me furious.

"Fine, Emily, you go ahead and leave. Things get tough, you leave. Well, fine. You go to fucking Paris, see if I give a shit. But this time, don't bother coming back begging for forgiveness, because this time I_ will_ slam the door in your face! I can't believe I've let you back in my life! Things were almost back to normal and you came back! I've let you into my home! I've let you into my heart, I've told you things I've never told anybody, and this is how you repay me! _All because I'm not ready to have a fucking child with you!_"

I grabbed the desk lamp and hurled it onto the floor, ignoring Emily's stunned face, pushing her off me as she tried to get me to stop. I overturned the desk, sending my own laptop crashing to the floor.

"Do you see the fucking mess, Emily? This is what you've done to my life! I never used to care this much, and it's all your fucking fault!"

"Naomi, stop it, you don't me-"

"_Shut up! _You've only been back for a month and suddenly it's time to talk about babies and commitment! You can fucking tell Effy that I'll be back in two days to get my things because there is no way I'm staying in this house with you, and your sister, and my baby-crazy best friend because all of you have gone fucking mental!"

I walked out of the office with Emily running after me.

"Naomi, please don't go, stop it, I'm sorry, please don't leave things like this!"

She grabbed my arm just as I reached the front door. I quickly pried her off me, and looked at her properly. Her hair was a mess. She had mascara running down her face from crying, and her arm was red from when I'd pushed her out of my way.

"I really loved you, you know. But I've fucked you up and you've fucked me up and I can't take it anymore. It's too hard. So I'm going to stop this now," I said as my own tears finally spilled down my cheeks.

I walked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind me.

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><p>Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter!<p> 


	26. Don't You Remember?

I seem to have caught the writing bug and I don't know where it came from...but I like it! Tonight, I sat down and I looked at my original notes for this story, which helped a lot and I managed to get the next four chapters planned. That means that if things go as planned, this story will have a total of 29 Chapters plus one epilogue (which I'm thinking is going to be a bitch to write). It's actually making me kind of sad knowing that this story is coming to an end!

This chapter switches to Emily's point of view, and the rest of the chapters will also have alternating points of view.

You guys have been awesome with the reviews, thank you very much for all your feedback and support!

And as usual I don't own anything.

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><p>Chapter 26: Don't You Remember?<p>

_Emily POV_

Once Naomi shut the door of the apartment behind her, I knew that was it. Naomi wouldn't give me any more chances with her. This time, I'd really fucked it up. It was understandable, really. It was only a matter of time before one of us pushed the other too far. And this time it was quite clear that Naomi had been pushed far beyond her breaking point. I knew Naomi well, so to see her fly off the handle that quickly was alarming to say the least. But I knew I deserved it.

I knew I deserved it, but I didn't feel bad about what I did just yet. Don't get me wrong, watching her leave was difficult. I loved her, and I really thought that this time we'd make things work. It was hard to see her leave, knowing that I'd pushed her to this point. But having her overturn her desk and smash a desk lamp and then telling me that I made a mess out of her life? Well, I wasn't sure about that.

I walked back into the office and started to clean up Naomi's mess - not the mess I made in her life, _Naomi's mess_. I swept up the shards of broken glass from the desk lamp, and tried to work the scuffs out of the hardwood floor in the office from having the desk crash into it. But the floor was a lost cause.

_Just like your relationship._

I sighed heavily and heaved the desk upright and back into place. It was half past ten when I'd finished cleaning up Naomi's mess and remembered that I was supposed to have lunch with my mum at noon. I briefly considered rescheduling and then decided against it, partly just so I could get it over and done with, and partly because I shouldn't have to rearrange my life just because Naomi and I broke up.

I walked into our bedroom and looked at our unmade bed, Naomi's side of the bed still rumpled from the short time she slept in it last night. I sighed again but I still didn't really feel upset.

I got ready and dressed, and was finished just in time to head over to the restaurant and manage to be perfectly on time. I decided to walk since it was a pretty nice day out and since the restaurant wasn't too far. Since it was only lunch, I decided to dress simply in a black skirt and a nice shirt and blazer.

I arrived at the fancy restaurant that my mother had chosen, and was escorted to a secluded table where my mother was already waiting for me. She smiled tightly at me as I sat down.

"Perfectly on time," my mother said, her face looking so tense it seemed as though she was constipated.

I nodded and examined the menu for a few moments before the waiter came over to take our drinks.

"We'll have a bottle of red please, and make it the cheapest one you've got because I really can't tell the difference," I said with a smile as I handed the waiter the wine list. He seemed slightly shocked, and my mother let out a horrified _Emily!_

I shrugged at the disapproving look that my mother was giving me and continued to look over the menu. _What the actual fuck is duck confit and why is everything on here in French?_

I sighed heavily. I hadn't even realized this was a French restaurant.

_France, Paris, cancelled flights, delayed trains, EuroDisney, shitty hotels, Naomi speaking French, Naomi getting us out of Paris, Naomi building a suitcase fort._

Maybe I was starting to feel just a little upset.

"So what's new, Emily?" My mother asked as the waiter brought over the bottle of red I requested.

"I'm moving to Paris to work with Chanel's makeup department. They want me to help come up with new colours for their Fall/Winter collection."

My mother smiled and congratulated me, but didn't say anything else. I don't know why she bothered to even ask me out to lunch if she wasn't going to speak to me properly. I'd told her about Naomi before, but she was still refusing to accept my sexuality and therefore didn't want to hear about Naomi.

We placed our orders and were greeted once again by silence as soon as the waiter left. My mother took a sip of the cheap wine and grimaced. She looked up at me.

"Is that Naomi girl going with you?" She smiled tightly.

"I thought you said you never wanted to hear about her."

My mother shrugged. "Well, is she going with you?"

I shook my head and drank my whole glass of wine. "No, mother, she's staying here."

My mother looked pleased. "How will that work, then?"

I shrugged. "It won't."

"Oh well," my mother sighed and smiled. "I'm sure you'll find a lovely Frenchman who will be more than pleased to be with you."

I sighed and threw down my napkin before getting up from the table. I was just so tired of my mother's disapproval. Normally, I'd never storm out of a fancy restaurant, let alone storming out of lunch with my mother. But today, I couldn't deal with it. I'd had enough.

"Goodbye, mum."

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><p>When I got back to the apartment, I felt disappointed. I don't know whether I expected Naomi to be back at home and to apologize to me or whether I was disappointed in myself for fucking everything up once again.<p>

I walked past Naomi's bookshelf and scanned the titles of her favourite books, and went through all her music, and went through all her movies. I smiled as I sat a battered copy of Moulin Rouge, and remembered the first time we watched it together and how surprised I was when she cried like a baby at the end. She acted like she was all big and tough, going off to politically unstable countries to find the truth in all the injustice, but I knew Naomi was one big softie. And I knew that she really did love me. That I'd managed to be let in deep enough to see the real Naomi, the big softie Naomi who cried at Moulin Rouge and woke me up in the middle of the night to make love just because she couldn't stop herself from showing me how much she loved me.

I smiled watery smiles at the pictures she had of us together. There was one empty photo frame that I'd given her at Christmas. It was a silver frame made out of little Eiffel towers. It was for our trip to Paris that we never got to take. I'd told her that I wanted us to stand in front of the Eiffel tower and take one of those cheesy couple pictures, and Naomi had smiled at the idea and kissed me.

I grabbed the frame off the bookshelf and threw it in the garbage. Because it was never going to happen now, and I knew that if I was Naomi, I wouldn't want that frame hanging around to remind me of what would never be. So I threw it out for her. And I threw out her Adele album, because Katie had told me how often Naomi listened to it while I was in London. I didn't want her to mope around.

I walked into our bedroom and took off my stupid skirt and my stupid shirt and my stupid blazer. I got into Naomi's side of our unmade bed, and I buried my face in her pillow so I would smell her. And I grabbed her nightshirt from underneath her pillow and I put it on. It almost felt okay, to lay on her side of the bed and be in her nightshirt. It was like I was wrapped up in Naomi.

But I wasn't wrapped up in Naomi and I missed her arms wrapped around me, and I missed the smell of her skin and the way she'd kiss me in the morning. Her side of the bed and her nightshirt couldn't be a replacement for the real Naomi, even if they did smell like her.

It really was all my fault. And it really was the mess I made out of Naomi's life that ruined us. Right now, a baby didn't matter. My job in Paris didn't matter. Even the realization that I didn't have anyone to inject me with the fertility drugs I needed so I could go through the egg extraction for Katie and Effy didn't really matter.

I didn't have Naomi anymore and she was the only thing that mattered.

So I cried. I cried so hard that I worked myself into a full blown panic attack. I cried so hard that I made myself sick.

And none of it mattered because she was gone and I had only myself to blame.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading and please don't forget to leave me a review and let me know what you thought! Did you like Emily's POV and being able to get inside her head?<p> 


	27. Best Friends

Thank you guys so much for the awesome response to the last few chapters! This chapter switches back to Naomi POV, and it seems that I didn't get quite as much in this chapter as I had originally planned to...so I suppose that means this is now shaping up to be 30 full chapters and one epilogue. I think I'm starting to squeeze things out on purpose so I can put off ending this - it's gonna be difficult saying goodbye to this story!

As usual, I have nothing to do with Skins, you know the drill.

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><p><span>Chapter 27: Best Friends<span>

_Naomi POV_

I walked back to Cook's flat in record time. I had been so angry that I'd barely even realized I was at Cook's apartment when I used my key to let myself in. It was that kind of anger where you have a sort of tunnel vision, except you don't even have that because you can't give a flying fuck about what you're looking at – you can only hear the argument replaying in your head and you can't stop thinking about how god damn angry you are.

I rarely let myself get angry at all – it just wasn't worth it most of the time. But Emily pushed me to my breaking point, and apparently when I hit my breaking point I start smashing things. In all fairness, my life felt as though it had just been blown to smithereens itself, so smashing a desk lamp and overturning a desk seemed like a very small thing to do.

My life was a mess. I was getting close to hitting absolute bottom – I had no home, a broken heart, and because I broke up with my girlfriend I was likely to lose my best friend as well.

I think right now I really did hate Emily, just because it was easier to hate her than it was to remember how happy she once made me and how much I loved... still love her.

I sighed heavily and flopped myself onto Cook's bed, which smelled nothing like Emily's and my bed at home. Knowing that I would never sleep in a bed that smelled just like my bed at home wasn't exactly a comforting idea. I didn't even have a toothbrush or pyjamas. I also knew I couldn't stay at Cook's for a very long time – the poor guy had enough to deal with without having me moping around his tiny flat.

I reached in my pocket and pulled out my mobile. I dialled my boss' number – that's what I did when something went wrong in my life. I threw myself into my work.

"Hi, Jim, it's Naomi...yes, I know it's been a while since I've called... well, you see, I was just wondering if there were any extra stories that I could pick up... I've recently been able to free up a lot of my time... you know I'm not opposed to travelling! Right... well, I was hoping for somewhere a bit more exotic than London, but okay, you can count on me. Thanks, Jim!"

And just like that, it was sorted. I'd go back to my flat in two days to collect my things, just like I'd told Emily. Until then, I'd stay here at Cook's. And after I officially moved out, I'd move back in with my mum, something I never thought I'd do at 25.

I was at a low point in my life, but I wasn't crushed just yet. I was hurt, if I really let myself think about it. There was no doubt about that. But I couldn't be hurt and upset forever and I needed to get my life sorted out at the moment. So that was exactly what I was going to do.

"NAOMI-OH!" Cook yelled as he ran into his apartment and jumped on the bed, where I'd been napping five seconds ago. I grumbled at him and buried my face in his pillow.

"Fuck off, Cook," I mumbled as he pulled me closer to him and started tickling my sides. "Said fok off, Cook."

He stopped tickling me when he realized that he wasn't getting any sort of reaction out of me and just laid down next to me instead.

"'Sup, Naomioh? You alright?" Cook asked as he rubbed my back soothingly. I nodded because Cook didn't need to know I was crying.

I'd dreamt about her, and it left me red and raw.

"It's really over this time," I mumbled, turning over onto my side as Cook pulled me into his chest.

"S'alright, babe, it just hurts now," Cook whispered as he continued to rub my back. "B'sides, I brought you a present that I found on the doorstep."

I looked up and saw Effy in the doorway. Her arm was wrapped around her middle and her other hand was holding a lit cigarette. Her eyes were red and puffy as though she'd been crying.

"Sorry, Naoms," Effy whispered as she took another drag of her cigarette. Her eyes welled up again. "I've been a really shit friend."

I nodded at her but patted the space behind me on the bed. "It's alright, Eff. I need you, and now you're here."

She walked over to the bed and climbed in behind me, wrapping her arm around my waist. Cook and Effy's arms overlapped.

"I have so much to talk to you about," Effy whispered behind me as she kissed my shoulder gently.

I nodded at her. "So, talk to me then."

Cook took that as his cue to leave the flat in search of a takeaway. Effy sat up and rested her back against the wall, and I did the same.

"It's just... Emily's gone off the rails these past few weeks. Katie only briefly mentioned the possibility that Emily could freeze her eggs and that they could both use them, and suddenly Emily's off to fertility clinics and asking us who's going to carry the baby. Katie and I aren't ready for a baby yet, and I was going to tell Emily that right away, but Katie convinced me not to. She thought there was something up with Em, that there's something she was hiding from us. Katie went to the fertility doctors office and pretended to be Emily so she could get access to her files. About a month and a half after she was raped, her GP referred her to an abortion clinic."

_Oh my God. _I had never even bothered to ask Emily. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. How could I have been so blind...so stupid? Emily had gone through hell with John, devoted years of her life to search for him and when she finally found him, she got her revenge, not just for the rape, but for the baby too. My stomach twisted and turned as I realized that this sudden infatuation with children had nothing to do with the Emily I knew. It was the Emily who had been raped and was trying to rid herself of the guilt of having an abortion that was suddenly obsessed with having a baby. I jumped over Effy, and ran to Cook's bathroom, where I was violently sick. Effy ran in after me and held my hair back. I felt teardrops landing on my head, and knew that Effy was crying too.

After I'd finished throwing up and brushed my teeth using a spare toothbrush Cook had laid out for me, I went back to the bedroom where Effy was waiting for me on the bed. I sat down next to her and she grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"That week Katie spent in bed pretending to be sick was the week she found out. She wouldn't look at me or talk to me, and she sobbed all night long every single night. When she was finally able to tell me what happened, I was sick just like you were. I didn't see it coming either, Naoms, and neither did Katie."

I shook my head and rubbed at my temples frustratedly. "But I was her girlfriend. I saw what she was like after she came back from London. I should have known. I should have thought to ask," I whispered as Effy hugged me tightly. "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"You both need time, Naoms."

I sighed. I knew she was right.

"I promise, Katie and I will take care of her. I'll keep you updated every day about what she's doing and what's happening, and when she's finally ready we'll sit her down and work everything out. I promise, it'll all be okay in the end."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I buried my face into Effy's shoulder.

"I hope you're right, Eff."

Cook came home empty-handed, which was fine by me since my appetite had completely disappeared. Effy left as soon as Cook came home, and I began to feel as though they were purposely trying not to leave me alone. Cook climbed in bed behind me and kissed my cheek.

"You know I love you, right, Naomi?" He whispered as his arm wrapped around my waist. It was rare for him not to call me a nickname. It showed just how serious he was being, and I decided to reciprocate.

"I know. I love you, too, James."

He grabbed the remote and switched on the telly, putting on crappy late night talk shows. They served as an easy distraction from the pain of losing Emily and the realization that I had been a completely oblivious girlfriend.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading!<p>

Hmm, now I kind of feel like giving you all some recommendations for fics you should be reading, so that is exactly what I shall do! I've read some really great stories lately, and I must say, _What The Heart Sees_ by FitchSwitch had me up reading until the early hours of the morning - definitely one of those stories where you start reading, and suddenly it's four in the morning and you don't want to go to sleep at all because you have five more chapters of amazingness to get through! I've also been loving _The Bengal Tiger_ by SomeAreLakes, which just updated today (which I may have sneakily read at work because it's really that good!). And now, for something that isn't a Skins fanfiction, but a Glee fanfiction instead - I started reading _The Girl Next Door_ by TequilaQuest about two days ago and I am HOOKED!

Anyway, please don't forget to let me know what you thought about the chapter and if this helped you better understand the sudden change in Emily's character.


	28. Growth

Author's Note: Hey guys - sorry I've been gone so long. I felt really discouraged after posting the last chapter since I got basically no reviews. I didn't know how you guys felt about the turn the story had taken and I felt like that was a really pivotal moment and I really wanted to see your reactions to that. I know authors always say that reviews are great and stuff like that, but (at least for me) they really provide a great amount of feedback and understanding of what the reader wants to see and doesn't want to see. So without that feedback, writing turned into pulling teeth. I've been working on this chapter for weeks now and I still feel unsure about it. It ends kind of unnaturally but I felt like it really needed to end there - the next chapter is going to be a hard one to write, and I really needed this chapter to juxtapose Naomi and Emily's lives at the moment.

Thanks to those of you who did review and to those of you who have stuck with me from the beginning with this story. It's coming to an end soon and I'm really grateful that you've all stuck with me on this one.

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><p><span>Chapter 28: Growth<span>

_Naomi_

Just as I'd planned, I went back to the apartment with my mum to get my things two full days after I'd left Emily. That same day, I moved back in with my mum since there was fuck all space at Cook's. I knew I was cramping his style; he couldn't exactly bring any of his conquests home since he had a hysterical lesbian who wouldn't stop crying staying in his flat.

Moving back in with mum was a good decision, I suppose. She takes care of me and helps me with laundry and makes me plenty of cups of tea. The house is quiet during the day when Kieran's at work, leaving me in peace to write my articles, and at night mum and Kieran would usually go out and I'd have the house to myself. It was peaceful and really rather wonderful to be taken care of again. I had already decided that during this time apart from Emily, I would be completely selfish. I needed to reintroduce myself to who I was. Being in a codependent relationship and putting other people's needs before your own made it easy for you to lose sight of your own goals and wants and needs. So I was being selfish and getting to know Naomi again. Hopefully it would be for the better in the long-run.

Effy was keeping me updated on how Emily was doing, just as she'd promised. From the sounds of it, she wasn't any better. She was still insisting on going through with the extraction until she left for Paris. Katie and Effy were at a loss at how to deal with Emily and were planning to stage some sort of intervention. The day of Emily's departure for Paris, also known as D Day, was quickly approaching and I felt overwhelmed and unsure about how to deal with that. I hadn't spoken to Emily and she hadn't tried to contact me, so I figured I should just leave things be and let everything (hopefully) sort itself out.

I went to London for work just as my boss had requested. Work was becoming tedious and boring – I was getting tired of interviewing crappy politicians and trying to figure out why they were so crappy. I was tired of going to war-torn countries, which was happening far too often now that the Arab Spring was happening. I didn't know anybody else who had to worry about whether they remembered to put on their fake wedding band before leaving for the Middle East or putting fake photos of children in their purse so they could try to get potential kidnappers to sympathize with them. Maybe I was finally starting to settle down and this type of job had lost its appeal to me. It made sense, really. Nobody else that I worked with was my age and still doing this kind of work – they were all still young, most of them fresh out of university. I wasn't getting any younger and I found myself frequently looking to the future and seeing myself possibly married with a dog and kids and maybe even a house. It was a far cry from the person I used to be. But after Emily, I knew that commitment-phobic Naomi was no more, probably never to be seen again. And what was scarier was that I was alright with it.

I began interviewing for other jobs, and had been offered quite a few prestigious positions – a few from magazines, a few from newspapers, and even one from a TV News company, all based in London. One of them had been so keen that they offered to let me work mostly from Bristol and only come in to London for important meetings. Knowing that I was wanted by so many different employers gave me a surge of confidence, which was something I hadn't felt since Emily and I had broken up. I was still deciding which offer to accept – each one had its own pros and cons. I knew that the newspaper that offered to let me stay in Bristol was probably the most logical choice, seeing as I could move back in with Effy and Katie after Emily moved to Paris and I wouldn't have to sell my share in the flat to someone else so I could afford to move to London. But for some reason, I really felt like I needed a new start. I'd already decided I wasn't going to wait around for Emily's decisions to dictate what was going to happen in my life, because it was just that – _my _life. I loved her, but there came a point where I knew I needed to start putting myself first. Emily didn't consider my feelings before deciding to move to Paris...but then again, this wasn't about who did what to whom and revenge. It was about moving on.

_Emily_

My days had started to blend together quite a while ago. I would wake up in the morning and my whole body would ache. I would get out of bed only to have something to look forward to during the day – getting back into bed that night. Sometimes I would dream about Naomi. Those were the good nights. Seeing her smile again. Hearing her whisper my name and tell me that she loves me. Loved me. Sometimes her laugh would be the only thing I saw; her smile and the sound of her laugh playing on a loop in my mind. Sometimes I'd try to tell her I still loved her. That I needed her back and wasn't whole without her.

The other dreams I had were much worse. They were about John and all the moments leading up to my rape. Some of them made me re-live the whole thing. Those weren't the worst. Sometimes I'd dream about the clinic, hear the nurse tell me that it would hurt, hear her asking me if I was sure. I'd feel the pressure again, feel the pain all over again. Those dreams were definitely the worst. They made it so difficult to try to remember why I got out of bed in the morning. Why bother if I was just going to have those dreams? Why bother if I wouldn't dream of Naoms?

Every time I passed by a mirror, I'd do a double-take. Was my stomach rounder? I knew it was impossible, I knew I wasn't pregnant. But sometimes I hoped it was possible. And every time that I did a double-take and realized that I wasn't pregnant hurt just as much as the first time I did it two years ago after that day at the clinic.

_Come on, Emily,_ I thought to myself as I tried to lift the sheets that still smelled like Naomi off of me. _Just think about how great it'll feel to get back in bed tonight._

And so I did. I pulled the sheets off me, my body shivering as the cold air hit it. I sighed as I tried to sit up, but no matter how hard I tried, it wasn't happening. It was getting harder every day. Today, I didn't want to try anymore. But I knew I had to get out of that bed. So I rolled onto my side and rolled right onto the floor. For some reason, it was easier to get up off the floor and walk to the bathroom.

I covered the mirror with a towel and undressed, making sure I had another towel ready for after my shower. I didn't want to see myself today. I didn't want to be reminded that I still wasn't pregnant. Didn't want to be reminded of what I'd done.

I used Naomi's old shampoo and conditioner that she'd forgotten to pack. I liked smelling like her during the day when I wasn't wrapped in her bed sheets. It made it easier to remember that at least she thought I was a good person – that she'd wanted to be with me and that she'd loved me for whoever she thought I was. I'd started washing my face and brushing my teeth in the shower so I wouldn't have to use the sink and mirror.

I turned off the hot water after I'd finished up in the shower, and quickly wrapped myself in a towel. I turned my face away from the mirror as my hand blindly reached out to grasp the towel that was covering it. I pulled the towel down and left it lying on the counter, being careful not to look at the mirror at all before I walked out of the bathroom.

I got dressed quickly, pulling on a simple pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt. I'd quit my job after I found out about the job in Paris, so I didn't bother with make up since I never left the flat.

"Emily!" Katie called from the kitchen as I slid on my slippers. "Breakfast!"

I shuffled out of the bedroom and was greeted by the greasy smell of a full English breakfast. Katie and Effy were already sitting at the table, which was fully set. It was an odd sight, considering our normal breakfast routine was more of an "every-man-for-himself" scenario, and we rarely set the table even at dinner time.

"We need to talk," Effy said as she grabbed Katie's hand. They both smiled tensely at me and gestured to the chair across from them.

"Sit," Katie said, sounding both like she was asking me and commanding me.

I did as I was told.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know what you thought.<p> 


	29. Pretend

Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed the last chapter! Special thanks to _WhenAnxietyKicksIn_ who reviewed almost every single chapter! Your feedback was so useful and so greatly appreciated!

As usual, I do not own or have anything to do with Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 29: Pretend<span>

_Emily_

I sat down at the table just as Katie had told me to. Effy and Katie both looked tense, which had me worried since I'd only ever seen Effy looking bored or disinterested in what was going on around her.

"What is it?" I asked as I sat down and started eating the scrambled eggs on my plate. I wanted to pretend like I wasn't worried, or like I wasn't anticipating what they were about to tell me. Katie grabbed Effy's hand and gave her a silencing look.

"Well, it's about the whole...baby thing," Katie said, looking up at me nervously. I nodded and took a bite of my toast. It was exactly as I'd expected. I wasn't sure why she looked so nervous or why my toast was so dry, but I knew I didn't like either of those things. "Uh, Effy and I feel like we're not...quite ready...for a baby. The apartment is too sm-"

"We're not ready," Effy interrupted, now giving a silencing glare to Katie. "Our relationship is still really new and Katie hasn't told your mum yet and I haven't told my family yet. It's too soon to bring a baby into all of this confusion."

Katie nodded at Effy and looked over at me, concerned. I pushed my plate away from me and sighed. Acting as though I cared about things was getting harder and harder. I just couldn't do it anymore.

"Em, we don't think this is healthy for you, this whole baby obsession. Katie and I... we found out about the abortion," Effy said as she and Katie both leaned over to grab my hand, which was clasped in a tight fist on the table. This was one part of the conversation I definitely hadn't anticipated. "You're trying to replace the baby you lost, Em. But now you've lost so much more."

She didn't have to say what she meant; I knew exactly who she meant. As though I needed to be reminded! How could I possibly forget about losing her?

"Okay," I said, pulling my hand away from theirs and twisting my fingers together. I felt nervous and I didn't know why. My heart was beating really fast and I felt like I couldn't breathe. My vision went all spotty and I started hyperventilating. Nobody knew about the abortion other than my GP in London. I felt dirty and betrayed and exposed and so alone. The way they were looking at me, with such pity, it disgusted me. I didn't deserve their pity; I'd killed someone.

"Em, are you alright?" Katie asked as she got up from her seat and walked over to me. I nodded my head and she put her hand on my back, rubbing it in soothing circles. "It's okay to be upset. Nobody blames you, Em."

"Yeah, well, they fucking should," I said as I pushed myself away from the kitchen table and walked back into our old bedroom. I blamed myself for what happened to me – that much I knew with complete certainty. It was delusional of me, to think that I would finally get some kind of happy ending, to think that I deserved something like that after what I'd done. I had been so arrogantly happy.

I heard the front door open and frantic whispers as I grabbed a suitcase from our shared closet and started throwing my clothes in. I went into the bathroom and grabbed all of my toiletries and stole Naomi's shampoo and conditioner, stashing them away in my suitcase as well.

"Emily, what are you doing?" Katie screeched as she walked over and started pulling things out of my suitcase.

"I'm leaving for Paris early. There's no reason to stay here anymore," I said as I pulled my things out of Katie's hands and tossed them back into the suitcase.

"What about Naomi? You're just going to abandon her?" Katie said as she sat on my bed, completely taken aback that I was actually going through with this. I shrugged. Obviously I didn't want to abandon Naomi. This wasn't about her. I never ran away from a person, or something that had happened, let alone someone I loved as much as Naomi. I was always just trying to abandon myself.

"What about me?" She whispered so quietly I barely heard her. I looked back over my shoulder at her and saw tears in her eyes. I loved my twin, but I couldn't let her get to me. I had to get out of here _now_. I couldn't stand the person I'd become while I was here for a minute longer.

"I love you, Katie," I said as I continued throwing clothes in my suitcase. "You know that. But I have to leave."

I heard Katie sniffle as I started to zip up the suitcase. "You can't run forever, Emily."

"Look, Effy, I forgot my shampoo and conditioner and I'm too fucking broke to go out and buy some more! Just let me in the fucking bedroom!" Naomi yelled as she pushed through Effy into our bedroom. She was shocked at what she saw, and rightfully so. The bedroom was a mess; the bed was unmade, clothes littered the floor, there were towels over all our mirrors. It didn't look like the room Naomi and I had once shared.

I considered telling her that I stole her shampoo and conditioner, but decided not to.

"What are you doing?" Naomi asked, her voice delicate and scared. She gestured to the suitcase and turned to look at Effy and Katie questioningly before looking back at me.

"I...I'm leaving," I said, averting my gaze from hers as I began to walk out of the room, pulling the large suitcase behind me. I couldn't see her, not _now_. She was the one person who could make me stay, simply because I was a better Emily around her than I'd ever been before.

"Emily! Emily, _wait!_" Naomi called after me, her footsteps following closely behind my own. Her long legs got the better of me and she flung herself against the front door dramatically, blocking my exit.

"I know you think that what you're doing is right, and I understand that," She said quietly, her eyes searching my own desperately. I'm not sure what she was looking for, but I don't think she found it because her face became strong and set, but her eyes softened. "You need people who love you around you right now, Emily. You need Katie and Effy to help you. And if you want, I'll help you, too. I'll do whatever I can to help you, because I know you aren't okay. If I can't be your girlfriend, then let me just be your friend. Let me help you like a friend would. Don't push us away by leaving for Paris. Just...stay here." She whispered the last part of her speech, her eyes filling with tears. "Please, Em. Don't do this. Let me be your friend. Let me help you."

I looked up at her, and beneath all the love and hurt I saw in her face, I saw something else – pity. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks – _she knew. _

"They told you about the abortion," I said, almost a whisper. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes, her tears spilling down her cheeks as she nodded at me. I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door as gently as I could manage while she cried.

"I don't need you to be my friend, Naomi." I said icily. My mind was screaming out that I needed her to be so much more. I needed her to love me. I needed her to not know about the abortion. I'd never felt so ashamed.

I opened the door and marched through it, acting as though I knew what I was doing, like I was a responsible adult; on the inside I felt as though my heart was on fire.

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><p>Thank you so much for reading - please let me know what you thought!<p> 


	30. Beginnings

Hello everybody! I'm so sorry about the delay, I've been working on the chapter for a while now and I've had Naomi's part written for about two weeks. Thankfully, Emily felt it was finally time to pop back in my head and tell me what happened next!

I'm quite literally in the middle of exam month right now, so this could be the only update you guys will get for a while. Sorry about that :(

I'm trying to work out whether this is the last chapter and the next update will be an epilogue or whether the next update will be the last chapter and then be followed by an epilogue. I'm also toying with the idea of a sequel, though I'm much more interested in starting another story I've been planning. Let me know what you guys think!

Anyways, on with the chapter! As usual, I don't own the characters or have anything to do with Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 30: Beginnings<span>

_Naomi_

The sound of the front door closing was far too familiar to me. I didn't know what was wrong with me - why wasn't I ever able to convince Emily to stay with me? Half of me was dying to run out after her and yell at her for being so stupid, for always leaving me. I wanted to run after her and beg her to love me even half as much as I loved her. My other half just wanted to curl up in our bed and cry for the rest of the day.

Effy walked over to me and grabbed my arm, squeezing gently. I looked up at her, comfortable enough to let her see me cry. I heard Katie sobbing in the bedroom Emily and I once shared. Effy leaned into me and hugged me tightly.

"You can't go after her, Naoms," Effy whispered. "I know that you want to – I can see it in your eyes."

I sniffled into her shoulder as she hugged me even tighter. I clung to her just as tightly, desperate for some kind of comfort. "I can convince her to stay, Eff, I really think I can. Just drive me to the train station. Please."

Effy shook her head against me. " I can't do that. Let her go, Naomi."

I knew she didn't just mean that I should let Emily go to Paris. I broke down, my knees giving out from underneath me. Effy pushed me up against the wall and absorbed my extra weight, slowly bringing us down to the floor, consoling me as I sobbed into her shoulder. I kept begging her to drive me to the station, and then after realizing that she really wouldn't let me go after Emily, I begged her to hold me tighter and comfort me.

"It's okay, Naoms, shh, it's okay, I know you love her...you can't keep hurting yourself like this... I can't keep watching you get hurt...shh, Naoms, it's okay," she whispered over and over again, her fingers running through my hair comfortingly.

I knew Effy was right – I just wished I could have honestly told her how much I knew Emily loved me, how I knew she didn't really want to leave. But I didn't_ honestly_ know any of that anymore. If Emily really did love me, why was she always able to leave me? I knew that all I wanted was Emily. I wanted to take her back to the beginning, back to Paris. I wanted to remember everything about us, live it all over again. I'd do it again a million times, and I'd never get bored of it.

Effy managed to get me up and walk me to bed, where I did exactly as I wanted and tried to remember everything about Emily. I remembered everything, from the first time I met her and the blue hat she wore out in the cold Parisian weather, to the last words she said to me before leaving today.

Katie came in to check on me, her eyes puffy and red and her cheeks tear-stained. She sniffled as she asked me if I was okay. I shrugged at her, scooted back to make some extra room, and lifted the duvet to let her in. She smiled a watery smile at me, before climbing into bed with me. She grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her waist and sighed against me.

"The sheets smell like her," Katie whispered as I nodded against her shoulder. Katie proved to be the perfect distraction to get me to stop reminiscing – she cuddled into me the exact same way Emily used to, but Katie wasn't as skinny as Emily was. She felt more like Emily did when I first met her, before she vanished for months to go after John and came back home looking a skinny mess.

Effy walked in to the bedroom, carrying two glasses of water, not even questioning why Katie and I were cuddling in bed. She simply climbed in behind me and wrapped her arms tightly around both myself and Katie. We all fell asleep that way.

_Emily_

I stood at the teller's booth at the Bristol train station, staring up at the departures board. There was a train to London that left in fifteen minutes. After I got to London, I'd take the next train to Paris. I had my money in my hand. I was ready. I was leaving. My future was ahead of me. I was ready.

I still hadn't said anything to the teller. I could feel the older woman staring at me as I continued to stare up at the departure board. I could do this. I was ready. I could leave her. I _had_ to leave.

"Miss?" The lady prodded, breaking my trance and forcing me to look at her.

"Sorry," I said, rubbing my eyes tiredly. I pulled my fingers through my hair and bit my lip. I wasn't normally this conflicted when it came time for me to move on. But I couldn't stop hearing Naomi's voice in my head.

_"You need people who love you around you right now, Emily. You need Katie and Effy to help you. And if you want, I'll help you, too."_

Was she trying to tell me that she loved me? That if I wanted her, I could have her back again? Was I really standing here over-thinking her words, hoping that maybe she still cared for me? I could be on a train in fifteen minutes, headed straight towards a new beginning.

But Naomi had a power over me that I couldn't understand. Normally, when it was time for me to leave, I just left. I'd done it once before. I could do it again.

"Miss," the lady prodded, breaking me from my thoughts once again. She smiled gently at me. "I find that when someone is this conflicted about buying a train ticket, they don't actually want to go anywhere, dear."

I nodded at her and bit my lip again.

"Well, I can tell you how to fix whatever you're running away from," She smiled knowingly at me. I nodded at her again, desperate for whatever knowledge this woman possessed that I certainly did not.

"Forgiveness, dear. That's all it takes."

She smiled at me again, softly this time. Her eyes held a tale of regret, lost love and lost opportunities. Her message was clear – _don't end up like me. _Her smile turned watery as her clear blue eyes brimmed with tears.

"Thank you," I whispered before sending her a small smile. I quickly gathered my bags and ran out of the train station. But this time, I ran towards Naomi instead of away from her.

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><p>Please don't forget to let me know what you thought about the update! And don't forget to tell me your thoughts on whether there should be a sequel or a new story once Stranded is finished!<p> 


	31. After the Storm

Hey everybody! I have a big announcement to make - this is the LAST CHAPTER! I can't believe we got here, really. I started this story going into my first year of university, and it seems only fitting that it's starting to finish up as I'm writing my final exams. You've all been so amazing to me over the past few months, and your reviews have made me smile and helped me get through a lot of tough chapters to write. Your encouragement has meant a lot to me. So I just wanted to say thank you, so so so much!

There will be an epilogue posted sometime soon hopefully! It will be much longer than my usual chapters because it will cover a lot more than the usual updates do.

I'll let you know for sure whether I'm going to be writing a sequel or not when I post the epilogue. Even if I don't write a sequel, I'll still be writing, but it'll just be a new story. I have a few ideas and pairings I'm currently playing around with and hopefully when I post the epilogue I'll be able to post a bit more about the new story if I choose to write that instead of the sequel to Stranded.

This chapter is NSFW. I know that because I have the lyrics to "Make Love in This Club" stuck in my head because that is my smut-writing song.

And as usual I don't own/have anything to do with Skins.

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><p><span>Chapter 31: After the Storm<span>

_Naomi_

When I woke up, the bed was empty and the whole apartment was dark. Katie and Effy probably went out to dinner or something. I was glad they didn't wake me up. I wanted to be left alone and I didn't want to go out.

I stretched out in bed, smelling Emily all around me from the sheets. I pushed myself into a sitting position and rubbed my eyes. I'd probably completely fucked up my sleeping pattern for the next few days, since I slept the whole day away and it was 11 o'clock at night and I most definitely wasn't going to go to sleep.

I looked over the room and screamed when I saw someone sitting in the chair next to our bed.

"Hey, stop! It's just me!" Emily's husky voice said as she got up from the chair and made her way over to the bed. She climbed on and grabbed my hand, squeezing tightly. Her eyes were red, as though she'd been crying but she was smiling.

I was shocked. There was no other way to describe it. I'd almost come to terms with the fact that she'd left, and now she was here again.

"You... you're here?" I said, my voice hoarse and heavy with sleep. Emily hoisted herself over me, flinging one of her legs on my other side so she was sitting in my lap. Her hands cupped my face as she continued to smile at me.

"I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave," Emily whispered, kissing me gently on the cheek. "I need you, Naomi, and I'm done fighting it and I'm done running away from you. I'm alright with it now. I'm tied to you. I can't leave you again."

She kissed me gently, wrapping her arms around my neck rather tightly. I wrapped my arms around her waist, a little looser than she held me because I still wasn't sure that she was really here.

"You're not going to Paris? What about the job?" I whispered against her lips. She laughed and kissed my neck, right where my pulse point was.

"You're more important than any stupid job. I'll find another one." She kissed me again, her lips soft and gentle against mine as her tongue sought out mine. "I promise, I'm not leaving. I'm never going to leave you ever again."

This time, I was the one to kiss her. My lips pushed against hers, our tongues colliding. My hands wrapped around her tightly, unafraid of losing her or having her walk away from me. I sat up on my knees, knocking her off my lap. I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her down so I was lying on top of her. I knew we had things to talk about and that the next few months weren't going to be easy by any means, but I loved her desperately and I wanted to show her just how much I cared.

My lips left hers and continued down to her neck, sucking on the delicate skin there, where I felt every moan against my lips, leaving marks wherever my lips landed. My hands slipped under her shirt, feeling her warm, smooth stomach before slowly moving upwards, hovering just over her ribs. I put my fingers in between the gaps I found there before sliding them up gently and cupping her breasts. She arched into my hands and moaned as I flicked my thumbs over her hardened nipples.

I painstakingly pulled my hands away from her and took off her shirt and bra. I kissed her hard, our tongues tangling together as my hands found her breasts again. I pulled away from her and licked down her neck, across her collarbone before finally taking a nipple between my lips. I sucked and gently nipped against it with my teeth as Emily writhed beneath me. I was thankful that Effy and Katie weren't around to hear her moans.

My hands roamed downwards to her jeans, where I began to undo the button and zip on her jeans. Emily pushed against me and sat up, pressing her bare breasts against my clothed chest. Her arms tangled around me and reached for the bottom of my shirt before lifting it off me. I was thankful I hadn't put a bra on that day. She pushed me back, just as I'd done to her so I was now lying on my back and she climbed on top of me. She sat right on top of me and ground herself against me, making us both moan. Her lips attached themselves to my nipple, where she sucked and pressed her tongue against me and made me see stars. I tangled my fingers in her hair, anchoring her to my breast as a loud stream of profanities and moans left my mouth.

Emily pulled herself away from me and I whimpered at the loss of her warmth. She lifted herself off of me and took off her jeans and underwear. She reached for the tie on my sweatpants and undid them and then took off my pants and underwear as well. I was thankful I'd kept up with my waxing during our breakup.

She smiled coyly at me before kissing her way down my stomach, and then moving down to my knee. She grabbed at my knee and put it over her shoulder, kissing all the way down my leg. She blew right onto my clit, knowing just how to drive me insane, before spreading me apart and pushing her tongue inside me.

I moaned so loud, I was sure the neighbours were going to file a noise complaint.

But I didn't care.

I threaded my fingers through Emily's hair, egging her on with my constant moans as she licked her way back up to my clit. She sucked and bit at me gently and brought two fingers against me, rubbing me slightly before pushing them into me. She curled them inside me as she continued to suck on my clit. I was panting and moaning her name and pulling her hair so tightly I was sure I was hurting her but I couldn't stop. I felt my legs start to quiver, and then my stomach started to quiver, and then Emily found a spot inside me that she curled her fingers into and I came blissfully undone. I'd never been a screamer, but Emily certainly turned me into one.

She continued to move gently and slowly inside me, though she'd stopped sucking on my clit as soon as I came, knowing that I would be far too sensitive for her to continue. My legs were still shaking and my heart was hammering against my chest as I pulled her by her shoulders up towards me for a sloppy kiss.

"I love you," She whispered as she laid down against my shoulder, her lips kissing my neck lazily.

"I love you, too," I whispered back as I brushed my fingers through her hair, down her bare back. I loved the feeling of Emily's weight on top of me, feeling us breathe in unison.

I felt Emily's breath slow against the skin of my neck, and knew that she'd drifted off to sleep. I wasn't tired yet, though. I stayed up for a while longer and put my hand in the centre of Emily's back, feeling every breath she took as her back rose and fell.

I would do anything for her, and now I knew that she would do the same for me. Within those few moments of silence and comfort with Emily, I knew we were ready to take on the challenges that the next few months would bring.

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><p>Check out my brand spanking new tumblr page at keeping-schtum (dot) tumblr (dot) com! You can follow me or ask me a question about my life or Stranded or any future stories I'm going to be working on or we can just sit and chat and virtually braid each other's hair - sounds great, right?<p>

Please don't forget to let me know what you thought in a review! Are you happy with the way things worked out?


	32. Epilogue

****_**IMPORTANT: THE SEQUEL TO STRANDED IS NOW UP - I forgot to put this reminder here earlier, so the sequel is already 3 chapters long and it is called As It Was Made To Be - you can find a link to it on my profile page!**  
><em>

**Hello everybody! Well, it's finally here - THE EPILOGUE! It's the longest update by far, standing at about 6000 words. **

**While I was writing the epilogue, I realized there was way too much I saw for Emily and Naomi's future to fit it all into one little epilogue. So I'm going to be writing a sequel, though it's going to be very different from Stranded and won't be nearly as angsty! **

**I want to thank you all for your reviews and messages and encouragement, you've all been absolutely amazing throughout this whole process, so thank you very much!**

**As usual, I don't own/have anything to do with Skins.**

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><p><span>Epilogue<span>

_June 21__st__, 2012_

_ Naomi_

I woke up feeling anxious and definitely scared. Today was our first appointment with a couple's therapist, and we'd already invested a lot of time and research into finding the right therapist for us, as well as the right therapeutic method to strengthen our relationship. Emily had tossed and turned all night, and I'd done much the same – it was impossible to sleep because I knew she was so anxious, and I didn't know how to comfort her because I was just as anxious as she was.

"Today's the day," she whispered as she slapped our alarm off.

"Fuck me, I'm nervous," I said as I got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Emily followed me in and we got ready side by side.

The decision to go to couple's therapy wasn't one that we took lightly. I was always very skeptical of therapists, and Emily was nervous about whether our therapist would be able to deal with all of her issues. We were both nervous about whether we would be treated differently because we were a gay couple. However, we both agreed that we felt overwhelmed and unprepared to deal with our issues on our own, and couple's therapy was the obvious route we decided to explore. We were both willing to try, and according to the extensive research I'd done on therapeutic techniques, that was a good thing.

We arrived at Dr. Stone's office fifteen minutes early for our appointment. We sat down and Emily quickly reached for a magazine and flipped through it so quickly I knew she wasn't actually paying attention to the magazine – she was more nervous than anything. I grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly and smiled at her. That was my way of asking her to please calm the fuck down.

We watched as a straight couple left Dr. Stone's office, the woman crying hysterically and the man left with a shocked and confused expression on his face. I turned to Emily with an obviously frightened expression on my face. In turn, she looked worriedly at me.

"Maybe we should go," Emily whispered, grabbing her purse and pulling me up.

"Ah! Not so fast!" Dr. Stone said as she walked out of her office, pointing her finger at us authoritatively. Emily looked as though she was about to wet herself in fear, and I'm sure I looked much the same. "Don't be so worried!"

I smiled at her, small and hesitant. She didn't look so bad. She was poised and refined and dressed casually and she didn't _look_ scary. I squeezed Em's hand and lead us into Dr. Stone's office.

We all sat down, Emily and I in separate chairs and Dr. Stone sat across from us. She smiled warmly at us and pulled a notepad towards her.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Stone," she said, still smiling. Emily nodded at her.

"I'm Emily Fitch," Emily said, slightly awkwardly, looking at me for reassurance. I smiled at her.

"And I'm Naomi Campbell," I said, fidgeting with my hands in my lap. We'd only just introduced ourselves, but Dr. Stone was already frantically writing notes on her notepad. I wanted to lean over and read what she was writing. What could she possibly have gotten from that?

"Tell me about your relationship, Emily."

Emily cleared her throat and looked directly at Dr. Stone. "Well, Naomi and I have been together for about seven months now, in a sort of on and off relationship. All the breakups and time apart have really been my fault. Um, the first time I left I lied to Naomi and told her that I had a job in London and that I would only be gone a few weeks. I ended up staying there for three months."

Dr. Stone was still writing frantically. "Why did you stay away for so long?"

"Well, I was um...searching for a man who raped me two years ago. I'd been searching for him for a long time and I finally had a reliable lead on where he was. I was actually looking for him when I was in Toronto."

I looked at Emily, stunned. I never knew that. There were so many things she never told me. Dr. Stone obviously noted my shocked look, and started writing even more quickly.

"Naomi and I met in Paris due to a flight diversion. We were both coming back to London from Toronto and we ended up in Paris and the airline booked us together as hotel roommates. Um, anyway, so I was in London looking for John when I left for three months. And I found him, and I got my revenge and then I called the police and he's currently in jail and serving a life sentence, because he'd also raped about 15 other women, some of whom were underage. When I came back to Bristol, back to Naomi, I explained everything to her and she took me back. Things were going pretty well.

"About a month after I came back, I went to the Doctor's because my identical twin has premature ovarian failure, and I'm worried that I'll get it as well. The doctor mentioned things that I could do in case I ever developed early menopause. Stuff like IVF, freezing my eggs. I went a bit...mad. I guess I went baby-crazy. I convinced my sister that she could use my eggs and have a baby since we're identical twins. I talked to Naomi about having a baby. And I started going through hormone treatments for egg extraction right away, without really considering what Naomi wanted."

"This all seems like a rather sudden change – is there anything that could have brought this on?" Dr. Stone asked, taking a break from her frantic note-taking. Emily nodded and her eyes filled with tears, and I saw that she was about to break down. I handed her a box of tissues and squeezed her hand tightly.

"I...I had an abortion after I was raped," Emily said, fighting off her tears as Dr. Stone nodded and wrote a short note on her notepad. "I suppose, after dealing with John and not dealing with the abortion for so many years, it all just crept up on me.

"I knew Naomi wasn't ready to have a baby, so I confronted her about it. She said she wasn't ready, and I told her that I was planning on leaving to go to Paris, where I'd been offered a job. Naomi... she lost it. She flipped a desk and broke stuff and yelled at me and I'd never seen her act like that. I guess, throughout most of our relationship, I neglected her feelings. So I was surprised when she reacted that way. She left the apartment, and after that everything really started to fall apart. My sister, Katie, found out about the abortion and she and her girlfriend sat me down and held a sort of intervention. It didn't really work because I was so mortified that they knew that I started to pack all my things and planned on leaving for Paris right then and there. Then Naomi came back to the flat looking for her shampoo," Emily's face changed, as though she had just remembered something and looked back at me. "Shit, sorry, Naoms, I forgot to tell you, I stole your shampoo." I smiled and shrugged at her – it didn't matter now anyway, since I got it back when Emily came back to me. Emily shook her head and tried to recollect her thoughts. "So Naomi came in looking for her shampoo, and she saw me packing all my things and begged me to stay. She offered to help me through things and told me that I needed to be around people who cared about me.

"And that's when I figured out that Katie had told her about the abortion, too. I was so upset and embarrassed and Naomi kept saying that she could be my friend, and all I thought was that I wanted her to be so much more than that. It all was too much, so I left," Emily looked up and smiled at Dr. Stone. "Obviously, I didn't really leave. I only made it to the train station before I realized, with a little help, that I was making a mistake. I went back to the apartment. Back to Naomi. And now we're here."

Dr. Stone nodded. "How's your sex life?"

"Good." We answered in unison. Dr. Stone smiled.

"Okay," Dr. Stone said, making a final note on her notepad. "Well, we have just about run out of time for this week. Next week, we're going to be focusing on Naomi's interpretation of the relationship, and then after that, I think we'll start doing individual sessions with the both of you. Emily, you have a lot that we have to deal with, and from the sounds of it, Naomi has quite a lot to deal with as well. The key aspect of your relationship that needs work is communication – you two tend to communicate well through body language, and your sex life is good but communicating orally is important as well. That is where you two fall short," Dr. Stone smiled at us. "So, same time next week, ladies?"

We smiled and nodded at her. I grabbed Emily's hand and we walked out of the office.

"She's not scary at all," I said as we walked back to the flat. Emily laughed and nodded at me.

_September 5__th__, 2012_

I really never thought I'd see the day that I would be putting up a huge banner in my apartment that said HEY MUM I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL, but Katie and Effy were having a joint coming out party and apparently the goal of the night was to give Jenna Fitch a heart attack.

Katie and Effy had been together for ten months now, which in lesbian terms meant they were reaching their golden anniversary, and they finally decided that they should stop avoiding their parents and just tell them about their relationship. Anthea, Effy's mum, had pretty much figured it out since she once walked in on Katie and Effy having sex, but Effy had yet to confirm it to her. Almost the same thing happened with Rob Fitch, Katie's dad, but he's told Katie that he's supportive of whatever choice she makes and whoever she loves.

They also figured that now was a good time to tell their parents because they were planning on selling Katie's flat and buying a house together. I've also been hearing them talk about civil unions and lady babies but that was only because I'm really good at eavesdropping on their private conversations. I'm pretty sure nobody is supposed to know that they want to get married and have kids.

"Emily, could you pass me the hammer?" I asked. Emily was standing next to me, holding onto my legs because she was worried about me falling off the very small ladder I had to use to hang the banner up. She let go of one of my legs and reached down by her feet and handed me the hammer.

"Be careful," she said in a worried voice as she squeezed my legs tightly.

"Emily, even if I fell I wouldn't really hurt myself because I'm only two feet off the ground."

Emily slapped the back of my legs. "Dr. Stone says you shouldn't brush off my concern for your safety!"

"Ooh, blah blah blah, Dr. Stone says blah blah blah," I said in an irritating high-pitched voice as I tried to hammer the banner in place. "Why am I even using a hammer for this? Why can't I just tape this sign up here? KATIE! GET ME THE FUCKING DUCT TAPE!"

"Duct tape doesn't work for everything you know," Emily said as I handed her the hammer.

"Clearly you don't understand just how wondrous duct tape really is," I said as Katie handed me the duct tape, which eventually held the banner in place successfully.

"See! I did it!" I said proudly as I leaned into Emily's side. "Doesn't it look great?"

"It looks like a lesbian got lazy and used duct tape to solve all her problems," Emily said before picking up the hammer and putting away her tools.

"You're the one who has a tool belt! Maybe you should have been up here hanging the sign!" I huffed as I put the ladder back.

"Stop being defensive! Remember what Dr. Stone said!" Emily called back as Effy walked into the kitchen.

"You know," Effy said as she looked up at the banner and shrugged. "I'm really so happy that you and Emily went to couple's therapy. Katie and I have really learned probably as much as you two have about effective communicating and defensiveness and stonewalling and lovely Dr. Stone. You two being in couple's therapy has really helped my relationship with Katie."

I was specially trained to hear the sarcasm in Effy's voice, so I decided to chase her around the whole flat in retaliation. "Effy Stonem, you aren't going to live to see Jenna Fitch's heart attack tonight!"

"Naomi! That sounds defensive!" Effy laughed as I tackled her onto the floor. I couldn't help but laugh and we ended up laughing our asses off on the living room floor.

Katie and Emily walked in and sat on the couch, watching Effy and I as we joked about Dr. Stone. Emily and I really did love our therapist, really we did, but sometimes we couldn't help but make fun of the situation. After all, nobody has a perfect relationship, and sometimes people lash out and act defensive. The important part about our relationship was that we always worked hard at it and we always addressed issues we had with each other. Our communication had definitely improved since we first started seeing Dr. Stone. We had been talking with Dr. Stone about possible dates for our last scheduled session, and we decided on mid-November. We'd been assured that if we ever needed to come back, Dr. Stone would welcome us back with open arms, but we were hoping that we wouldn't have to go back.

Later that night, after Jenna saw our lovely banner and surprisingly did not have a heart attack and after everyone invited to the coming out party went home, Effy and Katie and Emily and I all sat in the living room.

"I can't believe your mum didn't flip out," Effy said as she took a sip of her tea. Katie nodded and Emily did as well. I'd only met Jenna on a few occasions, but she seemed..._tolerant_ of me, I suppose. She certainly seemed to like me a lot better after I quit my online newspaper job and got a "proper job" working for an actual news agency in London. I only had to go in to the office about once a month for a few meetings, and I was always back home the same day. I think she just wanted to make sure that her daughters were taken care of.

"Jenna's not so bad," I murmured. Emily smiled at me and kissed me gently, while Effy and Katie made disgusted noises at us.

_November 24__th__, 2012_

Our last session with Dr. Stone was about a week ago, and Emily and I were still going strong without any problems. But today, we were especially emotional because it was Katie and Effy's moving out day. We were loading all of their packed boxes up into a rather large U-Haul truck. Effy and I had been crying all morning, scared shitless of how quickly our lives were changing. But we were also pretty pleased with ourselves – we'd both come a long way from the two teenage girls who were afraid of love and partied their lives away.

Emily and I had snuck out last night to Katie and Effy's new house. We spent the whole night painting their new living room to match the living room in our flat. We thought it would be a nice surprise for them, and we wanted to help them give their new house a home-y feeling.

Emily hopped up onto the back of the U-Haul and tugged the door of the back of the truck until it slid closed. Effy had tears in her eyes as she hugged me tightly.

"Don't forget to visit," She said, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled at her and nodded. It was a bit silly of her to say that, really. She was only a short walk away, and we had already made plans to come over tomorrow to help them build their new furniture and set the house up. But I knew Effy had to say it, had to remind me that we could never lose the friendship that we had.

Emily and Katie said their own tearful goodbyes, and before we knew it, Katie and Effy hopped into their truck and drove away with all their stuff. Emily wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed my cheek.

The apartment looked so empty when we went back upstairs. Katie and Effy had decided to leave us all the pots and pans and dishes, and we agreed to let them have the couch and the TV. I smiled at the sight of our empty living room – it wasn't exactly a joyful memory that popped into my head, but I remembered when the living room was empty all those months ago when we first moved in and Effy used to call it "the meditation zone" instead of the living room.

Emily was standing in the doorway of Effy's bedroom, which had sort of become both Katie and Effy's bedroom since Katie spent so much of her time here.

"What the hell are we going to use this room for?" Emily asked, gesturing to the rather large room and ensuite. It was really a second master bedroom. "Do you think Cook would want to move in and pay rent?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Cook would probably say no because this place is a bit too fancy and feminine for him. I can always ask him, though, if you want."

Emily shrugged at me. "Maybe we can get a dog and this can be the dog's room."

I stared at her blankly. "I certainly hope that if we do get a dog, we won't pamper it so much that it'll get its own room."

Emily laughed and shrugged. She was now officially the co-owner of the apartment, since she bought Effy's half of the apartment using the money she'd made from selling her own flat all those months ago while she was in London. And because she was co-owner, that meant that we had to decide what to do with the extra bedroom together.

"This conversation is making me exhausted. Can't we just go to IKEA and find a couch and some stuff for the living room?" I asked as I wandered off into the kitchen to start boiling the kettle to make a cup of tea.

"I suppose we could. Maybe once we get to IKEA we'll finally decide what kind of room we want," Emily said as she followed me into the kitchen and brought the Garibaldi's out from the pantry. I smiled at her. She knew me so well.

"Naoms," she said as she sat down at the table and I made her a cup of tea. "Do you want to get a dog or a cat or something?"

I shrugged at her, setting her cup of tea down in front of her. "Sure. A dog would be nice. I'm home during the day, so I can walk it and make sure it doesn't tear the flat apart. Plus, we have very little furniture now, so really the only thing the dog could destroy is our bed."

Emily smiled at me. "I've kind of already been looking for a dog, to be honest," She said shyly. "I wanted to get one as a surprise for you for Christmas. My dad knows someone who has a Corgi, and she just had puppies about a month ago. I was going to go over to visit them on Monday, so if you want, you could come with me."

I smiled at her and nodded.

Needless to say, that Monday we bonded with a gorgeous Corgi puppy. She had white and tan markings and was adorably fluffy. Apparently, her fluffiness meant she couldn't be used for breeding or as a show dog and that made her cheaper than the rest of the puppies. We got to bring her home when she was 8 weeks old, and by that time we had decked out the apartment with dog toys and a dog bed and everything else you could possibly need for a puppy. And yes, we had finally made it to IKEA and bought a couch and loveseat and coffee table for the living room. We also bought a new TV, but we didn't get that from IKEA.

"Here you go, Elizabeth," Emily said as she opened up the dog carrier we brought Elizabeth home in. She walked out of the crate and straight into my lap.

After Emily found out that the Queen loved Corgis, she became obsessed with finding a royal name for our puppy. I insisted that the name could be shortened so we didn't have to call our dog something ridiculous like Anne Boleyn or Mary Queen of Scots. Emily eventually settled on Elizabeth after watching The Tudors and decided to name our dog after Elizabeth I.

"I wish you wouldn't call her Elizabeth. Effy's going to think we named our dog after her," I said as Libby, as I liked to call her, moved from my lap to Emily's side. She looked between the two of us, before deciding that we were uninteresting and wandered off to explore the flat. Emily smiled at me and leaned over to kiss me.

Libby trotted over to us happily with a tennis ball in her mouth. Her whole body was shaking in excitement as she dropped the ball and barked at us. We broke apart from each other and stared at her intently as she picked the ball up in her mouth and flung her whole body so quickly that the ball flew out of her mouth and bounced across the flat. She ran after it and caught the tennis ball again.

"The dog's a bloody genius," I whispered as Libby trotted back over to us happily and did the same trick again. Emily smiled at me and went into the kitchen to set up Libby's water and food bowls.

Libby fit in well with our lifestyle. I was all too happy to wake up early and take her out to the park across the street and play with her and teach her new tricks. During the day she would lay at my feet while I worked on my articles. She would wait at the door for Emily to come home – she knew the exact time Emily was supposed to come home and would go to sit by the door exactly fifteen minutes before Em was due home. She sat next to Emily as she made dinner in the kitchen and followed us around until Emily and I were ready to take her out for her evening walk. We usually took her to Effy and Katie's house since they had a big yard and Libby loved running around outside. Effy and Katie had both fallen hopelessly in love with Libby and were now talking about getting their own dog so that Libby could have a playmate.

Even though it was winter, we would all sit and freeze our asses off as we watched Libby show off all her new tricks to Effy and Katie. They'd put up a tiny baby basketball net in their backyard for Libby and with some training, Libby learned how to put her tennis ball into the hoop.

The first time she saw snow was the most exciting day of all. Since Effy and Katie's backyard was on a slope, Libby learned that she could slide down the slope and that everybody would laugh hysterically at her fur blowing in the wind. Emily used to fret over her after she spent too long outside one day and caught a small cold, so now Libby was forced to wear snow booties and a sweater when she was outside in the snow. She really hated that and always gave Emily dirty looks when we would laugh at the way she walked in the booties.

We were blissfully happy that Christmas, though Libby was not as happy as we were because Emily forced her to wear a sweater with a reindeer on it. Though I must say, it did make for quite the cute Christmas family portrait.

_February 12__th__, 2013_

After finding out that the train tickets that Emily had bought me last Christmas were about to expire, we decided to take an impromptu and romantic trip to Paris for Valentine's day. We were quite upset to find out that Libby couldn't come with us as they didn't allow dogs on the Eurostar trains, but Effy and Katie were all too eager to dog-sit Libby for the three days we were planning on being gone. And Libby seemed very excited when we dropped her off at Katie and Effy's house, so Emily and I tried not to get too upset about leaving our adorable puppy.

When we finally arrived in Paris, the first thing we did was took a picture in front of the Eiffel tower. In hindsight, it probably seemed a little odd that we decided to head to the Eiffel tower before dropping off our luggage at the hotel. But posing in front of the Eiffel tower with Emily and our suitcases seemed fitting. We even rebuilt our suitcase fort from the first time we were in Paris, and took a picture of that in front of the Eiffel tower. We thought it was hilarious, but a few people gave us some odd looks.

Our stay was romantic and sexy and everything a Valentine's day getaway should be. It was our last night in Paris, and it was Valentine's day. We ate at a swanky restaurant that I had made reservations for about two months ago, and it was honestly amazing. Emily looked radiant in a gorgeous silk black dress, and I couldn't help but feel anxious at what I knew was coming up next. The velvet box in the pocket of my dress pants felt much heavier now than it had when I slyly slipped it in my pocket in the hotel.

We left the restaurant and I suggested, despite the cold weather, that we took a nice evening walk together. Emily nodded and tightened her trench coat around her neck. I offered her my arm, which she blushed and smiled at, and we walked towards _Le Pont Des Arts. _The bridge was bustling that night, but Emily and I found a quiet bench to sit on and I decided to wait until the bridge quietened down a little bit. Emily wandered around, snapping photos of the gorgeous views from the bridge. On one side was the Institut de France, and on the other was the central square of the palais du Louvre. Emily smiled at me and waved me over.

"Look," she said as she wrapped her arm around my waist and pointed to a padlock that was attached to the bridge. "People in love put them here."

I nodded and smiled at her. I had done my research on the bridge, and I knew that people did that. I'd gone to a shop a few weeks ago and bought a padlock, and then had it engraved with our initials. I pulled it out of my pocket, already unlocked and handed it to Emily.

"I know. I had one made for us," I said as she squealed in delight. She looked up at me in awe and kissed me.

"I love you, Naomi," she said, smiling as she twirled the padlock in her hands.

"I love you, too, Em."

She wandered around, holding my hand and dragging me along with her as she tried to find the perfect spot for our padlock. When she finally settled on a place, she insisted that we closed it together.

She smiled and took a picture of the padlock and then forced me to take a cheesy photo standing next to it. The bridge was almost empty now and I was starting to lose feeling in my face because it was so cold.

Emily was sitting on a bench, staring out at the Seine and Notre Dame. I sat next to her and grabbed her hand.

"Emily," I whispered, making her look over at me. She smiled nervously at me. "I really want to ask you something."

She looked stunned and held up her hands, basically telling me to stop. "Oh my god, oh my god, are you going to ask what I think you're going to ask?" She was smiling, but still looked pretty shocked. I nodded at her and blushed profusely.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I just ruined the moment but I really have to ask you something, too," she said as she tilted my face up so I was looking at her. She smiled at me and winked and I finally caught on.

I cleared my throat and reached into my pocket as Emily did the same, both of us pulling out ring boxes.

"Emily Fitch..."

"Naomi Campbell..."

"Will you marry me?"

And then we laughed and squealed and kissed. I put Emily's engagement ring on her finger, and she did the same for me. We kissed until my face was really numb and I insisted that we go back to the hotel.

We held hands the whole way back, with silly goofy smiles on our faces.

When we got home, Katie and Effy had happy smiles on their faces. I'd obviously told Effy about my plans to propose to Emily, and Emily had told Katie about her plans to propose to me, and obviously Katie and Effy told each other about our proposal plans so they knew we were both going to propose on the same night. Effy pointed at the ring on Emily's finger and smiled victoriously at Katie.

"You owe me 50 quid! I told you Naomi wouldn't chicken out!" Effy said as she did her happy dance and Katie rolled her eyes at her.

"You do understand that we have a joint bank account now and technically my money and your money is the same thing, so betting against me is pointless," Katie said in a monotone as Effy ignored her and started dancing with Libby.

"Hang on a second, you two placed bets on whether I would chicken out?" I asked as Effy nodded with a huge smile on her face and Katie shrugged.

"You don't really seem to be the commitment type," Katie murmured as she frowned at Effy, who was still dancing around happily. I suppose I had to agree with that – it took Emily and I three weeks to decide on what kind of couch we were going to buy, and about a month to decide on whether we would get a plasma or an LCD TV...and_ most_ of the indecisiveness had been on my part.

Libby started jumping all over Emily and I, happy to see us once again. I decided against mentioning the ridiculous sweater Emily had bought for Libby, just because Libby seemed so excited to see us and I knew how much she hated those damn sweaters.

_March 23__rd__, 2013_

The one thing Emily and I both agreed on was that we didn't want a big wedding. Gay marriage wasn't legal in England yet, so we could only have a civil partnership anyway. We decided that we would bring a few guests to the Old Council House, namely Katie, Effy, Kieran, my mum, Jenna, Rob, James Fitch, and Cook. Emily was hesitant about inviting her mum, but Jenna had become a lot more accepting over the years, and eventually Emily decided that she really wanted her mum at her wedding (even though it wasn't really a wedding).

My mum convinced Katie and Effy to wear fascinators, just like they did at the Royal Wedding. Mum had even brought an extra one for Jenna just in case she decided she wanted to join in on the fun, which surprisingly, she did. Kieran, Cook, Rob and James all wore top hats.

Emily wore a long sleeved, plain white raw silk dress that cut off just above her knees. The dress was a classic number and had a high neckline but was cut low in the back, to just about the middle of Emily's spine. She looked gorgeous.

I contemplated coming to the ceremony in jeans and a t-shirt, but Effy had taken me dress shopping weeks ago and we'd chosen a simple white dress that had thick straps that settled just at the edge of my shoulders. I ended up deciding that I should just stick to the plan and wear the dress.

We decided to just say the legal vows at the ceremony, because Emily and I didn't really need all those extra words to show that we extra loved each other. We just knew. And then finally we signed the civil partnership register and it was finally over with.

After that, we all left the Old Council House and went back to our apartment to get drunk and eat because that was what we did best. Emily put Libby in a fancy black sweater and Libby pouted all night. After Emily had a glass of champagne and was a bit loosened up, I took the sweater off the poor dog and hid it in the office – Emily never goes in there.

Rob, Jenna and James were the first to leave, soon followed by my mum and Kieran. Cook left at about 1 in the morning, and Effy and Katie stayed to help us clean up. They insisted that we shouldn't have to clean up on our wedding night.

At the end of it all, we sat down in the living room, Libby, Emily and I all on the couch, and Katie and Effy on the loveseat. Libby was lying on her back and snoring slightly. Effy and Katie were cuddled into each other.

"So, when are you two going to tie the knot?" Emily asked as she cuddled into me, playing with her wedding band.

"We want to wait until it's legal, which hopefully won't be much longer," Effy said as Katie leaned into her shoulder and yawned while she nodded. "We'll probably have kids before then, though. We'll need your help for that, though, Ems."

Emily nodded absentmindedly, as though she hadn't really heard what Effy had just said. Then, all of a sudden, she sat up completely straight and stared wide-eyed at Katie and Effy.

"Wait, so that means...do you want me to be the egg donor?"

Katie and Effy nodded, smiling slightly as Emily teared up. I knew this was a touchy subject for her, and we'd spent a lot of time in couple's therapy working through Emily's issues in regards to her abortion and any future children we may have. She smiled a watery smile and looked up at Katie and Effy.

"I'd be delighted," she whispered, letting a few tears fall down her cheeks. I smiled at her and kissed the tears away.

I don't think Katie and Effy realized just how big a step Emily had taken, but I knew, and I was so proud of her and proud of how far we had come both individually, and as a couple.

* * *

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